Purity Test
Instructions for Use:
This is a fairly long test consisting of five hundred
questions. It starts out tame and gets progressively worse
(or better, depending on your viewpoint). There are many
ways of going about taking this test. You can, of course,
as your right, guaranteed by the Constitution, be
anti-social and sequester yourself in your room and take
this test all by yourself; however, we feel that the
funnest way to utilize this test is to hold a Purity Test
Party. All you need is one copy of the test, and a bunch
of friends. (Lots of writing implements and paper would be
useful too.) The person with the copy of the test is the
test administrator; s/he readsd the questions out loud and
everybody else writes down their answers. We have no
definite rules as to whether the participants are required
to divulge their answers; that is up to the group to
decide.
However, each person's purity score should be made
common knowledge. (The person with the highest score gets
to be giggled at for the rest of his/her life.) This works
great at parties and lets everybody know who's easy and who
isn't, so you'll know who to go home with. Don't leave
home without it.
Section 1: Platonic Relations. 19 Questions.
Have you ever done any of the following:
1. kissed a friend or stranger on their hands or
their head/neck region as a friendly gesture?
2. held hands with someone?
3. had a date?
4. had a date past 1 a.m.?
5. dated someone on a regular basis?
6. picked someone up?
7. been picked up?
8. gone steady?
9. slow danced?
10. had the symptoms of Russian fingers (rushin'
fingers)?
11. had the symptoms of Roman hands (roamin' hands)?
12. shared a bed, sleeping bag, or sleeping
accommodations with someone without anything steamy
happening?
13. given a back or neck rub or massage with no
ulterior motive?
14. used tickling as a pick-up,
get-to-know-you-better routine?
15. directly asked someone whom you were not going
out with and had never gone out with if they were a virgin?
16. used physical strength, physical power, or any
physical prowess, or prowesslessness as a factor in
pick-up, get-to-know-you-better routine?
17. secretly lusted after someone without that
person knowing?
18. dropped subtle hints to someone whom you
liked/loved/wanted, hoping that they would pick up on it?
19. written anonymous "love letters" to someone
(secret admirer, etc. That is, dropped some not-so-subtle
hints).
Section 2: Auto-erotica and Mono-sexualism. 51
Questions.
Although this section is termed Auto-erotica and
mono-sexualism, the events herein still count even if you
are with someone else at the time. It was so named because
these activities, like the harp, (and the porcelain
goddess) are predominantly solo events.
Have you ever done the following:
20. had an arousing dream? (Wet dreams and the
like.)
21. been sexually aroused?
22. uttered/muttered/yelled/screamed (or in other
words verbally expressed) obscenities?
23. fantasized about your long-term instructor,
mentor, or someone who is superior to you? (One day
skydiving teachers, two hour ski instructors, and the like
do not count.)
24. fantasized about your lawyer, doctor, nurse,
psychiatrist or someone with whom you are having a
professional relationship?
25. fantasized about someone you know personally but
not closely?
26. fantasized about anyone and masturbated at the
same time?
27. read or bought pornographic periodicals?
28. ever had a subscription to pornographic
periodicals?
29. read sexually explicit literature?
30. gone skinny dipping alone?
31. made obscene phone calls?
32. phoned up any recorded phone sex numbers? (e.g.
(212)976-2626, (212)976-2727, (212)976-2828, etc. Please
note that these are fifty cent calls in addition to toll
charges and long distance charges.)
33. phoned up any live phone sex numbers?
34. stuffed your bra if you are female, or stuffed
your pants if you are male?
35. shaved your genital pubic hair?
36. shaved your genital pubic hair on a fairly
regular basis?
37. colored or bleached your genital pubic hair?
38. shaved or shaped your genital pubic hair in a
particular design? (moons, hearts, diamonds, clovers, etc.)
39. masturbated?
40. masturbated at least five times in one
twenty-four hour period?
41. masturbated on a fairly regular basis of no less
than once a fortnight?
42. masturbated where you could have been
discovered? (In a crowd, in public, city parks,
gym/dorm/barrack showers, movie theater, etc.)
43. masturbated out in the wilds or in nature with
no nearby civilization?
44. masturbated to orgasm?
45. masturbated while reading either pornographic or
sexually explicit materials?
46. masturbated while driving a *moving* land
vehicle? (Car, RV, truck, motorcycle, hearse, etc.)
47. masturbated while on the phone? (No kinky
interpretations of "on the phone". This is legit.)
48. masturbated while in a bathroom of the opposite
sex?
49. masturbated while watching an R or X-rated show?
50. seen any burlesque show? (Rocky Horror counts)
51. been to a peep show?
52. been to a private showing of a pornographic
movie?
53. seen a pornographic movie in a theater?
54. walked around in your
room/apartment/house/habitation in the nude? (Must be a
serious walk; five minutes of going around trying to find
your undies after a shower doesn't count.)
55. walked around in a public or semi-public area
with a top (shirt, T-shirt, etc) but no bottoms (pants,
shorts, etc)? (Dorm hallways, lobby areas, etc. are
acceptable; however locker rooms, bathrooms and such places
where this behavior is acceptable do not count.)
56. bought blatant sexual objects? (This means that
if you buy a bottle of Coke and you use it as a dildo, it
doesn't count. Think design and function.)
57. owned any erotic art pieces? (Like that phallic
symbol in the cat woman scene in "A Clockwork Orange.")
58. written down your own stories or fantasies for
masturbatory purposes? (Your own custom-made Penthouse
Forum [tm])
59. sculpted erotic/obscene artworks in food
(bananas, carrots, apples...)?
60. eaten any erotic food items? (Chocolate tits,
banana dicks, etc.)
61. sculpted erotic/obscene artworks in soap, wood,
or any other carvable material that isn't food?
62. made an X- or R-rated snowman or snowwoman?
63. tasted your own orgasmic liquids?
64. inserted your finger into your rectum?
65. used ben-wa balls or anal beads? (ben-wa balls:
a pair of small, usually metal, balls which are placed in
the vagina or anus and are supposed to feel good as they
move around. Anal beads: a string of beads inserted into
the anus which is supposed to feel good as it is pulled
out.)
66. performed oral sex on yourself? (Yes, this is
possible for most males, and even for some females.)
67. willingly urinated on the garments that you were
wearing at the time? (In other words: piss in your pants;
wet yourself; had an accident.)
68. willingly urinated on any part of your body?
69. willingly defecated on the garments that you
were wearing at the time? (In other words: shit in your
pants; had a serious accident.)
70. willingly defecated on yourself?
Section 3: Legislative Misfits and Other Ethical
Matters. 61 Questions.
Have you ever done any of the following:
71. administered a whole Purity Test or are in the
process of administering a whole Purity Test of any
version? (That's where you are the test administrator in a
Purity Test Party. See "Instructions for Use" for further
information.)
72. taken Purity Tests of any versions more than 5
times?
73. lied on any previous Purity Tests?
74. exaggerated about any sexual experiences?
75. gone to (or escorted someone to) a Planned
Parenthood Clinic? (for an exam, to obtain birth control
pills, diaphragm, etc.)
76. broken your word, promise, or vow?
77. lied to someone at someone else's request?
78. lied about your sexual preference in order to
avoid a date?
79. written graffitti?
80. plagiarized?
81. shoplifted?
82. stolen?
83. made out a check that bounced?
84. used someone else's credit card without their
knowledge and/or consent?
85. committed breaking and entering?
86. seen a snuff film?
87. read someone else's diary without their
knowledge and/or consent?
88. searched someone's room without their knowledge
and/or consent?
89. told someone that you loved them when you did
not?
90. told someone that you loved them strictly
because you wanted to have sex with them?
91. fantasized about someone else other than your
partner while you were engaged in sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation?
92. intentionally listened in on other people having
sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation without their knowing
it?
93. used alcohol to lower someone else's inhibitions
for the purpose of sex or oral sex?
94. used drugs to lower someone else's inhibitions
for the purpose of sex or oral sex?
95. drugged someone without their knowledge and/or
consent? (hash brownies and the like.)
96. forced or coerced someone into having intimate
physical relations with you?
97. had dates with more than one person in the same
night while one or more of the people involved were NOT
aware of your actions?
98. gone steady with two or more people at the same
time while one or more of the people involved were NOT
aware of what you were doing?
99. gone steady with two or more people at the same
time while all of them WERE aware you were doing it?
100. urinated on someone else intentionally? (Piss
fights!)
101. urinated in cup, bottle, pitcher or any such
receptacle that was not originally designed for such
purpose? Urinalysis incidents don't count.
102. urinated anywhere other than a bathroom,
outhouse, tree, bush or any commonly accepted piss hole?
(in the kitchen sink, in the glove compartment of the
family car...)
103. urinated from higher than the fifth floor, or
equivalent height, above ground level, out of a building or
off a bridge or any such permanent structure (e.g. the
Grand Canyon)?
104. defecated anywhere other than a bathroom,
outhouse or any commonly accepted shit hole?
(Camping/hiking trips in which bathroom/outhouse
access are nil do not count.)
105. stored any excretia in a refrigerator, oven, or
any food storage/preparation appliance?
106. stored evacuated excretia anywhere else in your
room, apartment, house, habitation, office, etc?
107. entered a bathroom of the opposite sex,
unaccompanied by someone of the opposite sex, while not
involved in a search and/or rescue mission?
108. mooned or flashed someone from the front?
109. farted (audibly) in mixed company?
110. streaked, flashed, or otherwise exposed pretty
much totally yourself in public before an informal,
unofficial gathering of people?
111. streaked, flashed, or otherwise exposed pretty
much totally yourself in public before a formal (official)
gathering ofpeople? (Such as a function, stage performance,
charity dinner, etc.)
112. been arrested? (Picture taken and all that
wonderful, free stuff.)
113. received money or some favor to have sex, oral
sex, or mutual masturbation with someone?
114. given money or some favor to have sex, oral sex,
or mutual masturbation with someone?
115. thought you might be, or might have caused
someone else to be, unintentionally pregnant?
116. bought a home pregnancy test?
117. bought condoms?
118. borrowed/stolen/taken birth control devices from
your or someone else's parents? (Condoms, spermicidal
foam, diaphragms, chastity belt)
119. had, or given someone, an unwanted pregnancy?
120. lied about being pregnant or about having made
someone pregnant?
121. had sex while either you or your partner, but
not both, were under the legal age of consent of the state
in which you were having sex?
122. thought you had VD?
123. had VD of any sort (VD, STD's, i.e. the clap,
crabs, herpes, etc.)
124. had an AIDS test due to reasonable suspicion or
hyperactive imagination?
125. given a sympathy fuck?
126. initiated sex with someone for the sake of sex
only?
127. willingly committed incest?
128. committed adultery? (you need not have been the
one who was married to get this point.)
129. bought lingerie/undergarments of the opposite
sex?
130. stolen the underwear of someone you knew, for a
purpose other than that of a practical joke or to just ire
the person? (A bunch of guys invading the women's dorm on a
mission of panty raids does not count.)
131. intentionally taken someone's underwear and
didn't know who it belonged to?
Section 4: Drugs. 43 Questions.
Have you ever done any of the following:
132. had an alcoholic drink?
133. been intoxicated?
134. thrown up from having drunk too much alcohol?
135. passed out due to having drunk too much alcohol?
136. forgotten events that occurred while you were
drunk?
137. smoked tobacco? (cigarette, pipe, cigar,
hookah)
138. chewed tobacco? (snuff)
139. bought controlled/illicit drugs, or any compound
scheduled by the DEA, in violation of the law?
140. sold or re-sold controlled/illicit substances,
or any compound scheduled by the DEA, in violation of the
law?
141. taken stimulants?
142. taken depressants excluding alcohol?
143. inhaled nitrous oxide while not visiting a
dentist?
144. inhaled anything containing butyl nitrate?
145. used a commercial aphrodisiac? (Spanish Fly,
Magic Love Drops, powdered rhino horn, etc.)
146. taken valium?
147. smoked marijuana/sensemilia?
148. smoked marijuana/sensemilia more than four
times?
149. eaten marijuana/sensemilia?
150. eaten marijuana or sensemilia more than four
times?
151. taken opiate in any form?
152. taken opiate in any form more than twice?
153. used cocaine?
154. used cocaine more than four times?
155. injected any drugs into your body for any other
purpose other than medical?
156. injected any one drug into your body for any
purpose other than medical more than twice?
157. taken Ecstasy/X?
158. taken PCP?
159. taken PCP more than twice?
160. taken d-lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD-25),
peyote, or psilocybin?
161. taken LSD, peyote, or psilocybin more than
twice?
162. taken LSD more than six times?
163. deliberately injured yourself so as to obtain
medication?
164. played any games in which there was a mystery as
to who would be getting drugs and who wouldn't, yet
everybody plays in it? (e.g. "Who's got the pill", where
half the cups (of soda) have LSD in them and the other half
don't, and everybody picks a cup and drinks it and wonders
who gets lucky.)
165. gone to class or work while under the influence
of drugs? (alcohol counts)
166. mixed drugs? (alcohol counts. Mixed meaning
being under the influence of two or more drugs at once.)
167. sold possessions in order to obtain drugs?
168. had sex while under the influence of nitrous?
169. had an orgasm while under the influence of
nitrous? (difficult because of timing)
170. had sex while under the influence of cocaine?
171. had sex while under the influence of
marijuana/sensemilia?
172. had sex while under the influence of Ecstasy/X?
173. had sex while under the influence of LSD,
peyote, or psilocybin?
174. had sex while under the influence of drugs with
a partner who did not realize you were on them?
Section 5: Non Platonic Relations. 63 Questions.
Have you done any of the following:
175. propositioned someone for necking or petting?
(petting is defined as any caressing, patting, stroking or
fondling.)
176. propositioned someone for sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation?
177. pinched or patted someone else's buttocks?
178. french kissed?
179. been kissed below the neck but not including
arms or hands?
180. kissed someone else below the neck but not
including arms or hands?
181. necked?
182. petted above the waist?
183. petted below the waist?
184. kissed on the first date?
185. necked on the first date?
186. petted above the waist on the first date?
187. petted below the waist on the first date?
188. given a hickey?
189. received a hickey?
190. worn specific clothes for the purpose of hiding
hickeys? (i.e., turtlenecks)
191. fondled or stroked someone else's clothed legs?
192. fondled or stroked someone else's bare legs?
193. fondled or stroked someone else's frontal
chest/torso region?
194. had your frontal chest/torso region fondled or
stroked?
195. been involved with pelvic thrusting while fully
clothed?
196. had your fingers licked or sucked?
197. had your ear or ear region licked, breathed
upon, sucked, or nibbled?
198. licked, breathed onto, sucked, or nibbled an ear
or ear region?
199. licked or sucked someone else's finger(s)?
200. fondled someone who was asleep?
201. given a back massage with ulterior motives?
202. given a back massage that led to something
steamier?
203. seen someone else completely nude when that
person was under good lighting conditions?
204. been seen completely nude by someone else under
good lighting conditions?
205. been in someone's company while both of you were
completely nude?
206. bathed or showered with someone?
207. let someone else wash you while you were
perfectly capable of doing it yourself. (This means that
if you were in the hospital with two broken arms and the
nurse washed you, it doesn't count, no matter how cute s/he
was.)
208. gone skinny dipping in mixed company?
209. been involved with the stroking or fondling of a
woman's clothed breast (as either possessor or fondler of
the breast)?
210. been involved with the stroking or fondling of a
woman's bare breast (as either possessor or fondler of the
breast)?
211. licked, sucked, or nibbled on someone else's
nipple?
212. had your nipple licked, sucked, or nibbled upon?
213. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled
someone else's covered genitals?
214. had your covered genitals petted, stroked,
fondled, or otherwise handled?
215. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled
someone else's bare genitals?
216. had your bare genitals petted, stroked, fondled,
or otherwise handled?
217. had an orgasm while petting?
218. given your partner an orgasm while petting?
219. given finger scratch marks?
220. received finger scratch marks?
221. drawn blood by scratching during sex?
222. drawn blood by biting during sex? (hickeys do
not count as having drawn blood)
223. given or received *scars* from scratches or
bites made during sex?
224. performed oral sex?
225. received oral sex?
226. swallowed semen, or licked female liquids off of
fingers?
227. done sixty-nine ?
228. performed mutual masturbation?
229. had sex? (No need for orgasm; penetration
counts.)
230. had sex on the first date?
231. had sex without the use of birth control
devices? (Use of the rhythm, prayer, and hope methods
counts as "without the use of birth control devices".)
232. had sex with a virgin? (Not yourself.)
233. had sex with someone whose name you did not
know? (and *still* don't know)
234. had sex with someone whose face you never saw?
235. had sex with someone where there was an age
difference of more than 20 years?
236. had sex with someone not of your own race?
237. had sex with a religious officiary? (Priest,
nun, mother-superior, cardinal, pope, deity, etc.)
Section 6: Non Primary Choice Relations. 39
questions.
Have you ever done any of the following:
238. held hands or otherwise displayed public
affection?
239. kissed someone on the lips?
240. french kissed someone?
241. necked?
242. petted?
243. received manual sex?
244. given manual sex?
245. received oral sex?
246. given oral sex?
247. had sex?
248. had sex with a virgin? (not yourself.)
249. had sex with someone when there was an age
difference of more than 20 years?
250. had anal sex? (The use of fingers or any
phallic objects in this case would also count.)
251. been involved in fist-fucking?
252. done 69? (simultaneous oral sex.)
253. propositioned someone for sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation?
254. yielded willingly to a proposition from someone
for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
255. had sex with someone whose name you didn't know?
(and still don't know.)
256. had sex with someone whose face you never saw?
257. been a participant in a
who's-physically-better-equipped verification contest?
(Contestants must be of same gender; spectators, judges,
umpires, and verifiers may be of different gender.)
258. been a judge in a contest such as above?
259. gave money or favors for sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation?
260. received money or favors for sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation?
261. fondled someone who was asleep?
262. attempted to seduce someone?
263. allowed yourself to be seduced?
264. had an orgasm while petting?
265. gave your partner an orgasm while petting?
266. had an orgasm at all?
267. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation with
more than 10 people?
268. stroked or fondled the clothed legs of someone?
269. stroked or fondled the bare legs of someone?
270. stroked or fondled the clothed chest/torso
region of someone?
271. stroked or fondled the bare chest/torso region
of someone?
272. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the
clothed genitals of someone else?
273. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the bare
genitals of someone else?
274. had sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation with
someone not of your own race?
275. been in a menage-a-trois of people of the same
sex?
276. been involved in group sex, with all
participants of the same sex? (4 or more people, partners
must be exchanged.)
Section 7: Alternate Choices. 26 questions.
For any of the questions in this section, a yes
answer is in order if it is something that you do as an
alternative to other sexual gratifications or as an aid
and/or in conjunction with other means of sexual
gratification.
In other words, have you done it in a serious basis?
Trying it a few times to see what it's like does not count.
Have you ever done any of the following:
277. been decidedly heterosexual?
278. been decidedly homosexual?
279. been decidedly bisexual?
280. practiced bestiality (avec les animaux)?
281. practiced transvesticism?
282. practiced sadism ?
283. practiced masochism ?
284. practiced bondage?
285. practiced domination?
286. practiced submission?
287. practiced sodomy (anal intercourse)?
288. practiced cocrophilia (a marked interest in
excrement; esp. the use of feces or filth for sexual
excitement)?
289. practiced frotteurism (masturbation by rubbing
against another's person or the need to rub against another
stranger)?
290. practiced infantilism (a dependency on the sight
or feeling of diapers or of being diapered; a dependency on
being dressed and treated as a baby)?
291. practiced klismaphilia (a dependency on being
given an enema)?
292. practiced necrophilia (copulation with a
corpse)?
293. practiced mysophilia (a dependency on something
soiled or filthy, such as sweaty underwear or used
menstrual pads)?
294. practiced scoptophilia (a dependency on looking
at sexual organs and watching sexual activity openly, not
surreptitiously, as in voyeurism)?
295. practiced urophilia (being dependently
responsive to the smell or taste of urine or the sight and
sound of someone urinating)?
296. practiced role-playing (nurse-patient,
teacher-student, border guard-well endowed co-ed, etc.)?
297. owned an underwear collection of underwear not
belonging to you?
298. been a foot fetishist to any degree?
299. been a leather fetishist to any degree?
300. been a rubber/latex fetishist to any degree?
301. been a voyeur?
302. been an exhibitionist?
Section 8: Group Sexual Relations. 27 questions.
This section relates to what you have or have
not done. Accordingly, the group of people of which we are
speaking are of both genders. In questions where groups of
people are concerned, there must be at least one person in
the group who is of the opposite gender.
Have you ever done any of the following:
303. listened to dirty jokes in mixed company?
304. told dirty jokes in mixed company?
305. discussed masturbation? (Bringing up the topic
of masturbation during Purity Testing does not cut it as
discussing masturbation.)
306. watched a porn movie in mixed company?
307. watched a porn movie with your own or someone
else's parents?
308. played a game which may require you or others to
disrobe?
309. played a game which may require you or others to
perform an action on another participant?
310. been in intimate contact with more than one
person at the same time while all of you were nude?
311. had oral sex with more than 10 people? (not
necessarily at one time)
312. had sex with more than 10 people? (not
necessarily at one time)
313. had sex with more than 1 person in a 24 hour
period?
314. had sex with both genders in a 24 hour period?
315. been in a menage-a-trois with at least one
member of the opposite sex?
316. walked in on others having sex (committed an
"oops") and then joined in?
317. had sex or oral sex with a person and his/her
parent? (not necessarily at the same time.)
318. had sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, necking,
or petting with a person and his/her sibling? (not
necessarily at the same time.)
319. been involved in a two (or more) in one? (oral
& anal or vaginal & anal counts. But no fingers - we're
talking the real thing here.)
320. been involved in a gang bang? (Step right up;
come and get it while it's hot.)
321. been in a circle of fuck?
322. been in a 69 circle?
323. been to a (cooking, baby, Wesson) oil party?
324. played naked Twister [tm] (with or without oil)?
325. participated in a heterosexual orgy or been
involved in group sex? (Four people or more; partners must
be exchanged.)
326. participated in a bisexual orgy or group sex?
(Four people or more; partners must be exchanged.)
327. propositioned a person or group of people for
group sex?
328. been propositioned for group sex?
329. participated in a fuck-a-thon? (Where the
object is to see how many times you can do it in a certain
amount of time.)
Section 9: Non sentient objects. 62 questions.
This section measures your kinkiness.
Therefore, the questions apply to actions and events which
occurred while you were alone, as well as those which
occurred while you were with someone else.
Have you ever done any of the following:
330. used a bowling pin, Coke bottle, or something
along those general shapes for masturbatory or sexual
purposes?
331. masturbated using the aid of food?
332. eaten the food used in masturbation after
masturbation?
333. eaten a lab dissection?
334. inserted food into your or someone else's anus?
335. eaten food after it was extracted/evacuated from
your or someone else's anus?
336. received an enema for a purpose other than
medical?
337. received an enema consisting on a non-normal
enema solution (wine, beer, urine, windex)?
338. actually measured your own or someone else's
penis? (i.e., actually grabbed a ruler, yardstick, tape
measure, etc.)
339. used a mechanical hand-holdable device in aiding
or replacing masturbation? (Vibrator, massager,
Dustbuster(tm), vacuum cleaner, etc.)
340. used a feather or any other tickling device for
the purpose of tickling?
341. used tickling as a form of *arousal*?
342. used ice for sexual purposes?
343. used ice for something frozen as a dildo? (ice
cubes don't count here - icicles, popsicles, and the like.
penetration.)
344. used a strap-on dildo or male extension sheath?
345. used whipped cream for sexual purposes?
346. used hot/melted wax for sexual purposes?
347. had sex in front of or under a mirror?
348. put food, gravy, syrup, salad dressing, candy,
peanut butter, honey or anything else edible on your
partner's body, and then eaten it?
349. used household syrup, sandwich spreading, oil,
salad dressing, or any like substance for sexual purposes?
350. used ropes, chains, cuffs or any other such
device for bondage purposes?
351. used a whip, chain, cat-o-nine-tails, or
something similar for pain?
352. worn edible underwear/lingerie?
353. eaten edible underwear/lingerie off of someone?
354. worn a leather/grore suit?
355. worn diapers for a sexual or masturbatory
purpose?
356. been diapered by someone else for a sexual or
masturbatory purpose?
357. used a ball gag or other manufactured gag?
358. worn a collar and/or leash?
359. been completely tied down (spreadeagled,
hogtied, etc.)?
360. tied someone down completely?
361. had sex while you or your partner was tied up?
362. used nipple clips (clothespins count)?
363. pierced a part of your body other than your ears
or nose (nipples, labia, head of penis)?
364. found a prepubescent child sexually
attractive/arousing?
365. had sexual contact of any kind with a
prepubescent child?
366. used an inflatable doll?
367. humped an inanimate object like a pillow,
(dinner) liver, hole in the wall, sausage, banana, etc?
368. had sex or oral sex with a dead person?
369. inserted a small animal or creature into your
rectum? (Either alive or dead.)
370. had sex or oral sex with your (dead) dinner
animal?
371. watched animals having sex?
372. been aroused by the sight of animals having sex?
373. attempted to have sex, oral sex, or (mutual)
masturbation with a live animal, but failed?
374. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with
a smallish animal? (Dog, cat, rabbit, lab rat, gerbil,
etc.)
375. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with
a domesticated farm animal? (Cow, pig, chicken, sheep,
etc.)
376. mutilated or killed any living animal or
creature for your pleasures?
[The following three questions differ from those above
in that ones above measure your variation in animal
choice, and the questions down here measure what you did
with the animals.]
377. had sex with a live animal? (Any size.)
378. received oral sex from a live animal? (Any
size.)
379. gave oral sex to a live animal? (Any size.)
380. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with
a single type animal more than once? (Alive or dead.)
381. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with
an animal in the presence of 1 or more other people?
382. cross dressed in the *undergarments* of the
opposite sex for a sexual purpose? (This means that school
plays, initiations, and the like don't count.)
383. cross dressed in the *undergarments* of the
opposite sex for a sexual purpose in the presence of 1 or
more other people? (Plays and the like still don't count -
this is for a sexual purpose).
384. stuffed your pants or bra while you were
cross-dressed for your sexual purpose?
385. had your head inserted into a urinal or toilet
bowl willingly? (Doing this in a pristine, show-room model
does not count.)
386. worn groinal underwear on your head? (Panties,
jock-strap, etc.)
387. eaten, sucked, licked, nibbled, or otherwise
inserted a used, unwashed piece of groinal underwear into
your mouth while said underwear was not being worn at the
time?
388. deliberately sniffed or smelled a used, unwashed
piece of groinal underwear while it was not being worn at
the time?
389. been gagged with someone's underwear? (not your
own)
390. played in or with shit?
391. worn or used a condom or any feminine hygiene
contraption that has already been used by someone else?
Section 10: Locality. 33 questions.
This section tries to figure out how many places
you have done it. It applies only to those situations in
which you were with someone else.
Have you ever done any of the following:
392. necked or petted in a place of religion?
(Church, temple, altar, Grand Holy Cabbage Head Patch,
etc.)
393. had sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual
masturbation in a place of religion?
394. necked or petted in a place of the dead?
(Morgue, mortuary, cemetery, etc.)
395. had sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual
masturbation in a place of the dead?
396. necked or petted in a contraption of the dead?
(Coffin, hearse, body bag, etc.)
397. had sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual
masturbation in a contraption of the dead?
398. had sex in/on a construction site (house,
office, launch platform, etc.)?
399. necked or petted in a moderately sized,
land/road-based vehicle of LESS THAN 30,000 pounds net
unladen gross weight? (car, station wagon, van, minivan,
minibus, fuckmobile, etc.)
400. had sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual
masturbation in a moderately sized, land/road-based vehicle
of LESS THAN 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight?
401. necked or petted in a land/road-based vehicle of
MORE THAN 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? (truck,
tank, armored car, steam-roller, crane, bulldozer, garbage
truck, etc.)
402. had sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual
masturbation in a land/road-based vehicle of MORE THAN
30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight?
403. had sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual
masturbation in a land-based, non road dependant vehicle?
(Train, subway, roller-coaster, monorail, Disneyland ride,
etc.)
404. necked, petted, masturbated, been masturbated,
or had sex or oral sex in a water based, manual powered
vehicular transport medium? (Rowboat, surfboard, floating
bathtub, etc.) (For this question it only counts if the
thing was in the water at the time.)
405. necked, petted, masturbated, been masturbated,
or had sex or oral sex in a water based, wind or propeller
driven transport medium LESS THAN 80 feet in length?
(Yacht, PT boat, windsurfer, Sunfish, etc.)
406. necked, petted, masturbated, been masturbated,
or had sex or oral sex in a water based, wind or propeller
driven transport medium MORE THAN 80 feet in length?
(Cruise ship, battleship, aircraft carrier, nuclear
submarine, etc.)
407. necked, petted, masturbated, been masturbated,
or had sex or oral sex in an aircraft? (Airplane,
helicopter, hovercraft,balloon, zeppelin, space shuttle,
flying carpet, flying saucer, etc.)
408. had sex in a household room other than a
bedroom?
409. had sex on the floor (but not the roof)?
410. had sex on any furniture that is indoors but is
not a bed, table, desk, counter-top, a nor anything that is
predominantly used for sitting or as a table/desk?
(Television, washer/dryer, microwave, etc.)
411. had sex, participated in oral sex, or
participated in mutual masturbation in a telephone booth,
voting booth, automatic photograph taker, or any such
small, non-moving enclosure that was not designed for such
activities?
412. had sex, participated in oral sex, or
participated in mutual masturbation in an elevator,
people-mover, escalator, dumbwaiter, or any
building-internal people moving device?
413. had sex, participated in oral sex, or
participated in mutual masturbation up a tree but not in a
tree house or similar structure?
414. had sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation in a
suspension device of some kind (hammock, trampoline,
tightrope, safety net, etc.)?
415. had sex, participated in oral sex, or
participated in mutual masturbation on the roof of a
building in excess of 5 floors?
416. had sex, participated in oral sex, or
participated in mutual masturbation inside or within the
confines of a hedge, bush, other natural vegetation which
can provide a wall effect, cave, rock overhang, in a well,
or any other secluded, outdoor, non-vegetative shielding
structure?
417. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in the
snow? (Spring thaw is acceptable.)
418. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a
place where the prevailing, ambient temperature (of the air
immediately surrounding you) was below the freezing point
of water?
419. had sex, participated in oral sex, or
participated in mutual masturbation in a place where you
could have been discovered?
420. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a
water-filled bathtub, hot tub, or under a shower or other
running water (waterfall, torrential downpour, monsoon,
etc.)?
421. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a
body of water? (swimming pool, swimming hole, pond, lake,
lagoon, sea, ocean, etc.)
422. had sex on the beach (and the resultant sand in
uncomfortable places)?
423. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a
bathroom of the opposite sex?
424. gone to a motel (however sleazy) for the sole
purpose of having sex?
Section 11: Style. 76 questions.
Have you ever done any of the following:
425. watched while someone else masturbated?
426. been watched while masturbating?
427. orgasmed on somebody?
428. orgasmed in somebody if you are male, or had
someone orgasm in you if you are female?
429. had more than one person orgasm on you at once,
or been one of several people orgasming on someone else?
430. been involved in the use of a penis as a leash
or bludgeoning device?
431. been involved in oxygen deprivation for sexual
enhancement? (Nitrous oxide does not count.)
432. willingly made video tapes or had pictures taken
while having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
433. physically watched others having sex?
434. watched your partner of choice having sex, oral
sex, or mutual masturbation with someone else?
435. taken pictures or made video tapes of your
partner of choice having sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation with someone else?
436. willingly made audio recordings while having
sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
437. talked dirty while having sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation?
438. intentionally made more noise than necessary
while having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation so as to
put on a good show for whoever might have been listening
in?
439. intentionally made "animal" noises during sex?
440. had a pet or domesticated animal walk over you
or your partner while you were involved in sex or oral sex?
441. had a general emergency arise while you were
steeped in sex? (House on fire, flash flood, hurricane,
private plane crash lands in your dwelling, etc.)
442. had your sexual technique/style/skill openly
praised by someone?
443. taken nude pictures of someone else?
444. had nude pictures of you taken?
445. placed a personal ad?
446. answered a personal ad?
447. been involved in breast fucking? (aka "The
Hawaiian Muscle Fuck")
448. participated in fist-fucking? (see "Caligula")
449. shaved someone's genital pubic hair (or had
yours shaved) as part of a sexual activity?
450. had sex for more than three hours in a single
session of sex?
451. been bruised during sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation? (hickies do not count.)
452. bruised someone else during sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation?
453. been injured during sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation?
454. orgasmed more than three times in one session of
sex?
455. had sex so many times or for so long that one or
both people involved runs dry?
456. disturbed other people by making excessive noise
while having sex?
457. had sex or mutual masturbation or received oral
sex while you were driving (the car or boat or whatever
vehicle)?
458. had sex doggie fashion?
459. had sex in the female superior position?
460. had sex sitting up?
461. had sex standing up?
462. had sex upside-down?
463. gone through two or more sexual positions
without the need for re-entry?
464. fallen asleep during sex?
465. woken up to someone having sex with you?
466. had sex while one person was passed out or
unconscious?
467. given or received a hickey on your upper inner
thigh?
468. been on the receiving of anal sex?
469. been on the ramming end of anal sex (a dildo
counts)?
470. had sex more than 10 times with 1 person?
471. had sex more than 5 times in a 24 hour period?
472. had sex more than 10 times in a 24 hour period?
473. had sex, participated in oral sex, or
participated in masturbation while someone other than your
partner was watching?
474. had sex or oral sex while one or both of you
were playing a musical instrument, hacked, watched
television, read, drawn or in other words were preoccupied
with something other than sex and lust?
475. performed oral sex after intercourse without
washing or douching?
476. kissed your partner on the lips after oral sex
without brushing teeth, nor washing/gargling/rinsing out
mouth?
477. inflicted pain during sex?
478. been involved in cunnilingus during the woman's
period?
479. had sex during the woman's period?
480. foot masturbated someone?
481. been foot masturbated?
482. tongue bathed someone?
483. been tongue bathed?
484. licked or sucked on someone else's feet and/or
toes?
485. had your feet and/or toes licked or sucked by
someone else?
486. licked someone's anus?
487. licked someone's anus while they were
defecating?
488. performed oral sex while the person was
urinating?
489. drank your own urine?
490. tasted or drank someone else's urine?
491. drank/drained an entire bladder-full of someone
else's urine?
492. drank human blood?
493. tasted someone else's nasal mucous?
494. been involved in a golden shower?
495. swallowed your partner's orgasmic secretions?
496. used the Purity Test as a checklist of things
you could do?
497. ever done something for the sole purpose of
lowering your Purity Test score?
498. bought/read books to enhance sexual technique?
499. participated in Purity Testing with an ulterior
motive?
500. become interested in someone only after hearing
about their Purity Test score?
I. Scoring
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a
sheet of paper containing lots of itty-bitty answers to the
Purity Test. Sworn to excellence of workmanship, we now
give you directions on how to calculate your Purity score.
There are several methods; the calculator method works
best. Also there is the a la mainframe method.
Scoring method: Count "yes" answers.
Subtract that number from 500.
Divide the result by 5.
The result is your percentage purity.
The higher the number, the more pure you are; in the
same vein, the lower the score, the more of a sleaze-bag
you are.
For your reference, we include calculator directions:
<# of NO answers> / 5 =
***Not recommended for children under twelve.
Parental guidance discouraged and frowned upon. Pencils,
additional paper, and batteries not included.
Some assembly may be required. Does not come with any
other figures.
