Jamie

Jamie gets pulled over for speeding...

•   Jamie: Is there a problem, Officer?
  
•   Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
  
•   Jamie: Oh, I see.
  
•   Officer: Can I see your license, please?
  
•   Jamie: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
  
•   Officer: Don't have one?
  
•   Jamie: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
  
•   Officer: I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
  
•   Jamie: I can't do that.
  
•   Officer: Why not?
  
•   Jamie: I stole this car.
  
•   Officer: Stole it?
  
•   Jamie: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
  
•   Officer: You what?
  
•   Jamie: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at Jamie and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
  
•   Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle, please! Jamie steps out of her vehicle. At 6 foot 2 inches, Jamie towers over the officer.
  
•   Jamie: Is there a problem, sir?
  
•   Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
  
•   Jamie: Murdered the owner?
  
•   Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please? Jamie opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
  
•   Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
  
•   Jamie: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
  
•   Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. Jamie digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
  
•   Officer 2: Thank you, ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered the owner and hacked up the owner.
  
•   Jamie: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.