Their mission: to legally steal a child and place it back in the hands of a suspected child-abuser. This experience happened on January 25, 1999, and the family is still reeling. The child they took belongs to a close friend. Her mother had passed away the week prior, and she came to visit, and to consider moving to New Jersey to start a new life. What she got was a welcoming party that could change her daughter's life forever.

How can such a thing happen in our free country? Surprisingly, it's pretty commonplace, and if you ever have to battle it out in the courts for custody of a child, you soon discover just how fragile -- and false -- the image of freedom actually is. When children are involved, the courts make decisions that effect families hundreds of miles away -- and not always in the best interest of the child.

Her Story

In our friend's case, she dated a man five years ago, got careless, and had a child. After two years of ignoring the child's existence, an order for child-support finally brings the man face-to-face with an important decision: run away, or be involved. He choses the latter, and asks for visitation, which he gets. To complicate matters, the father tries to get full custody of the child, even though the mother and father never married, and he ignored the first two years of her life. A Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) is requested -- and paid for -- by the father. Only something happens -- in the middle of two years of on-again, off-again custodial battles, the child starts asking questions, and making statements about sexuality that bely her five-year-old perspective. Frequent yeast infections confirmed by a physician seem to back up her daughter's words, so the mother calls the courts to have the matter investigated.

A temporary custody order is issued while the GAL investigates the suspected child abuse, but the father misses scheduled appointments (with the GAL he paid for, and his daughter). Surprisingly, after a temporary order that spans 11 months in time, the GAL informs the mother that "her time is up" and she is ready to perform a final determination, even though she never met with the father and daughter together. Right on its heals comes a soul-crushing blow to the mother: her own mother passes away.

In a fit of fear for her daughter's safety and passion for a better future, she packs her house and heads to New Jersey for a vacation first, with possible permanent relocation on her mind and in her heart. Once in NJ, the mother brings her daughter to a doctor, who confirms there is physical evidence of abuse. She is angry, distraught, and surprisingly relieved that her daughter wasn't making up the story and setting her up for a fall. The emotions seem devastating after the loss of her mother -- it seems there is no one left to cry to.

Then, the twist that ultimately got her daughter placed in the hands of the suspected abuser. He beat her to the courthouse and filed first. Since a stipulation in the temporary agreement required she contact him before leaving the state for any reason, a temporary order was issued to get the child and remand custody to the father. He lied on the papers, and failed to mention the child abuse allegations, writing that the woman's own sister told him of her intent to "steal" his daughter, and where he could find her. While the mother was busy caring for her daughter, the father legally took her back to New Hampshire. The ironic twist: Judge Nardi, of Camden County in New Jersey, signed the papers returning temporary custody of the child to the father. His specialty: child abuse cases. In the end, the New Jersey court system turned custody over to a suspected child abuser with weekend visitation rights.

The Big Picture

While the U.S. cannot be compared to the police state of Bosnia, for example, the erosion of basic Constitutional rights exist in every possible legal loophole imaginable. How far away are we all from a police state? Ask my five-year old, whose friend was taken forcibly by police officers. An image of an angry officer with hateful eyes woke him from a sound sleep last night. That's our price for freedom.