On the left you'll see my guard. Don't worry, he's harmless. (He's been neutered, but don't tell him that. It might be hazardous to your health.)

Perhaps you're wondering what the hell is going on here. I sure would be. I'll tell you, but first, you must take an oath not to disclose the information contained herein to anyone unless you think they would enjoy it and they think of the word "SUE" as a name, not verb.

First, put your hand on the screen and clear your throat, for you are about to utter a vow that I would not violate if I were you. The only other step is to say in a sincere voice, "I promise to my monitor that I will clean my screen within the next twenty-four hours, as my hands are filthy and are smudging up the screen."

There, you're in.


It appears that darkness has fallen. Take a torch and choose a link to follow. I can't guarantee you will find all or any of this funny, but I can guarantee that I've deemed everything here worthy to be available to that rather harsh judge, the general public.

Sheets of Initiation, Rank, and other assorted bullsheet

The writings that keep me from going to a post office with an AK-47 and asking politely for my mail.

The obligatory links page


write death threats, Academy Award nominations, insulting notes, the Gettysburg Address, or whatever to my lovely free e-mail address