In the small hours of Tuesday 19th November, Paul James, a student from London, England, was kidnapped by aliens. He was returned, unharmed at around 5pm that same day.
"They just wanted me to teach them HTML" said Paul, 19.
The aliens had been monitoring radio signals from Earth, and became very interested in the idea of the Internet. They configured their communications systems and began to surf the internet. Monitoring all the new sites on the net, they came across Paul's homepage at GeoCities. The aliens were interested in setting up their own homepage in order to gain acceptance.
"Films such as Independance Day and TV shows such as The X-Files have damaged the image of aliens. They just want to tell their side of the story."
The Aliens are currently preparing their homepage, although unconfirmed reports state that they are having trouble getting to grips with frames.
Rumours are circulating about a new British TV show attempting to recreate the success of Baywatch. The show, which has the provisional title "Lifeguards: Southsea Beach", will go into production in Summer 1997 on location in Portsmouth, and is expected to premiere on British TV for the new autumn season.
The main difference with "Lifeguards" is that cutting edge computer technology will be used to 'enhance' the figures of the actors and actresses. The new system is a combination of computer generated images, as seen in Babylon 5 and seaQuest DSV, and the technology used on "The Crow". The new system is said to be cheaper than silicone impants and will reduce the amount of shooting time lost due to back pain.
A new survey has declared physicists to be the sexiest and coolest of all scientists. Chemists came a distant second, followed by biologists and computer scientists. Psycologists gained only 1% of the vote, and nobody voted for mathematicians.
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