OK!! I know! Every stinkin' Hercules Jerkules page on the web has some dumb summary of the movie but I though, eehh... what the hell! Besides, I get paid extra for every work I say. Not like I have a problem with that cause I could talk for hours and hours and hours about the silliest things and some people even say I ramble but I think thats a bunch of crap! I never ramble about anything and you all know it! Am I right? Tell me that I'm right!!
The story begins with a blessed event on Mount Olympus, the heavenly home of the Greek gods, as Zeus and his wife Hera throw a palatial party to celebrate the arrival of their newborn son, Hercules. The tike's strength is enormous, as evidenced by his vice-like grip and a propensity for tossing around his father's lightning bolts. As a special gift, Zeus presents his son with a loyal companion named Pegasus - a winged horse created from cloud formations. Everyone is in a jolly mood except for one gloomy guest named Hades. This disgruntled god, who hates his job as Lord of the Underworld, is tired of hanging around with a bunch of deadbeats and has been secretly plotting a hostile takeover of Mount Olympus.
Back in the Underworld, the fiery Hades commiserates with his two dim-witted and demonic, shape-changing sidekicks, Pain and Panic, and consults with the Fates, a trio of wizened women who use a common eyeball to gaze into the future, to find out what impact Hercules may have on his plans. They tell him that in 18 years the planets will align and the time will be right to unleash the Titans and topple Zeus. They add: "A word of caution to this tale; should Hercules fight, you will fail." Not wanting to tempt the Fates, Hades dispatches Pain and Panic to Mount Olympus to abduct the child, give him a potion which would render him mortal and then dispose of him. But after bringing Baby Hercules to Earth, the sidekicks bungle their mission and fail to administer the last few drops of the potent "Grecian formula," which leaves the infant with god-like strength but human mortality. Figuring that Hades will be none the wiser, Pain and Panic take off and Hercules is found by a mortal couple, Amphitryon and Alcmene, who raise him as their own.
Unaware of his origins, Hercules grows into a gawky teen but increasingly feels that he doesn't quite fit in. His uncontrollable strength wreaks havoc and further alienates him from the townsfolk. Determined to "go the distance" and find his place in the world, Hercules is unsure what to do until Amphitryon tells him that he was adopted. A medallion, the symbol of the gods, offers one clue to his origins, so Hercules decides to go to the Temple of Zeus to seek some answers. There, a statue of Zeus springs to life and father and son are reunited. Zeus tells the boy that only gods can live on Mount Olympus and the only way he can return home is to prove himself a "true hero" on Earth. His father suggests that he seek out a trainer of heroes named Philoctetes ("Phil" for short) to help him in his mission. Zeus also brings Hercules together with his childhood companion, the flying Pegasus.
Flying to the Island of Idra on Pegasus' back, Herc locates Phil, a sarcastic satyr, who advises him that he's retired from the hero-training racket. Still reeling from his latest failure, a heel named Achilles, Phil is "persuaded" to take the lad on as his "one last hope" to coach a champion. An intense training period follows whereby Herc learns to harness his strength and prepare for the task of becoming a hero.
Phil and Herc head to Thebes, the toughest town in Greece, but are sidetracked by a damsel in distress. The woman is a Grecian beauty named Megara (or "Meg") and she appears to be at the mercy of a self-centered centaur named Nessus. After a shaky start, Herc conquers the beast only to find that Meg wasn't in danger afterall. She is tough, resourceful, witty and unlike any woman he has ever met. After Herc and company depart, Meg is joined by her "boss" Hades, who wants to know why she failed to enlist the services of Nessus. When she explains the snafu and mentions the name of her rescuer, Hades has a cosmic meltdown at the realization that his nemesis is still alive. After a heated exchange with Pain and Panic, he begins making new plans for eliminating Hercules.
Meanwhile, in the "Big Olive" (Thebes), a hapless metropolis plagued by disasters and monsters, Herc sets about building his "rep" as a hero. When Meg arrives seeking assistance for "two boys" (actually Pain and Panic in disguise) trapped behind some rocks, Herc moves into action unaware that it is all part of Hades' scheme. On the scene, Hercules is drawn into battle with a Hydra, a ferocious monster that sprouts multiple heads to replace any that are severed. With Phil's coaching, Herc manages to save the day and is hailed as a hero. Hades mounts an offensive and sends a slew of monsters in every shape and size (wild boars, sea serpents, a Minotaur) to challenge our hero. Each new victory adds to Hercules' fame as he catapults from "zero to hero" and instantly becomes a household word, a merchandising sensation and a heartthrob.
With a string of heroic labors under his belt, Hercules returns to the Temple of Zeus to tell his father he is ready to return home. Zeus explains that being famous isn't the same as being a true hero and tells him to look inside his heart for the answers.
With the moment he has waited 18 years for rapidly approaching and Herc still at large, Hades becomes increasingly stressed and desperate. Against her will, Meg is sent to uncover Herc's weakness, but in the process she begins to realize just how strong her feelings are for him. It doesn't take Hades long to figure out that Meg is Hercules' weakness. Hades gets Hercules to agree to give up his strength for 24 hours in exchange for Meg's safety and freedom. As a parting shot, he tells Hercules that Meg has been part of his team all along and that her affection for him was part of the charade. In addition to feeling weak, he now feels betrayed.
As the planets align, Hades frees the massive Titans -- a fearsome foursome made of rock, wind, lava and ice -- from a giant cage where they were imprisoned by Zeus back when the world was new. Rampaging across the land, Hades leads them to Mount Olympus to exact their revenge on Zeus and the other gods. Meanwhile back in the city, Hades has sent a giant Cyclops to finish off the weakened and dispirited Hercules.
There's plenty of excitement, surprises and dramatic action in the film's climax as Hercules struggles to rekindle his belief in himself. Against overwhelming odds, he bravely fights back and ultimately discovers what it takes to be a true hero.