"The Guide to Being Dumped."

          What they say                                               Translation
  
"I'm not ready for that  type of                 "I don't want to date you; 
 commitment"                                         however, you can take me out to dinner
                                                            and a movie every once and a while.  
                                                            Just don't hang around me so much that you 
                                                            scare away the people I really want to date."

"God doesn't want me to                         (There are two.)
date right now."                                     "I don't know why I said yes in the first place"
                                                            "God doesn't want me to date someone as 
                                                            ugly as you right now."

"I only date older men/ women."              "I only date men/women who have more 
                                                            money than you do."

"You just are not my type."                      "When I look at you, and think of kissing 
                                                            you I want to vomit."

"You're too good for me."                        "I'm too good for you."

"We're too close of friends" /                   "I like you a lot but I'm just not into 
"You're too much like a brother/sister."     sleeping with a  sibling"

"You'll always have a special                    "My lawyer will contact you soon about 
place in my heart"                                    the restraining order."

"I think we should date other people."       "I'm already dating other people"

"I just don't have the time to                     "You do realize that I've been 
date anyone."                                         avoiding you all year?"

"Maybe in a while"                                  "Not even if you were the last 
                                                             man/woman on Earth."