You're a right-wing, paranoid wacko, if ...
- You play soldier at least once a month with other boys who over-weight
by at least 30 pounds and over age 30.
- You know who Helen Chenoweth is and you would vote for her.
- You believe that the ATF has a secret file about you.
- You believe that George Bush was a liberal.
- You believe Newt Gingrich has a pleasant enough personality, but that
he is too accommodating.
- You believe the Federal Government is using black "stealth"
helicopters to watchdog freedom loving citizens.
- You believe in "county supremacy."
- You believe the Russian Red Army at the invitation of the UN now has
armed forces stationed in the United States, i.e., Louisiana, Alaska, South
Dakota, upper New York state.
- You think that the only thing wrong with libertarians is that they
want too much government.
- You believe home-schooling is superior to public schools.
- Your cellar is well stocked with arms, ammunition, and a 12-month
supply of foodstuff.
- You believe we would solve most of our health care problems if people
would use chiropractors, herbalists, and faith-healers.
- You believe there is going to be race war in the United States within
the next 20 years.
- You believe the only reason we can't confirm the existence of UFOs is
because of the government conspiracy.
- Your idea of religion is sending money to a television minister.
- You favorite sport is wrestling and rodeos.
- You have demanded that a local store stop selling Playboy and
Penthouse. You get your triple X pornography via UPS.
- You think environmentists are spoilt rich people who have nothing
better to do than destroy the jobs of hardworking folk.
- You believe Randy Weaver is a political prisoner.
- You think it is time for the John Birch Society to openly take over
the Republican Party.
- If there was a book of the teachings of David Koresh, you would buy
it.
- Your kids attend a U.S. Militia Association summer camp.
- You smile when you hear a report that someone has attempted to
assassinate the President.
- You believe government workers, except members of the military, are
lazy leeches.
- You would vote for Oliver North.
- You believe the Klan and the skinheads have some good ideas, but you
hate their fashions.
- You believe Jesse Helms is a statesman of the first order.
- You believe law enforcement should be privatized, e.g., use bounty
hunters instead of detectives.
- You have donated money to build a Victim's Shrine at Waco.
- You believe the UN is creating a one world government.
- You believe General Eisenhower was a conscious agent of the Communist
conspiracy and that he had General Patton murdered.
- You think the Republican Party is okay as long as the rich people
fund it, and the Westerners and Southerners run it.
- You are considering moving to another English-speaking, nearly
all-white country.
- You believe Mexico is plotting to take over the American West through
the systematic use of insurgents and by forming alliance with Indian tribes.
- You believe the National Park Service is a bloated bureaucracy that
likes animals more than people.
- You believe that Vietnam still holds at least 500 American servicemen
prisoners.
- You believe it is dangerous to let anyone in Washington control water
rights (remember what they did to the Potomac).
- You believe the 700 Club TV program is the most accurate news source
on television.
HUMOR is a rule-governed internet mailing list. There is no fee for a
subscription. There are two classes of membership: readers and contributors.
Contributors follows rules which protect the readers from excessive mail and
provide only humor (no public flames or discussion). There is no censorship and
contributors agree to provide warning when sensitive material is included. It is
an international list with members from over 60 countries. The default mail
option is DIGEST. The daily average is 8-18 contributions. To subscribe to
HUMOR send the command SUB HUMOR Firstname Lastname (in the text field) to
LISTSERV@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU (no subject line needed). The LISTSERV will acknowledge
your subscription request by asking you to confirm. Re-distribution of HUMOR to
local bulletin boards and newsgroups is encouraged. Bill Edwards, Listowner,
BEDWARDS@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU
This is humor, folks. I am not a White
Supremacist or a Skinhead.
Document source: Posted on July 15, 1995 in newsgroups
alt.politics.usa.newt-gingrich and alt.politics.white-power by Bill Edwards
(BEDWARDS@UGA.EDU).
HTML formatting and web page design by Squeaky Wheels
Publishing.
Last updated 3/24/97.
This page hosted by
Get your own Free Home Page