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Who me?A man is told by his doctor to get more exercise, so he decides to play more tennis.
After a couple of weeks, his secretary asks him how he's doing.
"Well," reports the man, "when I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, it seems like my brain immediately says: "‘To the corner! Backhand! To the net! Smash! Run back!'
"Really? What happens then?" asks his secretary, enthusiastically.
"Oh," says her boss, "then my body says: ‘Who? Me? You've got to be kidding!'"
The horrible!
A young Jewish couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother."Well," said her mother, "so -- how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying.
"But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home...PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed- they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE !!!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook....
"I'll pick you up in ten minutes," said the mother!
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