Russell
Crowe, our Man of the Hour, our hero, has recently proven that he is
indeed superhuman. With
promotional obligations, awards dinners and ceremonies, concert appearances
and charity events all converging on him at once, did he try to wriggle
out of any of them just to make life easier for himself? Noooo! He took
them all on and defied the limits of a 24-hour day to fit it all into
his busy schedule.
And just
how did he do that? We knew you'd ask!
Russarappa of the Crowe's Perch has a singular way
of describing just how taxing our Russell's schedule has been! So sit
back, relax ('cause he can't), and marvel at the feets feats
of Mr. Crowe!
|
 |
| Feb 12
- TOFOG appears live in Melbourne, Australia, at the Allen Border Medal
ceremonies |
| Feb 15
- Russell attends the Proof of Life premiere
in Rome, Italy |
| Feb 19
- Russell attends the Proof of Life premieres
in Madrid, Spain |
| Feb 21 -
Russell attends the
Proof of Life premiere in London, Leicester Square |
| Feb 23
- Russell
attends the Proof of Life premieres in Sydney
& Melbourne, Australia |
| Feb 25 -
Russell attends the BAFTA Award ceremony in London |
| Feb 26
- TOFOG performs live in Milan, Italy |
| Feb 26 -
TOFOG performs live at the Sanremo Music Festival, Sanremo, Italy |
As you can
see, The Crowe is not a easy man to track, but Russarappa managed to keep
up with him long enough to see through The Man's eyes - and what a view!
 |
Calm down and
have a listen
To Russarappa reminiscin'
'Bout the trials of Russell Crowe
Who's never still, and on the go;
Rappa tells it with a beat
That has you bouncin' in your seat!
Grab a beer and your next of kin
And let the foot-tappin' rap begin:
|
Long
Ride Rap
(get the beat goin)
Russell is ridin' on a big
jet plane
Just sittin' still is drivin' him insane
Valentine's Day but he's high in the air
But the Ben and Jerry press ain't in his hair
Good news - bad booze
Gotta take off those shoes
Good views - no clues
Tryin' in vain to get a snooze
Food is rubber, musta come
from a can
Is it Vegemite or is it spam?
Need some rest but the eyes won't close
Picturin' the flight attendant with no clothes
He can barely talk when he tries to make a call
Got a wad of Nicorette - size of a golf ball
Good news - bad booze
Gotta take off those shoes
Good views - no clues
Tryin' in vain to get a snooze
Russell attended
the Proof of Life premiere in Rome on Feb 15th. Rome was the first
stop for Russell during this brutal two-week trans-continental trek, which
took him back and forth between Europe and Australia twice.
 |
The
Tourist in Spain Rap
Pro-motion can be a chore
Hotel rooms can really bore
Ain't been to Madrid before
Just wantin' to explore
Yo! Go!!
Bout the shoppin I confess
Bought my mum a brand new dress
Won't be a surprise I guess
If she reads the foreign press
Hunh! Hunh!
Motor's goin putt putt
Vibrates your insides (and) but
In good cheer but it's clear
Transmission needs another gear
Vroom! Zoom!!
|
|
Russell appeared
at the Proof of Life premiere on Feb 19th. During that event,
there was a photo op outside in what looks like a garden; cleans up
nice, don't he? |
 |
Where
dey go? Rap
(Russell
now he need his flannel,
since he cross da English Channel)
London's
where the tabs were born
Russ could really get forlorn
So he go an gone out pissin
Richard Harris he been missin
Yo! Bro!
But before
he leave his dungeon
Yeah, da hotel room in London
Can you see yo Russ McMuffin
Frantic goin through his stuff, then?
Those?
Hose?
How could
he go out on da street
Without his hose, he incomplete
But there they were, at last, replete
Beneath those da#n Egyptian sheets.
Mesh!
meet Flesh!
|
 |
A
number of lovely Spanish Ladies of the Spanish Hordes were lucky enough to
catch up with Russell in Madrid, where they spent 20 minutes talking to him,
and gave him a gift of a stuffed cow. Hola, ladies, let us know when your
feet are touching ground again!
 |
Too
D#mn Tired Rap
Exhaustion
won - couldn't choose
Minder watch me while I snooze
When really tired I get in trouble
Wooky eye make me see double
Stead of seein 80 writers
See hundred sixty of dem blighters
So
tired. Brain mired.
|
Consolation
Rap
Another room, another
town
Acquaintances, not mates, abound
Sometimes at night
When it is quiet
Darkness swirls - doubts at play
And mates are oh so far away
So far away.
But I ain one fo stayin
down
Tonight I didn't get no crown
They like the dancin - not the fights
Would I have won if I'd worn tights?
But I be glad de kid done won
Things mean so much when you be young
Sincere. Cheer. |
|
The
BAFTA Awards, Feb 25, 2001
Gladiator picked up 5 more awards, but Russell lost the Best Actor
category to his new friend, the young up-and-comer from the UK, Jamie Bell
('Billy Elliot'). [BAFTA: British Academy of Film and Television Arts]
WHO
is Russarappa, you ask? In her own words:
(start the
band's rhythm - a bit like Nowhere)
Gonna
come out of the closet, gonna have some fun
Gonna have at it, if I fall on my bum
Easy to see where my name comes from
Wanna get the rhythm, wanna be a chum
I'm
bad - I'm mean
I'm a russamutharappin machine
Yeah, I'm slick, gotta sheen
I'm a russamutharappin machine
Need
a picture of me for your own mind's eye
I'm so ugly - make your doggie cry
I'm a blue eyed darlin with store bought teeth
Got wrinkles in places that oughta have beef
I'm
bad - I'm mean
I'm a russamutharappin machine
I know
what he looks like so no need to fru
Just get into my music start tappin your shoe
I'm
bad - I'm mean
I'm a russamutharappin machine
Yeah,
I'm slick, I gotta sheen
I'm a russamutharappin machine