Quotes
I hear lots of funny quotes and lots of serious quotes that hit home with me. I can't be expected to remember them all, so i thought this would be a good archive for quotes I like. Maybe they'll bring you a laugh or help you in your life. If you have one you'd like me to put on here e-mail it too me or leave it for me by signing my guestbook.
Ones that have a meaning....
Many a truth is said in jest.........girls don't chase nice guys, girls chase bad guys and try and turn them into nice guys.............what do you mean it's not personal? everything is personal, i'm a person aren't I?.........nothing is impossible, only things that are improbable.......life is what happens when you're making other plans........................tired of living life like a this moment is a prelude to something.................
Funny ones......
I"M BATMAN!!........she's so ugly she could jump start a vomit.........sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here...........(any Doc Holiday line from, TOMBSTONE)...........what do you mean it's not personal, everything is personal, i'm a person aren't I?.........why be good? I'm always good, what has it ever gotten me?..................my hand is a slut!..........don't make me get mid-evil on your ass.......i'll go BATMAN on your ass............
The Wisdom of the Two greatest Minds of all time.........Yoda and......Homer Simpson!
THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J. SIMPSON
> > "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for
Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."
> > "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to
listen."
> > "You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
> > "Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of
things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."
> > "If you really want something in life you have to work
for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
> > "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of
life's problems!"
> > "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed
around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"
> > "I want to share something with you - the three
sentences that will get you through life: Number one: 'Cover for me.' Number two: 'Oh, good idea,boss.' Number three: 'It was like that when I got here."
> > "Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart
as Yoda."
> > "Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my
specialty: 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"
> > "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, goodnight."
> > "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not
whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."
> > "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it
hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil
wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
> > "Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't go on
strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
> > "Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name?"
> > "We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took
you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?".
> > "Television - teacher, mother, secret lover!"
> >"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without
adding, 'you're making a scene.'"
THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF YODA
**When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.
**Wars not make one great.
**Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi Craves not these things.
**You must unlearn what you have learned.
**Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
**Luminous beings are we...not this crude matter.
**That is the way of things...the way of the force.
**A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind.
**Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will...
**Beware of the dark side. Anger...fear...agression...
**You must feel the force around you.
**Through the force, things you will see. Other places. The future...the past. Old friends long gone.
**Size matters not.
**If you choose the quick and easy path...you will become an agent of evil.
**Control, control. You must learn control.
**Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.