WHAT THE HELL IS BIG CORN OAR?

Frankly, we really don't know for sure, but we do must know many great things of its regarding.
Among these great knowledges include;

Big Corn Oar is made of Space Titanium, over which lies a strange oak veneer.
Big Corn Oar is, curiously, not from space.
Big Corn Oar's primary (and possibly only) function is to rid the Universe of Big Corn,
Big Corn has Big Red Straps.
We must need Big Corn Oar, therefore we must need Big Corn.
We don't want Big Corn: hell, we don't even WANT Big Corn Oar!
Big Corn Oar is duty, franchise, next door.
Next door is a metaphor (as well as the actual physical location of Big Corn Oar)
which eludes to a, rare, heightened state of consciousness, in which one can fully comprehend the insane
magnificence of Big Corn Oar.
Big Corn Oar is more than just your future.
You can use Big Corn Oar on Giant Corn, too - it's just not as effective.
Big Corn Oar is where you find it.
You shouldn't smoke Big Corn; you can't smoke Big Corn Oar.
Big Corn Oar has mass.