FaultyBall: always with you and the scat, dude... when does the feces stop
FaultyBall: always with the smearing
Winstonian: stops after the shower
FaultyBall: oh...well, that's progress, I guess
FaultyBall: you gotta slowly wean yourself off the fecalphilia
Winstonian: yea, takes time man
FaultyBall: work it down from full-body mudslides to occasional turd rollings
Winstonian: but the mudslides are sooooooo refreshing
FaultyBall: yeah, I know, man... it's tough at first
FaultyBall: don't lose hope... a time will come when other things will get you just as wildly horny as fecal matter
Winstonian: but maybe with the help of friends, i'll be down to just occasional chili dogs
FaultyBall: like... naked women
FaultyBall: yeah, we can only hope
FaultyBall: "Hi, my name is Ryan and I'm a fecalphiliac..."
FaultyBall: "Hi, Ryan"
Winstonian: withdrawal is so tough
Winstonian: don't know if i can do it
FaultyBall: thus begins the 12-step program of fecal recovery
FaultyBall: well, the first step is admitting you have a scat problem
FaultyBall: when you find yourself in the bathroom at work multiple times daily, just trying to squeeze one out so you can smear it on your chest and then put your shirt over it, you know you need help
Winstonian: but i thought it was normal
Winstonian: doesn't everyone?
FaultyBall: I know, man... I know
FaultyBall: well, consider the looks of utter horror and disgust you get as you walk down the hallways
FaultyBall: especially when you still have a lil' smidgen o' shit dangling off of your nose or chin
Winstonian: i think they thought it was just chocolate
Winstonian: and i had just gotten out of the trash
FaultyBall: I hope so... but remember, chocolate doesn't smell like feces
Winstonian: but it tastes like it, well to me and my dogs....
FaultyBall: yeah, that's another thing you should probably work on too, is the bestiality
Winstonian: so i should stop putting honey on my penis and have them lick it off while i ejaculate into their fur???
FaultyBall: as hot as dogsex can be, sometimes you just hafta step back and say to yourself, "Wait a minute, this is just wrong"
Winstonian: but it's only wrong if you don't enjoy it, right?
FaultyBall: well, I think a logical first step would be to quit ramming your dogs in the ass, because it just hurts them
Winstonian: but blood is soooooo lubricating
FaultyBall: but you BOTH get enjoyment out of the honey lickjobs, so I'd say that's ok
Winstonian: how about the intentional abdomen fucking of the dogs, i always sew them back up when i'm done, so it's ok right?
FaultyBall: sure, if they're properly anesthetized
FaultyBall: but tying them down to the kitchen counter with a muzzle to keep them from biting you is probably animal cruelty
Winstonian: oh, i just covered their noses with ether and had my way
FaultyBall: oh, that's acceptable
FaultyBall: do you shave a spot off their back to ejaculate onto the bare doggy skin? I used to do that before my dog died of unexplained massive internal hemorrhaging
FaultyBall: I guess I crammed in one too many anal beads
Winstonian: no, the fur tickling m'balls just turned me on
FaultyBall: well, good... cuz that way you don't hafta explain the shaved spot to people
FaultyBall: "Yeahhh, he, uh... had an operation"
FaultyBall: "Again? In the same spot?"
FaultyBall: "..... Yes."
Winstonian: yea, i learned that from my bird
Winstonian: people just didn't understand
Winstonian: so i was prepared with the dog sex
FaultyBall: you know what's awesome? While your anus is still coated with a fresh layer of diarrhea lube, cram a parakeet up there and let it squirm about a bit, and then take it out and watch it try to fly
Winstonian: i got a lot of pointers out of your newly relased book
FaultyBall: Yeah, writing that book is the best thing I ever did... besides that luscious golden retriever I did back in '97
FaultyBall: Parakeets have a really hard time trying to fly when they're covered with sticky human feces
FaultyBall: their feathers stick together for days
Winstonian: yea, and it's just hilarious to watch
FaultyBall: Have you ever tried catsex? The noises those animals make are amazing and arousing
FaultyBall: and they're sooo tight, you need an extra-sharp kitty butt plug to loosen 'em up a bit before you can really go at it
Winstonian: ah, how bout just a sharpie?
FaultyBall: whatever floats yer butt
FaultyBall: boat
FaultyBall: no... butt was right
Winstonian: yes, butt
Winstonian: do it doggy style..........in da butt
FaultyBall: hahaha, thanks, George
Winstonian: so what's the moral of the story? it's ok to fuck ANYthing in da butt
FaultyBall: bingo
FaultyBall: and that settles that
Winstonian: yes