Despite rumors of overcrowding, high crime and giant bugs, Florida remains a top tourist destination for millions of people from around the world. For some reason, the prospect of leaving behind a winter wonderland of week-long blizzards, absolute-zero temperatures and $7,000 heating bills - for a two week vacation in the Sunshine State - continues to have a certain appeal.
A majority of tourists head to the Walt Disney theme parks in Orlando. They offer a variety of activities that appeals to a broad range of vacationers. And besides, with the exception of the New York City subway system, where could you get your picture taken next to a six-foot tall rat?
As a result of the variety of Orlando-area theme parks, many visitors aren't aware of many other attractions located throughout the state. They simply assume that the only thing that exists beyond the gates of the Magic Kingdom is the Orlando Airport and a giant swamp.
Many top-notch attractions are located in the Tampa Bay area, such as the new Florida Aquarium, which recently opened. Many also visit this area for our world-class beaches. So save yourself a long, slow drive along I-4 and explore what's right on your doorstep. Here are some other suggestions:
Located in Palmetto is the American Cockroach Museum. While you may not associate these undesirable visitors (the bugs, not your visiting relatives) with a tourist attraction, they do fulfill an important niche as a living museum about Florida's ecology. If you've always had a phobia about giant insects, you'll gain an opportunity to handle hands-on some of the state's biggest bugs that are currently in captivity. Be sure to view the largest roach ever found. Weighing in at over 900 pounds, and over 70 feet long, this roach was found hiding underneath the fuselage of a Boeing 747 at Tampa International Airport. It was promptly killed by a military-trained cockroach extermination squad and later removed to the museum. You can also see several of the plans concocted by colonies of roaches to take over the Florida legislature. They had planned to outnumber humans, and then vote themselves into political office. They failed, not realizing that an insect would only live for a few days, which is far too short to ever make it to re-election time.
If you're an avid cable television viewer, or simply would like to see how a nationwide television network operates, consider visiting the headquarters of the Swamp Shopping Network (SSN), located in Clearwater. This network has been on the air for several years, and specializes in selling real-estate in environmentally sensitive wetlands throughout Florida. Although this network was viewed with skepticism when it first appeared on cable systems, it has proven to be a stunning success. Their philosophy is simple: Because environmental regulations have grown more complex, and many communities are also interested in preserving undeveloped spaces, investing in undeveloped wetlands has the potential to reap tremendous financial rewards in a socially conscious manner. So next time you're channel surfing, and come to the real-estate channels, tune in and view some of the finest wetlands for sale throughout Florida. Better yet, visit the Swamp Shopping Network and take a behind-the-scenes look at the leader in Florida swamp sellers.
Have you ever simply wanted to rent a convertible, lower the top, and simply cruise through the top resort communities throughout Florida? Because of insurance regulations, this is often expensive and impractical. But there is an alternative. Visit the Florida Ragtop Experience in Tampa. This is a converted drive-in movie theater. You'll be able to sit in the outdoor seats on a bright, sunny day. Giant fans are positioned in front of you, and simulate the ultimate ragtop experience of the wind blowing through your hair. The giant screen only enhances the realism of cruising along the beach, where you can "see and be seen". And just think, it's inexpensive, your simulated car won't break down, and it can't get stolen while you talk a stroll along the beach.
These are just a few of the many local attractions that you just may have overlooked or simply taken for granted. There are countless wonderful activities that you can indulge in after you've grown weary of the Orlando scene. And until Walt Disney buys up the rest of the state, go off the beaten path and explore some of the local sights and sounds.
Return to Dan's Humor Page.