1. Dane John Mound is Anglo-Saxon for Big Pile of Dirt.
2. Thomas' monks invented tourism.
3. Everything can be blamed on the Vikings. (New fact, just learned this: Lawyers. Yup. The Vikings created the role of prosecuter and jury.
Evil...)
4. 'Doing laundry' is never as easy as it sounds.
5. Good Karma/Bad Karma and why you can never have both.
6. "Eladio, you are El Chupacabra!"
7. Henry VIII destroyed - he's the greatest single villian of all time!
8. It will always not rain when you have a brollie and vice-versa.
9. The Curse of Clare - she is a Rainmaker.
10. Everything has a conspiracy behind it. Everything. Including puppy dogs with little wet noses and wiggly tails. *Aw*
11. It's tomato sauce...not ketchup.
12. It's football, not soccer. Silly American.
13. Rutherford = rather pants meals
14. Creepy John is omniscent. He's everywhere.
15. There's never a bomb scare when I have an exam.
16. All I need is a small aubergene...
17. Rutherford Man's name is Roger.
18. The Fire alarm is tested ever wednesday morning at 8.15.
19. False alarms only go off at 2 a.m. or during the X-Files season finale.
20. John Donne was a wimp who only wanted to be loved. :)
21. Modernism is pants.
22. John Milton was/is an evil egomaniac.
23. Shakespeare was a Klingon. Or Kit Marlowe.
24. Dakta! Dakta!
25. A night "on the tiles" does not mean you're tile shopping.
26. You can buy maggots from a vending machine.
27. It is impossible to find a pair of size 8 sandals in June.
28. There is no such thing as pumpkin pie in England.
29. S'bort! It's so versatile.
30. Joseph Conrad is buried in Canterbury.
31. Joey's Polish name is mispelled on the headstone.
(Teadore...it should be Teodore. Ooops.)
32. Whenever you're on time, the bus is late. By 15 minutes.
33. Older men hit on Jenny. No one knows why. It's a mystery.
34. Oooh, brain sucking ameoba.
35. Sweet popcorn...two thumbs up! God bless the English and their obsession with sugar.
36. "England! England!" is not a pick-up line. Unless, of course, you're in Paris. Or making a debute on Argentinian television.
37. Apparently Hercules posed in flagrante with a number of people for a number of statues. Trollup.
38. Red is not a good colour for curtains.
39. "Stour" is not Anglo-Saxon for, "It's so small, are you sure's it's a river?"
40. There is no number forty...bawahahahaha....