Should I Become A Single Parent?

Should I Become A Single Parent?
Jemal (1999)

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I was listening to the radio this morning and a female caller wanted to know if she should have a child. She wasn't in a serious relationship (let's not even talk about being unmarried and having sex and kids), and didn't want to be with any man long term. However, she wanted to have a child. She was financially stable and could adequately provide for the child.

My answer in short is . . . NO! While I understand that this is a prevelent question among working independent women, I think it is a selfish and shortsighted one.

Now I expect to take some heat for this, but the reality is that the woman who is considering this is putting her need or desire to have someone love her (or whatever it is) before the needs of that child. Women have done admirable jobs as single parents. However, a single parent household is not comparable to a household with two loving parents in it. Period.

Men aren't women and react and love differently. Women aren't men and react and love differently. The way God designed the system it takes both parents (a man and a woman, not two women or two men) to conceive the child and to raise that child. That child therefore deserves the optimal upbringing and should not be short changed because mommy wanted a baby (nor should the baby be short changed because daddy just wanted some booty).

I grew up in a single parent household and my mother did a great job. However, when I needed a man to talk to or relate to or learn from she was inadequate. This is not a knock on her (or any other single parent). She just wasn't a man.

Don't think of only yourself. Think of your child who needs both loving parents and God. Don't short change him or her because you came out o.k. in a single parent household. It simply isn't fair.

Thursday, June 17, 1999 04:59:45 PM