Here are some excerpts from one of 2 cover letters I wrote to the Director of the local chapter of a well-known civil rights legal org, in February 1995 when my case was still being considered in federal court. I am not quite sure whether I delivered this letter or my other one or both to the org, along with some documents. Both letters included discussions which I wasn't sure the dear boys and girls could handle. Anyway I included a copy of this letter with most of my submissions to other legal orgs.
I decided to compose and file the Complaint myself in December 1994 after several frustrated attempts to consult with/retain a private attorney. I am still perturbed concerning these attempts, some of which involved your associates. However it may be most fitting that [your org] handle this, since it involves Bill of Rights issues, classism, sexism, racism, mental health rights, police, taxation etc. I have communicated before, during and after my disputed hospital incarceration to persons involved in journalism and human rights activism and environmentalism. I doubt any of them will ever attain the status of Official Whipping Girl for a Major Metropolitan Area, as I seem to have achieved, but if the official treatment of myself of February 1993 is allowed to go unquestioned, they might well find themselves in similar predicaments.
...This is a FEDERAL question concerning violations of my Constitutional rights. I expect it should go to the Supreme Court- should I have filed with the Supreme Court to begin with? Another innovation this case might produce would be making it a FEDERAL requirement to offer a Voluntary Admission Agreement; however they even violated [state law]!
...I know damned well I an not manic depressive, major depressive, nor do I have multiple personality, borderline personality disorder or even adjustment disorder, except I refuse to adjust to being treated like shit.
I reckon that ["Rocky Byafo"], M.D. is either a Prosecution [certain type of] witness, a [certain type of] Defense witness, or the biggest Chauve dumb schmuck hypocrite in the mental health rights field. But, you know, That's Love. By the way, I was thrown off a temporary work assignment at an agricultural chemical plant for reading [one of his books with a situationally provocative word in the title]. Or maybe they got some feedback (within 2 hours!) from my recording my soc. sec.# at the guard shack.
...Anyway, [my case v. the community college et al] is not about whether I was abused by just about everybody (although I WAS); it's about whether ARCC et al violated my rights of expression, privacy and liberty. Please remember that; I doubt the public will.
...When medical malpractice is shown to be intentional, it is criminally prosecutable, is it not? Isn't that a federal concern? Medical malpractice usally involves an error which produces an undesirable result but we do not say the patient's FREEDOM has been compromised, we say that his bodily movement has become limited; we do not say that his PRIVACY RIGHTS are affected, but that he is not physically self-reliant; we do not consider his EXPRESSION denied, but the range of the means of such has been narrowed. However in the case of incarceration in a mental hospital, it is these freedoms and rights which are intentionally and severely diminished. Medical malpractice involves an error in diagnosis of which disease a patient has contracted or which is the most appropriate treatment, but in all cases the patient has sought out the doctor for attention to what he considers a disease or medical problem. In my case the doctors have incarcerated me against my will and labelled me with several contradictory diagnoses, against the evidence, which I myself presented, of my health. (mental health).
I may have read these ideas somewhere; I'm sure they have been expressed before; but they have occurred to me now again.
...I cannot _make_ [my ex-favorite radical radio station] or anybody else love me or even call me, I cannot _make_ a therapist listen to me, I cannot _make_ [co-op ed guy], ARCC or anybody else give me a job, and I cannot _make_ [my Aunt] or [her husband] give me rent money to keep me from homelessness, but if nobody will help me live a decent human life, how can they _make_ me be examined or treated for thinking of suicide? Although I do believe in the right to suicide, that is not the one I am fighting for here. There is no doubt in my mind that Dean zzzzz would have been quite happy if I had killed myself in the summer of '93, when I got much closer to it than I had ever gotten in '91 or '92, as long as I did it off her campus. And to this day it 'don't matter who else I kill' because if _I_ can be raped and everything elsed and _I_ am not allowed to express anger even about it, then nobody else has any rights, either. Some of your associates have treated me like I am some kind of dangerous wounded animal, and rationality supports my anger, but at this moment I don't feel very much like anything in the letter to [co-op ed guy]. I'm scared of going into foreign bureaucrats' territories and I don't feel like helping the humans but I don't think they're _all_ monsters or assholes and now I'm tireder and lazier and don't care much about my money situation although it's still critical. For a while I got excited about helping people disappeared in mental hospitals but somebody put a damper on that too.
...Manic depression is a possible disqualifier for even a regular driver's license, but I renewed that without a problem. So far the diagnosis has not come up in anybody's computer (except maybe that chemical firm's). But I know there is a mandatory treatment controversy in [another state] and, considering what Amerika has done to me so far, I don't want to give it more opportunity.
I am asking for $5M plus legal fees and I figure that amount is fair- I figure what they did to me was worse than what they did to Rodney King. I am sure I would find the possession of $5M or even $1M to be as uncomfortable as the verge of homelessness, and as much fraught with predators. I _know_ that there is only a minuscule amount of humanity, love, friendship, honesty, around here, for me anyway, but maybe I will be able to buy a little more. Maybe [a lawyer buddy of Dr. Byafo's] was concerned I might still be suicidal. I want you g'd ole males to understand that if I CAN'T sue, then it ain't worth living, ya know? Now if you HELP me, I'll have a lot to live for, ya unnerstand? Now another thing: I don't have any GUILT about any of this stuff and I haven't for quite a while. When I said 'If I can't live decently' I meant [to be explained later]. I did not mean [to be explained later]. When I wrote [something else to be explained later]. But, of course as I Especially Know, when you tell people about things, they just [sic] give you more of the same. I hope you will prove me wrong.
About 2 weeks after I delivered this or the other letter and some documentation to the well-known legal org, I received in the postal mail their 3rd rejection (second in writing), signed by the Director. I got so upset that I phoned their local and national offices and 4 other prominent legal/media orgs/individuals and screamed to them, their staff or their voicemail that I WOULD kill myself if I couldn't get justice. (There was also a maintenance man working 1 1/2 floors below my closed apartment door.) Minutes later I was visited by 2 Bombarock County police officers and a paddy wagon. I convinced them I was not going to kill myself, and they chuckled and left, however again refusing to tell me who had called them. Later I inquired of 6 of the 7 possible cop-siccers. The above-mentioned local legal org at first denied and then was ambiguous about their role in the incident. 2 of the others denied calling police, and the rest wouldn't answer or discuss my matter, to this file update.
I know damned well this is one of the most important, if not the biggest, civil rights scandals in U.S. history, although the Societal Powers figure that since they have all shut against only 1 (one) individual person, that they can make it not matter.
I consider suicide every day, but I'm staying alive for spite.
Disraely Hapend, an Earth-born female adult human woman.
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