Washington, D.C. (WEB Wire Service) July 12, 1999 - A
dour President Clinton started his press
conference today with an update on the
massacre of Serbian Kosovars at the hands
of the KLA. Eight thousand new graves
were found in Pristina alone and all TV sets
were now in the hands of the ethnic
Albanians. Although President Clinton
called this 'payback time', the press was
more interested in the annoucement of
Monica Lewinsky that she was running as a
Democrat for the Senate seat in New
York.The questions came fast and were
very pointed.
"In a free society, people can do what
they want. Well, within reason. Like
smoking. Well that's different. Or attending
the school of your choice. Or well, you
know what I mean... anything that the
government has not proscribed for your
own good".
"Would you support
Ms. Lewinsky if she succeeds in New
York"?
"When the people have spoken, who
can reject them", was his response. "But it's
premature to speculate on that. What
Democrats have to do is unite behind the
winner and... by the way, notice both are
women... I like that and always have".
"On the Sunday cable shows, James
Carville described the Lewinsky run as a
debt owed to Ken Starr and that Starr was
orchestrating the whole thing. He even
suggested an affair had developed when
Starr was interrogating Ms. Lewinsky.
What about that"?
"As you know, I just know Mr.
Carville and his Republican wife socially
and know nothing of his investigations in to
the scurrilous behavior of Ken Starr. But
after what he tried to do to me, I wouldn't
put it past him".
"Mrs. Clinton is looking at a 3
million dollar home in Westchester county
as a possible purchase. Where did she get
that kind of money"?
"Well, she the smartest woman in
America. She got me didn't she...ha ha ha.
You'll have to ask her about that. I'm
working harder than I've ever worked
doing the people's business and I don't have
time to care about money. I'll probably
leave office poorer than when I came in.
Why just the other day someone commented
that I had an Adlai Stevenson shoe on. You
know... it had a hole in the sole. I hadn't
even noticed I've been so busy. What with
Medicare, Social Security, and solving
international problems, I hardly have time
to make lists of porn sites on the internet
for the V-chip guys".
"One last question, Mr. President.
Given your fabulous victory in Kosovo
freeing the ethnic Albanians from a
repressive regime and the buildup of
Chinese nuclear delivery vehicles using our
technology, wouldn't it be advisable to
threaten a preemptive nuclear attack on China in order
to stop the ethnic cleansing and free Tibet from bondage before it's too
late"?
"Say what"? |