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The Finks: Expansion Champions

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The Finks (Team Kotsay)
The Pacific Beach Recreation Center softball league has a deep tradition, beginning sometime in the 1800’s in San Diego, California. This history is so steep in tradition that few will speak of it. This much is known, facts about past Leagues are rare and have been passed from generation to generation from father to son, mother to daughter, old drunks at the park to new drunks at the park. It was into this tradition that the Finks were born. This is their story. The Finks (Team Kotsay) began the season 5-0, crushing opponents each week. The sun was shining on Josh’s team. Then, as the party continued, Kelly, the star third baseman for the team, stunned all the members by quitting. She would show up 30 seconds before the game and not say much, but, she was a talent. She walked away from the team with little or no explanation, evoking images of Barry Sanders exiting the Lions. The Finks lost their next game. (some of these “facts” may be untrue as I did drink many beers during the season)

We are in such a slump that even the ones that aren't drinkin' aren't hittin'. Casey Stengel

The Finks lost two more games all season before winning the championship. I just realized that a full recap of the season is boring, so, I will get to the good stuff. Here are the players on the championship team and their contributions to victory.

Huddy Brooklyn, NY Born-in the 60’s Huddy was the lead off hitter, maybe more for the speed he once had in his 20’s, maybe out of respect for being the eldest member of the Finks, but, Coach Josh put Huddy in that spot each week. Some games Huddy was 4-4, sprinting around the basepaths, fans wondering how he is not playing at the Q. Other games, Huddy was hungover, tired, not moving well around the diamond. It was these days when fans realized he was just a rec-league player, yet one with astounding good looks. Huddy was useless in the final game, collecting one hit, he credits his teammates with picking him up that day. There is word that he was injured in the championship game due to a pre-game mishap. It seems that Stevie Bee, not to be confused with Stevie Nix, irresponsibly threw a fastball at Huddy as he warmed up, hitting him in the chest. Bee claims that Huddy put his arm up, asking for the ball to be thrown. Huddy thinks Bee is just jealous of his stardom.

Steve Bee San Diego, CA Born-in the 60’s or 70’s in Logan Heights Bee was the glue of this team, the shortstop and number three hitter. Bee was a modern day Mickey Mantle, loads of talent and always willing to have a few adult beverages with the guys. The ritual of the other Finks was to wonder what shape the superstar would be in that day. They would stand around and talk, looking over their shoulders for his emergence, checking him as he walked up. Were his eyes open? Was he moving slow? Were his sentences clear? More often then not this dictated the days game. Bee often was caught with Kelly Leake-itis, which, if you don’t now what that means I can’t help ya. Two quotes from Bee:

To Huddy one game every time the ball was hit to him: “Please Huddy, catch it”

Exchange between Bee and Huddy after telling Huddy he should have been on second base:
Huddy: How was I supposed to get to second on that one?
Bee: Run
.
Mark Kotsay, whose jersey we all wore

Kira New Mexico, Born 1996

Kira is the hero of many for her generosity and kindness. She provided the Kotsay jerseys for the team and often brought some good cup cakes to the game. She suffered a back injury yet came back from it the next week, displaying her toughness. She was solid in the field and often hit line drives at the plate. She only ran through one sign all year, but, we won’t talk about that here.

Useless Fact- New Mexico's state bird is the roadrunner

Quote from Kira after Huddy hit Josh twice with the ball:

“Do not hit my brother again!”

(That is touching, no?)

Katie San Diego, CA, Born 1987

Katie joined the team after a few games and made the team forget Kelly. She hit 10 homeruns, three to right center. Wait, that wasn’t Katie. She was unemployed for a while but took a job for some reason. She made some key plays at second when Fink or Bee were not suffering from Kelly Leake-itis.

Casey San Diego, CA Born 1992

Casey went to Santa Barbara with my sister Mary, bet you did not know that? I have known her for longer than anyone on the Finks besides Keri. She mostly played as a rover all season and often made sweet plays when old Kelly Leake-itis was not setting in. She was crushing the ball at the end of the season and was not at the championship game, though, I did see her at Flogging Molly but I was drunk and do not recall our conversation.

Kris San Diego, CA, born sometime in the 70’s

Kris only played a few games so her bio is incomplete. She showed flashes of brilliance at third and hit the ball well in her one playoff game. She made the probation department proud. Her greatest contribution was giving me a beer between games in the playoffs to keep me awake, I will forever be indebted to her for that.

Fink- New Mexico, no birth date found, but, in Las Cruces

Joshua Finkenberg was born in New Mexico in the early 70’s. Attempts to locate a birth certificate were unsuccessful as few know where New Mexico is and we could not find that place ourselves. We see it on the map but have no idea why anybody ever goes there. That, however, is another story for another day. Josh had moved to San Diego a few years back, spending his time on the golf course and running in triathlons, well, maybe the word should be triathlon. He was looking for another athletic outlet to bring back his childhood on the rough streets of New Mexico. His dream? To run his own co-ed softball team. One day, hungover from another free concert thanks to his successful and much better looking sister, he decided to live his dream. Josh formed the Finks, a rag-tag team of financial advisors, probation officers, salesmen, marketing executives(well, that is what I will call Kira for now), nurses (or soon to be nurses) and, of course, the unemployed who moonlights working on a brilliant hockey web site. Josh proclaimed himself “The greatest fielder on the team” halfway through the season, the next game he made two errors. He also threw his glove in disgust when Huddy made his only error of the season, shattering Huddy’s confidence for 10 seconds. Josh was the usual pitcher and, you can’t hit without a pitcher, which showed his general importance to the club. Fink also is a sufferer of Kelly Leake-itis.

Dana San Diego, CA born in the 80’s

Dana made the play of the year, an over the back catch in the championship. It was done with ease and grace. She is a Charger fan who really loves the Jets. She can drink with the best of em and is a rarity, a left-handed third baseman. Dana hits the ball hard, usually past the second baseman, they pulled the Barry Bonds switch on her one game, putting almost all their players in right field, I believe she got a hit anyway.

Matt Compton, Born-1956

It was thought for a while that Matt and Scoot were the same person until late in the season when they both showed up, ending that hideous rumor. Matt was a consistent hitter and fielder, moving from any outfield position to first base. He was most happy when screwing around on the basepaths, hopping up and down attempting to draw a throw. Despite how ridiculous he looked at times this ploy often worked. Matt has a job and a wife so sometimes he missed games, what type of lifestyle is that? Matts finest moment was looking at wedding magazines with the girls between games in the playoffs.

Scoot Orange County, Born 1803

Scoots season started with a bang. While warming up with Huddy, Huddy threw one of his famous not close to the guy you are throwing throws. The former USD rushing leader (Scoot) stepped onto the sidewalk to get it and was run over by a dude on a bicycle. He was just coming off Knee surgery and it did not look good. Scoot did recover, however, to be one of the Finks most consistent hitters. Scoot did not realize that line between third and first meant something until about midway through the season, when he was caught in a pickle and ended up sliding into the fence. He was told that he had to go home because he had crossed that line, and responded that he was not aware of that. Before next season I will walk Scoot through all the rules of the field. He also has a job and a wife and thus missed some games, do I sense a trend here?

Super Joe Rockville Centre, NY Born 1981 and

Louisa Memphis, TN, Born 1990 playing the banjo

Super Joe quietly may have been the teams’ best hitter. Though hitting late in the order, he was no Rey Ordonez. Game after game Super Joe would come through with a clutch hit. Despite often wearing green shorts, his blue jersey and red hat, Louisa still agree to marry him. This is proof that love may be blind. Joe and Louisa are now engaged and congratulations are in order. Louisa was as clutch a player as Joe. The infield would almost stand next to her when she hit but she would still get on base. Louisa made one of the plays of the year, making a great catch at home in a tight game. The ball seemed to be suspended in mid-air as the runner charged home, but Louisa blocked it all out and made the grab.

Quote from Louisa after getting to third base: “I’m not used to running this far on a Sunday evening”

Keri Los Angeles, CA Born 1972, yes, she is 30

Keri is my roommate and is crazy, enough said.

Ok, she can hit, her fielding is good at times and it takes her an hour to run to first base. But, she can hit, very well.

Fans San Diego, Cyprus, other locations, no other info available.

You fans are great. Ko, Mo and the rest. Ko and Mo were often in attendance wearing there surf shoes or high heels, the latest fashion trends were a big part of the Finks. How could I forget Kirsten? She played in a game and kept score in another! She was in Chicago last week and somehow I forgot bout her, my deapest apologies Miss Ash. Without our fans we are nothing, just people running around a grass field chasing a ball. With our fans, we are just people running around a grass field chasing a ball with our friends watching.

Final Note:

Kelly Leak-itis refers to Kelly Leake of the Bad News Bears who ran in front of his teamates to catch any ball he could, aka Fink or Bee.