How to become a buffalo herder:

1. Find a master buffalo herder for you to learn the ropes. Most masters live in and around Libya, Detroit, Buffalo, Tulsa, Casablanca, and Kamchatka.

2. Buy the proper attire. Most herders wear a combination of a sweatsuit, disco clothes, their Sunday best, and what they wore on Halloween last year.

3. Find a herding staff. You must keep your buffalo in line! I suggest a 5' long staff with either a buffalo or cow bell duck taped to the top

4. Get a herd of buffalo. I suggest you choose American Bison. They are common and still very good. The best however are the Carnivorous Buffalo of which only I own.

5. Name your buffalo. I suggest naming good ones things like Moses, MLK Jr., Jesus, and Schindler, evil ones are named things like Adolf, Mussolini, Pol Pot, and Ghandi.

6. Find a home for new buffalo. A one car garage is nice for 1-499 buffalo. A two car garage for 500-999 bison. A 3 car garage for 1000-1449 etc.

7. Get a corporate sponsor. This is how you make cash! many big buisnesses would be more than willing to pay you big $$$MONEY$$$

8. Get some music for the long trips herding in your back yard. I suggest KORN, Sublime, Prodigy, Beck, or Cake.

9. Get a home page to tell of your wonderous expiditions herding buffalo.