Hudsonian - Special Belt Edition

"Count the belts around your waste" -- Robert Francis Hudson

Belt Advice.

The Greatest Newspaper in the History of the existence of mankind

Belt: Wear one at a time.

The Belt

San Diego - I woke up Monday morning energized and ready for a full week of work! Not really, thinking of ways to make millions and hit the golf course each day. In deep thought of millions, I put my neatly pressed (year right), slacks on. I checked the mirror, things looked good, like always. The morning went by with yours truly composing brilliant code, the kind mere commoners can never create. Feeling great, refreshed, I head to the restroom.

I finish my business and go to buckle my belt. "hmmm, I think, something weird is going on". Yes, I was not wearing one belt, but two. Two belts, how can one put on two belts and not realize it? What kind of moron does that? Me, I do.

I wandered into the break room, I only go into the break room to see how common people live, I am not one of them. I say to two girls, "I just realized I was wearing two belts". They look at me and laugh and cannot speak and laugh and laugh and still cannot speak and I have to leave the commoner room to save some sort of dignity.

I go into the room where the programmers sit with me. I say, I just found out I was wearing two belts. They say: "those pants were held up tight, eh"

I bought these chairs from pier one imports, yes, I did, what have I become? They have these foot stools I guess you would call them. I setup the chair and put my foot on the stool and my foot falls through it. I say to Blanca, "this is stupid, you can't put your foot on it" Blanca says, "that is stupid, we should take it back" Denielle walks downstairs, we say, this thing is stupid. Denielle says. " you have it upside down genius". The other side is where the pillow is supposed to go, works like a charm.