More of Murphy's Laws

 *  A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

 *  A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

 *  A free agent is anything but.

 *  As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline re-encounters
    turbulence.

 *  Exceptions always outnumber rules.

 *  Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.

 *  Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 *  For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

 *  He who hesitates is probably right.

 *  If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 *  If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by  statistical
    methods.

 *  If it says "one size fits all," it dosen't fit anyone.

 *  If only one price can be obtained for a quotation, the price will be
    unreasonable.

 *  If somthing is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.

 *  Interchangable parts won't.

 *  Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

 *  Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three
    weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

 *  Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good
    price.

 *  Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

 *  No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in
    session.

 *  No matter which way you go, it's uphill and against the wind.

 *  No one is listening until you make a mistake.

 *  One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.

 *  People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of
    them being made.

 *  Progress is made on alternative Fridays.

 *  Quality assurance dosen't.

 *  Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

 *  The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

 *  The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.

 *  The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

 *  The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the
     butter.

 *  The hidden flaw never remains hidden.

 *  The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.

 *  The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.

 *  The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

 *  The one item you want is never the one on sale.

 *  The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

 *  The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your
    keys.

 *  The tough part of a Data Processing Manager's job is that users don't
     really know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.

 *  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
     research

 *  To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your
    principles.

 *  Trust everybody ... then cut the cards.

 *  Two wrongs are only the beginning.

 *  When reviewing your notes for a test, the most important ones will be
    illegible.

 *  When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two
    weeks to clear.  When there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.

 *  When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby,
    while all other coins will roll out of sight.

 *  Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of
    incompetence.

 *  You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

 *  You never want the one you can afford.