AUDIOPHILE B.S. Warning, if you are an audiophile who is easily offended, or has no sense of humor, please don't read this! If you are someone who knows music and electronics, you will crack up as you read some of the hilarious drivel that follows! Audio lovers seem to have more talent for appreciating music than they do for choosing words! Their descriptions of the electronic sound-idols they worship, are nothing short of hilarious! You will see them talk in terms of women, traffic, food - ANYTHING to try to eappear sophisticated and knowledgable and thus avoid using commonly understood linguistic terms! Is audiophilia a disease or a religion? How else is it that these bozos believe that they actually hear the things that they say they do? These folks are the victims of the over-priced "HIGH-END" audio manufacturers and vendors, and they are indeed their legitimate prey! Here are some examples of the utter bullshit written by over-enthused audiophiles and reviewers - you know, the guys who buy the solid gold 4-gauge speaker wires, because they claim that it sounds better that way? These suckers earnestly believe that expensive cables, resonators etc., will improve the sound of their stereo system. Anyone would think you were riding a roller coaster, eating ice cream and having intercourse with your hi-fi instead of listening to it if you go by some of these descriptions. However, for what these guys PAY for the privilege, they ought to get to do all three in addition to enjoying some music! AND NOW THE QUOTES: "Pulling harmonics together from a jumbled auditory stream to form a coherent harmonic envelope." "Image outlines were sharply focused in space with believable palpability." "There was plenty of bass detail to behold." "The music flows with gusto and verve. It squeezes instrumental images into incredibly palpable outlines." "...more muscle and definition, and a heart that is pure gold." "Most preamps when pushed hard change their sonic signature." "Harmonic colors were somewhat on the dark side." " somewhat fuzzy portrayal of image outlines." "Harmonic textures ebbed and flowed with startling dynamic nuances and the sort of liquidity and purity one only comes to associate with world-class audio products." "Harmonic textures are painted slightly gray in color." "Spatial detail was painted with a fine brush that readily resolved massed voices and the air around individual instruments." "Image outlines, however, are more precisely focused within the soundstage and in general the Accordance is capable of sketching out a convincing 3-D acoustic impression." "It felt like I had crawled into a warm and inviting sonic womb." "Not content with straight S.E.X. (the single-ended experimenter's kit), the Doctor introduces the "69" tapered pipe loudspeaker. Sounds like a recipe for a mind-blowing sonic orgasm." "The impression of speed and control was strong." "Bass lines were fleshed out with excellent definition." "It is less lush sounding than..." "These cables deliver big time! The sound is surprsingly smooth and spacious, with particularly sweet upper octaves." "...force feeding the listener an earful of detail; more accurately, a barrage of in-your-face zingers that becomes almost an instant irritant." "Each tube brand seems to have a unique flavor of its own." "Certain busy passages of music get congested." "... sounds either euphonic or bright." "The Equilibre ($8,475) - nominally a 60-watt stereo amp." "...with an easy-to-drive impedance magnitude." "Rendition of harmonic colors was suave and smooth, with a believable sugar coating." "Exposure of low-level detail, even in complex passages, without leaving anything to the imagination." "The mids are vivid in spades with wave after wave of honey-coated harmonic bliss." "The midbass region is "fun" "the upper mids are a bit more laid back than I would like." "the low bottom end is not there..." = = = = = What others have written on this subject: An audiophile friend of mine, who is quite sane and reasonable until it comes to audio equipment, told me that his new speaker wires are uni-directional. That is, one specially-marked end must be connected only to the amplifier, and not to the speaker. I tried not to smile, but I suggested that we reverse the wire and see if we could hear any difference in the performance of his system. "Oh no!" he protested," if we reverse the wire, it will damage my amplifier. The salesman warned me about that." I dunno... plain, old 16-gauge zip cord works fine for me. Costs about 15 cents a foot, and comes in choice of brown or white too. Hmmmmm, I wonder if white zip cord has better transient response than the brown variety :-) Carl Ratner artdeco@supernet.com = = = = = NO, NO, NO, you got it all wrong. My audiophile friend told me the truth. It's not that the wires are premarked for direction, it's that they take a set after being used for a week or so, and if you then turn them end for end, you can hear the difference. Of course, if you put in A-B switches for rapid changes for comparisions, the tests are not valid because of the extra whatevers caused by the switches :) John Kolb jlkolb@cts.com = = = = = I get a big kick out of the descriptions of the different sounds supposed to be had from different brand tubes....as if there was a big difference between one brand 12ax7 and another.....I would guess there would be more differences between tubes of one manufacturer from day to day, then between different manufacturers. Solid silver wire in the transformer windings.... I think its all quite silly. Perhaps we have people who can tell by the sound what brand tube you use....maybe what year, or which side of the factory it was made on.... Brett, New Jersey, USA Brett.Gazdzinski@wcom.com = = = = = You could turn this into a really neat site. Did you catch the 30 tube $4k amp using 12ax7's at http://www.blackdahlia.com/do_tip.htm#13 This guy is way out there... Also, check out http://riceboypage.com/ for an example of making fun of something as a profitable portal BOB DUCKWORTH bob@atl.org = = = = =