Get your own Free Home PageThat's the kind of mocking words you will hear when you choose chastity.
All I can say to that is: How clueless can you get?
The lustful who've never lived in chastity (not simply abstinence) don't know its joy. They feel that being unable to fulfill one's sexual desires is a recipe for frustration and unhappiness.
Nothing could be further from the truth!
I have written this article to show that, contrary to what our society says, chastity-- that is, pre-marital chastity-- is possible, practical, beneficial and great source of happiness, even if at times it is difficult.
I have solicited the testimonies of various net acquaintances on this topic-- mostly people I know from a Catholic mailing list. I have included their comments within the article itself, and in an appendix. Many articles on chastity offer a lot of theory, but not much practical knowledge about how attain and *live with* chastity: or they put forward the arguments for chastity without showing that *real* flesh-and-blood people live this lifestyle, therefore making chastity appear to be an unattainable and unrealistic ideal. These articles also tend with to concentrate on the religious reasons of chastity without showing the psychological benefits. I have sought in this article to fill in these gaps.
CHASTITY, HA! WHAT A JOKE!
That's the kind of attitude you'll meet among cynics. What's so great about chastity? One of the things you learn when you're chaste is that you're worth waiting for. You learn that even if the great majority of potential marriage partners in the won't wait, you're *still* worth waiting for, in spite of everything. Loving oneself sounds pretty dull next to accounts of sexual exploits, but in reality, it's far more essential to happiness. If you do not respect yourself, you cannot be happy. Simple as that. Chastity is a step towards self-respect. It implies that every human being is unique and special: so much so that sharing oneself in sex is not just fun, but it is one of the highest gifts of self. Chastity gives you this vision your own uniqueness and a greater sense of self-worth.
Chastity also does away with a lot of mind games-- often played to get people into bed. Respect for ourselves leads to more respect for others because in realizing our own specialness, we see it in others. And since we ourselves detest lies and deception, we avoid it when dealing with others. As Kristi (age 22) from Florida says, 'I have NO worries about what any of my relationships are about, whether they are romantic or not. I can (...) see how a life of chosen celibacy frees a person to relate more honestly with others.'
Another great thing about chastity is that it leads you to become best friends with the person you're dating. Sex does not get in the way. As Elizabeth from Cleveland testifies, 'During the time I was chaste, I never felt better, saw more clearly, and learned how to become a friend to my now husband, instead of of just having sex in common, which is all (...) kids have, and so they go [from] one bed to another, looking for `love`.' Let's face it-- when non-chaste couples date, a lot of time is spent in bed, or trying to get the other in bed, often with the use of mind games and manipulation. Even if couples are not constantly in the sack, they could be spending learning to get to know their inner selves instead of fulfilling their lust. Chastity changes this relationship because it is no longer based on the notion that sex is a really ordinary activity, or that one's body and soul are not special enough to keep for one's spouse. When you adopt chastity, your partner is treated accordingly. The other person is no longer a source of physical pleasure, but a person to be appreciated simply and utterly for personality-- not for looks, not for sexual performance, not for any externals. Because you view your partner differently, the relationship changes. Just as you do not choose friends based on looks or sexual performance, but simply for the joy they bring from their company, you choose your spouse the same way based one the presumptions implicit in chastity.
Naysayers will insist that they do not choose their partners for these external reasons. They are usually sincere in their statements. But what they do not realize is that chastity takes this respect to a higher degree. Whatever detachment they've developed is heightened; chastity purifies the soul's vision so that you see them more and more for who they are, and with this realisation of who they are comes a greater respect-- because you know that to know a person is to love that person.
Of course there will be cynics who will claim that all this is a bunch of junk and that sex is just too fun to give up. They presume somehow that self-respect and other abstract things like honesty, truth and transparency of the person simply do not contribute as much to happiness as `sexual liberation.` This is simply ludicrous. It is only when one realizes that virtue leads to happiness that one can adopt chastity. Until one realizes that virtue is consistent with the needs of the soul can one know happiness.
WHAT DOES CHASTITY MEAN?
Those who hate chastity would have you believe it is the unnatural repression of natural desires-- that chastity is an oppressive kind of sexuality. Catholics know that there is very little repression involved because it simply doesn't work very well. You would eventually explode. This is a false kind of chastity. When one lives chastity in an authentic manner, it cannot feel repressive; it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Authentic chastity in my opinion consists of three elements.
1) avoidance of sin;
2) avoidance of temptation
3) purity of heart
1. Avoidance of Sin
Avoiding sexual intercourse is not even a minimum requirements. One must also avoid all stimulation of the genitals-- one's own or another's-- even if there is no intention to go all the way. Petting and intercourse cheat your future spouse of that part of you which you share with others. Your sexual activity no longer is reserved for the most special person in the world. A couple can still impart affection, so long as they do not get carried away. One must also avoid television programs, magazines and books which depict explicit sexual acts and all pornography. Sex is a private matter between two people, and exposing it to the world cheapens it into a side show. Part of the gift of sex is that you do not share it with anyone else including an audience: exposure demeans its intimacy.
2. Avoidance of temptation
The renouncement of temptation is an important step to take once you've overcome sin. Testing your resistance to sexual stimulation is a sure-fire means of falling into a trap. If you do it long enough, you will eventually sin. It's up to each couple to discern what constitutes for them a temptation, but there should be no embarrassment in revealing potential problems to dating partners: otherwise you shouldn't be dating. There should be no hesitation in withdrawing hands where they do not belong, avoiding kisses in sensitive areas or reducing ardour when demonstrating affection. It is not a sign of being weak or lame. It is doing what must be done to respect oneself and one's dating partner.
There should also be a concerted effort to shun television shows, reading material and music with explicit sexual references that are counter-chastity. They may or may not be wrong in themselves; but there is no reason to allow the opportunity for lust to plant its seed. Harbouring lust in one's heart makes chastity extremely difficult at times.
One should also not speak about sexual matters except in a manner consistent with chastity as it reinforces whatever impurity that remains in your heart. There is nothing wrong with discussing sex, but it shouldn't be done in a vulgar attitude, or to unnecessarily stimulate the imagination.
3. Purity of heart
Up to this point, chastity has been very boring. It consists of 'avoid this, shun that'. A life of happiness cannot be built of `thou shalt nots'. Those who are against chastity emphasize the first two elements, but do not understand this part. The only way to really understand purity of heart is to live it. This is what makes chastity worth it. Without purity of heart, chastity is one big THOU SHALT NOT.
Elizabeth from Cleveland testifies 'Chastity a burden? No, it's quite the opposite, it's light. It lets you free from all the chains of sin, and lets you see things in their right perspective.'
Purity of heart is the ability to see as God sees, that is, in the right manner. When God created the human soul, he made it so that it would attain happiness when united to him. And one means of achieving this unionis try to see things as he does. When the soul unites herself to God's will in discerning what is beautiful and good in human sexuality, she cannot help feel a sense of elevation and happiness that no earthly pleasure can accord her. It is as if the heavy scales of lust fall off one's eyes and one feels a glowing sense of the inherent beauty of sexual innocence and intimacy. When this sense of purity imbues your mind, you cannot but reject any *thought* of giving it up for sinful pleasures, knowing that engaging in them, you will lose the beauty you will feel inside yourself; that you will corrupt the unadulterated love you have for your partner. Engaging in sexual activity would bearing the heavy yoke of lust, and forsaking the lightness of purity.
Purity of heart goes beyond avoiding sin and temptation. The pure meditate on the beauty of love, marriage and chastity, by reading books and articles which expound their virtues. In doing so, the pure develop a greater appreciation for the chastity that they live. As they grow to understand the beauty of marriage, their wait appears to be all the more worthwhile. This understanding, this meditation strengthens their fortitude, so that they become more resistant to sin, and less embarrassed about being honest in their sexuality, and demanding that dating partners respect their choices.
GREAT, BUT HOW DO YOU DO IT?
Chastity looks hard-- and sometimes it is. But it can also be easy. There are things you can do to help make it easier-- avoiding temptation and bad influences. But even then there are times when temptation comes out of the blue without even being exposed to it.
The thing to remember is that you are not alone in this battle. 'Anyone trying to be chaste by self effort is doomed to failure ' says Tom from the UK . ' It demands total commitment of your life to Christ and then sex assumes its proper perspective.' In order to live a perfect chastity, it is important to ask God for the grace to help you out-- remember, God said 'ask, and you shall receive'. God cannot withhold this grace from us: he is the one who demands chastity from us. Chastity also requires recourse to the sacraments-- the Eucharist and confession-- so that God can help you strengthen your resolve. If you make the decision become chaste, even if it only feels like a weak 'yes'-- God will help you with the rest. But he needs for you to say yes to him in order for his grace to work within you. So long as you commit yourself to chastity, God will always work his grace in you to strengthen you.
And with this grace, you come to experience purity of heart. Where a woman's low-cut cleavage was as mundane as brushing your teeth, it will naturally become offensive to you, not because of the potential temptation it poses, but because of the lustful seduction it represents. Repelling sin and all its manifestations will seem natural-- and this due mostly because of your acceptance of God's grace.
WHO'LL DATE ME?
When you're friends with people who are sexually active, you can get the impression that you're the only 'loser' who isn't getting any, and that no one will never date you because you won't go 'that far' with your date, and so no one will ever date you, therefore love you and so chastity is not worth it.
In our sex-saturated society, it is very easy to get that impression, especially in high school, where you tend to be exposed to the same predominating ideas. The truth of the matter is, there are lots of people who are committed to chastity. You just have to think of the growing popularity of pro-chastity groups like 'True Love Waits'.
The problem is that chaste people don't wear a sign advertizing their sexual choices. They are sometimes hard to find. They are like you, looking for people to date. They can be found in church groups and church-related groups.
You can also rely on God to help you in your search. If God has destined you for the vocation of marriage, you can be sure he has someone in mind with whom he wants you to share that vocation. Marriage is not a vocation in a vacuum-- it is the vocation of being married to a particular person. Therefore, if there comes a time when it is difficult to find a good mate, you can be sure that God will find someone for you.
IS CHASTITY REALLY WORTH IT?
Definitely.
There are good concrete reasons to become chaste. The two most most important are pregnancy and STD's. Twelve million Americans get sexually transmitted diseases every year. There are approximately 350 000 teen pregnancies every year in the United States (Source: Information Please Almanac, 1996). Yes, there are ways of reducing considerably the likelihood of these events. Unfortunately, these methods are not full-proof, and they cost money. There are people who still manage to get sick or pregnant in spite of taking precautions. Any honest health care provider will tell you this. For instance, according to Planned Parenthood Ottawa's web page, a condom is 90% effective against pregnancy *when used properly*, which means there is always a 10% chance o fpregnancy. Even with Depo Provera, there is a 3 in a 1000 chance of getting pregnant. Health care experts agree that the only surefire manner of avoiding pregnancy and STD's is to say no to sex all together before marriage.
Aside from the health benefits, there are also psychological benefits. Chastity is a means to greater peace of mind as it simplifies life immensely. No worrying about how much you're getting, birth control, scoring, etc. There is more time to appreciate the precious things in life: conversation, taking walks, hanging out, exchanging ideas-- the sharing of one's inner self.
Chastity also leads to a more acute appreciation of marriage and sexuality. As you come to know and love someone more through chastity, one comes to realize the preciousness of one's beloved. As love intensifies, sex becomes more precious and comes to symbolize the love itself. The intensity of emotions corresponds exactly to the intensity of one's love. Marriage is no longer just a contract, but a life of loving and total commitment to the authenticity of this love.
Chastity also has the advantage of testing the sincerity of the potential dating partners. A person's love should never be dependent on whether or not he or she will have sex. It should depend on commitment and values, not on the performance of an act. If your partner loves you, there will be positively no pressure to have sex. If there is, you *know* that person isn't loving you in the way you deserved to be loved.
BUT I'M NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE...
It doesn't matter. Virginity makes achieving chastity easier because there is nothing in your experience to remind you of sexual feelings. But lost virginity is no reason to give up a sensible sexual practice which leads to greater peace of mind and a more stable relationship. It may be somewhat harder, but it is completely possible with God's grace, as Saint Augustine testifies in his Confessions. He led a dissolute life until his conversion, but finally mastered his passions by calling upon God's grace.
FURTHER TESTIMONY....
I couldn't use all the testimonies of my net friends, so I am adding it as an appendix to this article.
'If you are willing to wait until marriage to give yourself to your spouse that shows you have respect for yourself, and respect for the other person. A lot of these kids have no self esteem or respect for themselves, which is an excellent starting point. Self Respect and Self Esteem, that it is ok to wait, that they are WORTH waiting for.'
--Elizabeth from Cleveland.
'I lived that way until my wedding night, did things the way you describe, and I was very happy with my life, also because I knew that my husband to be, loved me and was willing to wait. Keep it up, it is not a lost cause, only you really have to reach out to very young kids because unfortunately there are many sad experiences with sex even before they reach their teens. A friend of mine once told me I had been an inspiration to her because I could go through school in California without getting involved in sex-seeking. Most people though may admire you and not say because they just thing they cannot do it'
--Vicky
'When I was in high school and all through college, I was so busy with activities, homework, and projects that I didn't care to be bothered with the thought of having sex. Not to mention the friends I had that were having their lives screwed up because of it. (pregnancy, std's, and those that gave themselves to someone, and soon after had their heart broken.) Who needs all that extra stress!! I was too busy. This may be hard to believe but I really didn't concern myself with it that much because in my heart I knew what was right for me. The thoughts that I had regarding sex was that the love and respect I had for myself and my husband (whomever he was chosen to be ) was too great to want to experience that sort of intimacy with anyone else.'
--Nicole
'I was asked by my RE class recently about pre-marital sex. They laughed when I admitted that I had not had sex before I was married at 25. What they do not see, as a result of modern perceptions of sex, is that sex is more than sexual intercourse. The attraction between male and female is sexual. The pleasures of each other's company are sexual. Youngsters have no view of a growing sexual encounter which blossoms in marriage. They have only been told about HAVING SEX not about their sexuality and how to understand it. Let's be honest, there are all sorts of causes of frustration in life and sex can be one of them. Sex is the one which is forbidden and so it seems to be most important.'
--Joe from the UK.
' If chastity is looked on as a burden, then the focus of the person's life is in need of repair. This usually happens when sex is seen as an end in itself. You have to get it. After a date, may are asked, 'Did you get any?' It is like buying a commodity, or finding it for free. A sense of sacredness and morality is completely absent. Chastity is a gift, one you give the one you love as a most precious and sacred gift. It is given as the most special gift one can give to their spouse. It is so very special because it is the culmination of a spiritual marriage, as well as a consummation of a physical marriage. Scripture tells us that the two become one. In reality, three become one, for, in a sacramental marriage, there is a spiritual union of the two people who take on a spiritual one-ness, and the force, the glue, that makes them one is the Spirit of God Himself. Husband, wife, and the Spirit form a spiritual unit that is inseparable, yet each person retains their own unique identity. It is the closest thing we have to the Trinity, and the Trinity becomes part of the union. God becomes a part of all we do. Real love between the husband and wife incorporates all the elements of absolute trust. All that God is, we share in through this union. He becomes a participant in all our decisions, all our joys, all our sorrows, all our anxieties. He becomes the answer to our many questions. He becomes the solution to our problems. To the extent we exclude Him from intimate participation in our lives as husband and wife, we wound Him.
Chastity is the one precious gift we can give our spouse, and God, that no one else on this earth can give. It is given in love, and not sought for self-centered motivations. If sex become something we seek to get, if it is looked on as something to gain like a prize, then chastity becomes a burden. It is like trying not to take a piece of candy from the bowl in front of you. But if it is viewed as the very precious gift that you bring to another, then the self-seeking is not a factor, and the preciousness leads you to reserve it for the one you will spend you life with. If it is distributed among many, it's value has been diminished in both your eyes and theirs, the participation by God in the relationship has been ill-considered, and what you bring to the marriage is the lack of a sense of the sacredness of the gift.
One thing I do think, though, is that in the case of someone who has lost their virginity, chastity can be recovered to an extent spiritually, if not physically. If they have a conversion, for example, and they now understand the sacredness of their person and this gift, they may be able to recover spiritually what was lost physically, and still be able to present this gift as it should be given. This takes a major reassessment of their person, their worth as a child of God, the sacredness of His gifts and ours to Him, and the trust and fidelity it takes to engage in this exclusivity as a very precious thing between you as spouses, and have a deep conviction of this with regard to each other. This does not happen overnight. It is impossible for one immersed in the world and placing things out of this world in an all-important place in their lives, for there is absolutely nothing in this world that will place a value on sex as discussed here. The only question most often asked is whether you had to wait until the second date. Sex viewed as a gift, as sacred as sharing in the life of God within you, is not seen anywhere in society today, and not at any time in the last 30 or 40 years. It is a pathetic loss to society.'
--Jim
' We can't sell people on things like chastity because it requires a certain amount of suffering. We must first help in the conversion process of young people. To help them understand the value in denying ourselves of things for God. They must come to know that God will turn our sufferings to joy! I know for me, that coming to understand the value, when united with Christ, of suffering has made sense of the world. I'm still in awe of this fact; no matter how rotten things seem, no matter how unjust, by simply loving God it has immense value.'
--Kevin, age 29, from Nova Scotia
' I am a 20 year old single woman. I have not decisively ruled out any particular vocation, although I am currently dating an extremely wonderful guy. I am Catholic, a pastoral ministry major at St. Mary's University in Winona, Minnesota, U.S.A.
[snip]
' The close friends I had in high school made chastity a relatively easy choice. It was, for us, the socially acceptable thing to do. Although not all of my friends were committed to chastity, enough of them were that I found support among them. I became interested in promulgating abstinence especially after listening to Pam Stenzel, an excellent speaker, give a talk on the consequences of sexual activity. I already knew much of what she said was true, and she compellingly reinforced what I already believed, enough to put me on the 'campaign' and vocalize my commitment to abstinence.
' There are physical consequences to sex: pregnancy and STD's aren't something sexually active people can ignore. I was/am not ready to deal with becoming a parent, placing a child with an adoptive family, and I can't even consider abortion. I don't want to make those kind of financial sacrifices, and I can't handle it, emotionally. I have dreams for my future; having a child would drastically alter those. Additionally, STD's are devastating, causing pain, humiliation, and possibly future difficulty in having children.
' Emotional consequences to sex also keep me on the abstinence track. I am not ready to give of myself so intimately to another person. If the person I have sex with rejects me (i.e. ends the dating relationship), I am sure I would have an incredibly difficult time recovering. I have a tough enough time moving on when someone I care about doesn't have the same esteem of me; if I were to have made myself completely vulnerable in a sexual sense, I would despair even more greatly.
'Additionally, I am unprepared to deal with spiritual consequences to non-marital sex. I know that having sex is not the best choice for me in my life right now, and when I do things that are not good for me, like become sexually active, it makes God sad for me.
'Deciding to abstain has not been a one-time decision for me, nor has it always been easy to stick by. There have been times, usually 'in the heat of the moment' when I have thought that being committed to abstinence sucks and want to change my mind. When my hormones are under control, I realize again that I am GLAD that I do not have to deal with the consequences of sex. My current task in my discovery of my sexuality is to determine 'how far' is too far, to determine what I can't do because I will become too sexually aroused.
'Most of my peers respect my decision to abstain from sex until I am married (assuming I get married), and it has not appeared to have adverse effects on my social life or ability to find dates (my roommates can tell you some funny stories).
'People talk about sex all of the time, but it seems rare that anyone says anything of profound personal insight or meaning. I often find that when unmarried sexually active people talk about sex, it is without the respect which the topic deserves. They often degrade themselves, their sexuality, their sexual expression, love, and each other when they speak of sex in a casual or meaningless way. When disrespectful sexually loaded conversations arise around me, I usually try to change the subject or (at the risk of sounding 'holier than thou') somehow express my disgust with the way the topic is headed. If people are involved in a mature conversation, I listen and learn and ask questions. Sex fascinates me. (If I go on to get my master's someday, I am currently thinking I would like to study sexual theology, if such a program exists. And if it doesn't, it should.)
'When I look for a person I want to spend the rest of my life with, it will be someone who has proven his ability to be committed--my marriage will be, after all, a lifelong commitment. His abstinence from sex is one way to 'prove' his ability to be true to me. I would be oh-so honored to find out that the man I want to marry has respected me enough--without even knowing me!--to not have sex with anyone else but me.
'This isn't to say I won't date people who aren't virgins. One of my favorite ex-boyfriends is a guy who has had sex with more people than he can remember. But he knows from experience that indiscriminate sex is harmful to all involved.
'I mentioned earlier that I am in a relationship with a wonderful man who, like me, has never had sex with anyone, and believes firmly in abstinence. I have never been in a more open, comfortable relationship in my life--but then, I don't think I have ever seriously dated anyone who saw the beauty in saving sex for marriage, either. We can talk openly about and evaluate the things we do physically (kissing, etc.), and what we should and shouldn't do, mistakes we've made, mistakes we don't want to make, and how to make our relationship healthier and more intimate. He is a dear friend of mine and I respect him greatly as a person. I may spend the rest of my life with him, but I'm not placing any bets either way. We enjoy each other's company and help each other to grow, and that is what dating and relationships are all about.'
--Tracy
'Sadly, 6 months into marriage [my husband] started to stray. This was late 60's early 70's, the ME generation. I remained faithful to him until after I had my two children. Then, over the course of 2 years ( as my husband was still being unfaithful) I began having sexual encounters with many different men, until I finally came to my senses and left my husband. But, unfortunately my sexual appetite had awakened and in hind sight I was only looking for love ( in all the wrong places). So even in a different town, I continued having sexual encounters. I never found a man who was willing to just love me. Things didn't change until one night, after my Father had died. I had begun to go to Mass, because of my children, I had not gone to Mass for about 7 yrs. while I was married. This one night, I had a dream that I still remember vividly today, approximately 18 yrs ago.
The dream: I was in the back of a church, I looked in the Holy Water font and the water was all dirty and their was a small crucifix at the bottom of it. ( the dirty water represented my life) Then I looked up and Jesus, life size was standing before me scourged and bleeding with a crown of thorns on his head. He spoke to me ' Caroline, I love you, I DIED FOR YOU' I fell to my knees, and started sobbing, by this time I was awake and I was crying, and I continued to cry for three days, and all the while Jesus was pouring His love on me, a love I had never felt before. It was the very beginning of long healing process that took another 6 or 7 yrs. During this time I continued to have sex, but I really began to Know how displeasing this was to God.
'Finally, one night, in tears, I knelt by my bed to beg Jesus to take this from me, and He did. He took the desire away. I began my second virginity, and I praise and thank the Lord for this healing of such a broken soul.
'I have rediscovered a love for myself, a new respect for myself that I had lost along that terrible highway. Jesus snatched me back from this terrible grip that Satan had on me. Although I still sometimes have to struggle with temptation towards masterbation, I now know how to combat it, I'm not alone. My dear Mother in Heaven is the one I seek now during temptation, and she helps me overcome them every time.
'The road to Heaven IS a difficult one, with many bumps and obstacles, but with His help we Can overcome them.
'You may ask, are you sorry you remained a virgin before getting married? No, my only mistake was in my choice in a husband. I was not ready for marriage, even if I was 21. The only advice I can give, is that you make sure that you are ready spiritually, emotionally for this wonderful call to marriage. Remain a virgin, it is the greatest gift you can give to a husband or wife. If you don't remain a virgin you are cheating your spouse of such a precious gift of yourself, pure and clean. Also, be careful of the choice you make for a spouse, be sure that the choice you make is also God's choice, I never asked God what his will was for me when I was young, and I didn't ask him about my choice for a spouse and look what happened.
Now at the age of 50, I am living in peace knowing what His will is for me.'
--Caroline from Ontario.
'It actually brought us closer together, to see each other in more respect, become more friends, than just sex partners. My husband(boyfriend at the time) actually was really for it, and things in our relationship started to heal, and I believe that it was through being chaste helped a lot. It brought back the respect of each other, that we didn't have before. We looked at each other in a different light, and the relationship grew.'
--Elizabeth from Cleveland
'I choose 'dating partners' based on how much they respect me. If they care enough to spend our time doing other things besides sleeping together, then I will stay with them. I have had relationships that lasted 1-2 years because I met guys who said they would wait for me, even though they had already had sexual experiences.
I think my life has been enhanced by my decision to stay pure. I think it gives me more self-esteem, and more self-respect, and it helps me keep my standards high. I am a unique person, as many boys have told me, and I think that they are impressed by my strength. Those that dump me because I don't put out weren't worthy of my attention in the first place!
I think that sexual experience does dampen the wedding nigh experience, because it takes away the sanctity and also the anticipation of it. I also think that if your partner has slept with other people, it would be impossible for them to be thinking only of you without making comparisons to past partners...
Lastly, I deal with sexual temptation by breaking up with the guy I am with. As silly as that sounds, it is all I can do to get away from it. We usually end up getting back together after I have cooled off which sounds mean, but it is the best I can do. I do not masturbate or watch porns or anything of that nature!
Krista, age 19, from New Orleans
--Suzanne Fortin
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