But... what is it that is so fearful within me... that I cannot discover?
The unknown that your MIND fears [but oddly enough you are not cognitively aware of having] are intensely negative traumata that your MIND took-on as misperceptions of who and what you are at the time of your birth. I know this sounds strange and perhaps even bizarre... but it is true.
Most people are not aware of this truth because it was denied in the early 1900's by B.F. Skinner, the leader of a group of behavioral scientists who were all quite ignorant of the Esoteric realms within themselves, and thus, ignorant of the Esoteric realm in Man.
Each of us enters this plane with a "Fate Karma", or a plan of what we want to accomplish during this current life. If you are not familiar with the concept of Karma [and most Westerners are not] then let me say that it is most simply understood this way: "As you sow, so shall you reap". For every action you have taken in the past, and were not able to "reap" the result of that action, there is a Karmic "due bill" attached to a MINDline within your MIND realm, and some of these "due bills" are part of your Fate Karma for this life.
In order to create a personality that "fits" your Fate Karma, which can be used to "force" you to move in directions needed by your Fate Karma, your MIND and Apapsyche [the Operationlal Energy of your Soul], "create" what I refer to as the NS-ICM within your MIND [this is no doubt what Freud labeled the "ID"]. To create this NS-ICM (Negative Self-Image Composed of Misperceptions], your MIND reaches out to the MINDs of your parent(s) to discover who and what you are? What comes back is fear, panic, terror, and a bit of memory of your parents' own births. Your MIND assumes that either these intensely negative emotons are who and what you are, or who and what you are is causing these intensely negative emotions. In either case, you [your Apapsyche] orders your MIND to hide these and to never show them to anyone.... ever. And your MIND obeys and represses them as what I refer to as the NS-ICM within itself. In place of the NS-ICM, your MIND creates a "false" identity to serve as your identity. This false identity is composed of the false identity of the most significant parent [and this structuring of ones personality is most complex].
The bottom line is that within each of us exists a NS-ICM that our MIND dutifully keeps hidden .... even from ourselves. It is hidden as our fear of the "Unknown" which our MINDs delusionally causes us to believe exists outside of ourselves.
Unfortunately, for the last century mental health, or what I refer to as BS&bp [Behavioral Science and the oxymoron "behavioral psychology"] (and programs based on the tenets of "behaviorism"), has aggressively denied the Esoteric realms within Man. The result has been to deny the NS-ICM even more so while offering no idea what the MIND is, or how it works. BS&bp is essentially useless for those within whom "conflicts" within the MIND exist.
For this reason, after studying the MIND and Spiritual realms within Man for about thirty years, and experiencing how impossible it is to try and convince those in control of BS&bp to listen to what I have discovered... I have decided to go directly to the professionals in mental health themselves via blogs, books, and workshops.
I am pretty much retired... but still very much concerned at how much needless pain and suffering the American people are suffering due to BS&bp. I therefore offer what I know freely to anyone who is brave enough to listen. If you have an interest, or you know someone who might... please contact me so that we can get started on a new approach to help people. Email me at: esominder@yahoo.com.