Bumper Stickers

"Hope" ain't in Arkansas It's in 1996
"I can not tell a lie" -- Washington   He can't tell the truth --Clinton
90% of people are made by accident.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A Democrat and your taxes Are both soon wasted 
A dirty mind is, well, a wonderful thing.
A good girl is good, but I'm even better!
A hard man is good to find.
A kiss is an upper persuasion for lower invasion.
A little honey is good for your health - pick me up at 8:00?
A little less talk and a lot more action.
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
Ahhhh....good to the last drop!
Ain't goin' down 'till the sun comes up!
All I need is some peace and quiet. If I got a piece I'd be
All I want to do is massage your back - TRUST me...
All ya gotta do is just gimme that wink.
America Held Hostage 1993-1997
An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth.
Are you going to cum quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
Are you wearing a condom?
Assassins do it from behind!
At last! I finally found the perfect man!
Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Baby, I'm your's!
Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus.
Bee Healthy - Eat your Honey!
Beer isn't just for breakfast any more.
Bill and Al's Big Adventure
Carlsbad Caverns: 22 percent more cavities.
Clinton doesn't inhale.... he SUCKS!
Come closer and tell me about it.
Cover me.... I'm changing lanes...
Cowgirls like to ride bareback.
Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it
Cute and definitely huggable...YES, me!
Cute and definitely huggable...YES, you!
Cuz when the night falls, you make me forget.
Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing
Daddy Farted, and we Can't get out!!!
Dancers do it on the floor.
Dancers do it to music.
Dancers do it with rhythm.
Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man?
Die Yuppie Scum.
Do it only with the best.
Do it to me one more time...
Do you think you could drive any better with that car phone stuck up your butt?
Dogs come when called. *I* need more DIRECT stimulation!
Don't blame me I didn't vote for Hillary
Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus.
Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle
Don't like my driving.... dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT
Don't steal, the government hates competition.
Eagles soar, but a weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine
Eschew obfuscation.
Exxon Suxx.
Few women admit there age, Few men act it!
Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist
Forget the Jones's, I keep up with the Simpsons
Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
Geez if you believe I'm honkus
Happiness is Clinton's face on a milk carton
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now!
Honk if you are God.
Honk if you love cheeses.
Horn not working, watch for hand signals
How long 'till '96?
HUG A LOGGER - you'll never go back to trees
I brake for animals - accelerate for small children.
I brake for hallucinations.
I came, I saw, I did a little shopping
Cayman went"
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
I don't have a license to Kill, I have a learners permit.
I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
I fart to make you smell better.
I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!
I is a college student.
I love animals - They taste great!
I may be fat, but your ugly - I can lose weight!
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I took an IQ test and the results were Negative
I used to live in the real world, then I got evicted.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar!
I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?
If Clinton is the answer it must been a stupid question.
If it's too loud, you're too old
If money could talk, it would say good bye.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
If you voted for change, don't hold your breath
If you voted for Clinton YOU must have inhaled
Impeach Hillary
Inhale to the chief
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.
Is there life before coffee?
It's a dog eat dog world...and i'm wearing milkbone underwear!!!
It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you leave the booger.
Jimmy Carter is no longer our worst 
Just when you think you have won the Rat Race, along come faster rats.
Keep granny off the streets, support bingo
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
LAWYER: A cat settles a dispute between 2 mice.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself!
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!
Life is a Banquet.... So EAT ME!
Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
LOVE: two vowels, two consonants, two fools.
Mean People Suck, Nice People Swallow.
My child is a troustee at Chino correctional facilities.
My daughter turned down your honor student
My honor student can drink yours under the table
My honor student sells the best dope
My karma ran over your dogma.
My Lawyer Can Beat Your Lawyer
My other wife is beautiful
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me.  Gosh I will miss her.
Never play leap frog with a unicorn.
No Radio - Already Stolen
Nobodies ugly after 2am!
Nuke the unborn baby whales
Okay, who "stopped the payment" on my reality check?
One Term Or Less
ORGASM DONOR 
Previous owner had an honor student
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Professionals are predictable - amateurs are DANGEROUS!
Proud parent of the inmate of the month at the Chino correctional facilities.
Quiet!
Reagan -- the great communicator  Clinton -- the great fabricator
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
Romance is like a game of chess: one false move and you're mated.
Save California; when you leave take someone with you
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Smoke dope, dodge the draft, Cheat on your wife, become President, It's the new American way
So many pedestrians, so little time
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Support wildlife, throw a party! 
Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun.
Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist.
The Lord giveth and Clinton taketh away
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all it's students!
To all you virgins out there.. thanks for nothing!"
USE CAUTION!
Wanna get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister
We're staying together for the sake of the cats.
Welcome to Bradford, Now go home.
Welcome to Texas, now go home.
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the Tax man.
When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.
Which came first? The woman or the department store?
Who cares who's on board?
Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
Wink, I'll do the rest!
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Your honor student never gets laid
Your honor student sells bumper stickers
Your honor student swallows
Your kid may be an honor student but your still an IDIOT!