WHAT IS GIANT CORN ?

If you think Big Corn will destroy your geans, well, so will Giant Corn.
Giant Corn is the product of an insidious Soviet plot to destroy Capitalist designer Jeanes.
The Soviets (a.k.a. "the Russians") were capable of synthesizing Giant Corn as early as 1992.
They first designed truly Giant Corn, and gradually began to miniaturize the Giant breed until
finally reaching the dimensions of juicy, everyday Corn. Hoping to deceive a Corn eating public,
they will, and indeed did, then switch this super-potent Miniaturized Giant Corn with the real thing.
The resultant reduction in quantity of available American Jeans raises Black Market prices throughout Asia,
thus greatly profiting the chicken heads who are profiting from my inability to finish this sentence,
namely, the Russians mentioned in this very paragraph.