Here is my face. It's not pretty but it's all mine.
If you're reading this then you obviously want lots of details about me. Where can I start? In 1971 I didn't even exist, and by 1973 I was answering my parents back. Then I discovered computers, and then I discovered girls. Then I discovered that girls don't like computers. If you are a girl and you like computers, my answer is yes, I will marry you. :)
How would I describe myself now? Lets see... I like to drive right up behind people's bumpers, but I can't because I only have a Volkswagen Polo. I support Aberdeen Football Club, who are still in the Premier Division. I don't see the point of Noel Edmonds or Internet home pages. I like films like Dead Poets Society, although there aren't any. Somehow I always wanted to be Paul Simon, who always wanted to be Elvis.
I think I must enjoy being wrong. Some people say I can be witty. I used to be a nerd but now I'm really well-rounded and everybody loves me. Four people in total have called me an asshole, but they were all assholes, I swear. If you want to learn about my really exciting job in the computing industry, click here.
My life is a metaphor for me, and if that isn't meaningless shite I don't know what is. But feel free to read some of my enlightening poetry which hardly makes you vomit at all.
Death threats can be addressed to mypowder@rocketmail.com, but please bear in mind I can't hope to reply to every death threat I receive.
There, you know me really well now. I wish I did.
Nanu nanu,
Michael.