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Beddy-Byes is spoken by a sentient mollusc-like people living in the methane oceans of the fifth planet of Deneb.

It would be futile to use the IPA, or any other phonetic alphabet, to represent the sounds of Beddy-Byes, as those sounds are produced by organs somewhat resembling the jet-propulsion organs of our own Terran squids. Only one variety to Beddy-Byes is known, being that spoken, or rather, gurgled, by the schools near the southern shores of the land mass known to us as Nova Scotia. I shall call this language "Nova Scotia".

Nova Scotia has 82 phonemes. We could represent them by numbers, from 1 to 82. But for human pronounceability reasons, I shall represent them by combinations of one consonant followed by one vowel. Thus: ba, be, bi, bo, bu, ca... and so on.

Nova Scotia syntax -- and grammar -- is, according to Nova Scotian scholars, wholly accounted for in one single rule: the determinant is embedded in the determinded. Embedding occurs always immediately after the first phoneme. Thus, if English syntax were like that of Nova Scotian, "one fat cat" /w@n fat kat/ would be: /kfw@natat/. Or, for a Nova Scotian example: "one juicy fish":

giving:

whence:

Or, since in Nova Scotia, the order of determinant is purely semantically determined, so that you can say "juicy one fish" as easily as "one juicy fish": lo-ka-muhikana-be-hi

Most Nova Scotian words being diphonemic (or, in this representation, disyllabic), it is not really so bad as it seems. More on Nova Scotian later, maybe

PS. The most commonly used native name for Nova Scotia is pehokanigokeqabiqoba, consisting of:

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  • Inoffensish (Newspeak for the Politically Correct)
  • Sir Bedevere (Is Language Infinite?)
  • Zikamu (Are All Languages Equally Complex?)

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