Dr. Seuss Goes To Florida
Part 2
How the Grinch Stole the Election
Democratic view of Election 2000
- Every Who down in Who-ville liked to vote in a booth
- But the Grinch down in Texas was afraid of the truth
- So he called brother Jeb, who just happened to be
- The ruler of Who-ville, oh, what a Grinch family!
- Brother Jeb ruled Who-ville with an iron mallet
- And so he came up with the butterfly ballot.
- When election day came all the Whos heard the news
- And they all came out to make the Grinch lose.
- But when the Whos tried to choose they just got so confused!
- Some Whos voted for ones, some Whos voted for twos!
- Some Whos got excited, some other Whos got mad
- Because their two punches left just hanging chad.
- Now all the Whos hollered, "Oh, won't someone spare us?"
- And that's when the Grinch sent in Katherine Harris.
- "You Whos cannot choose, and I won't give an inch!
- And that's why you lose! The winner's the Grinch!"
- Then the Grinch called the Grinchess, Katherine Harris,
- And said, "You'll be my ambassador to Paris!"
- But the Whos would not lose, the Whos held the fort.
- They said, "Hold it, you Grinch! Now meet the Supreme Court!"
- And the Supreme Court said, "Ms. Harris, you've been bad.
- So, pucker up and kiss my big dimpled chad!"
- Now the Grinch became flummoxed because of those Whos
- He stewed in his juices and went back on the booze.
- He cried for his daddy, who had the connections,
- And they called in Grinch Baker to steal the election!
- The Grinches huffed and puffed and blew a spew of hot air
- They accused the poor Whos of not playing fair!
- They foamed at the mouth, sued the Whos with minutiae
- In Palm Beach, in Broward and even Volusia!
- The Grinch made such a stink, with his ruse on the news
- That he stole the election and said, "pooh-pooh" to the Whos.
- And then all of Who-ville was drenched in the stench
- And every Who knew it came from George W. Grinch.