That was a weird play!
Wait a minute!
That hit the bat twice!
That should be a foul ball!
Here comes Piniella out!
That hit the bat twice!
Now he's saying he's off the bag!
Son of a gun!
I can't believe that!
Let's look at this!
Look at that!
That ball came up and hit the bat!
Twice!
White, where were you when we needed you?
Champion
Remember that fellow I told you.
Champ Marble?
Champ Marble.
He's a hundred and two years old.
When he was a hundred years old I told you.
Last year he was a hundred and one.
This year he is a hundred and two.
Played golf with him over at Upper Montclair Country Club
He's probably in bed now.
A little low.
One ball, two strikes.
His name is Champ Marble.
James F. Marble to be exact.
I mean really a tremendous man.
He doesn't wear glasses.
No hearing aid.
Sees better than me.
Hits better than me.
Better than me.
High and tight.
Two and two.
F.Y.I.
A little high.
Two balls
No strikes.
Riverview Medical Center
Is down the Jersey shore.
Three balls
No strikes.
This Planet Warm and Human
Mia.
Now Mia's been a very popular
Name in the newspapers lately,
Murcer.
I mean.
That took the headline.
Unbelievable!
Only in New York
Would it take the headlines away.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
Terrible.
Terrible what's happening in that situation
And with all that going on down in Florida.
Boy.
They're still showing those pictures on TV
Of the damage down in Florida
By the way,
Are we going to Florida today,
Moore?
O that's in for a base hit!
Two runs will score!
No they won't.
Asylum
Got some chocolate-chip cookies here
Murcer.
So don't ask me any questions
For a batter or so.
All right?
They Own The Wind
i tell ya,
did you take notice of the flag?
i couldn't believe it.
just as jim rice came to the plate,
the wind started blowing to left field.
it not only helped yastrzemski's homer,
but it hurt jackson's,
the wind was blowing to right field
when jackson hit the fly ball,
when yaz hit the homer
the wind was blowing to left field,
kept it from going foul.
strike one to piniella.
somebody told me
the red sox control the elements up here
i didn't believe 'em until today
These Heaters
They're no good.
Because at my height
It goes over my head
And hits the guy in back of me.
I mean...
They were not built,
These heaters were not built
For normal human beings.
They were built for people like Seaver.
Poem For The Last Picture Show
Wait a minute, that's right!
He's from this little town.
And the cars, he said.
They ride up and down on Main Street all night.
And they never get out of their cars.
And that's the way it was in that movie.
With those old model, old...
O, that was really an excellent picture.
Haiku
Ice, I can't stand it.
I cannot stand anything
Cold on my body.
Polonia's Hair
I
Lookit.
I gotta tell my barber on Monday,
"Don't gimme a Polonia haircut."
Holy cow!
II
That's the latest style.
It's just like
When new styles come out for women.
They wear it no matter how weird it looks.
They'll wear it 'cause it's a new style.
III
Gonna get the women mad at me.
I'll think of something.
What?
I got another half minute
To think of something
To get out of this.
Mythkill
I'll say that a lot:
"Tonight,
We're going down to Florida."
And they think
I fly to Florida.
And go down,
See the kids.
And come back the next day.
Dickie Poem Number Two
Wait!
I never finished
This story about Dickie Thon!
I told you I played ball
With his grandfather.
And
And he was so on the ball.
When he went to Puerto Rico
He realized they didn't
Have washing machines.
Things we had in the States.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...
The son of a gun!
Hit the grounder.
I'll have to finish the story
Next home stand.
Three up.
Three down.
Go Ahead, Seaver
You know,
Some kid wrote me a letter.
You and Murcer,
I know,
Every time Murcer says
I make oh for four and two errors.
Some guy wrote,
Which I haven't gotten yet,
He wrote it to Yankee Stadium,
But by the way
You're doing the play-by-play, Seaver.
So go ahead.
I was gonna tell you something,
But I forgot what it was.
Go ahead.
Vincent
O wait a minute
You gotta take one shot of this.
'Cause this is a true...
This is,
This is true,
I was,
Say...
That?
HEY THAT'S VINCENT GARDENIA!
HEY!
O he was in Death Wish.
With Charles Bronson
He was mean.
And he really got shot up.
Holy Cow.
Mere Anarchy Is Loosed upon the World
I tell ya,
Before long,
Football starts.
This weekend
In seriousness.
And pretty soon
It'll be hockey
And then basketball.
And then baseball
Will still
Be going on.
And it'll be
Very confusing,
Very confusing.
Copyright 1993 by Phil Rizzuto
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