I would never have made it through this time if it were'nt for my family (moms shoulder is probably still wet from all the tears of frustration and anger I left there) and my best friend Bill and his girlfriend Melanie (the two of them were constantly dragging me out of my house...we went to a lot of dance clubs where I did very little dancing but a lot of drinking...)
These people gave me my reasons to live but it was when Rosie started to appear on my computer screen that I started to want more than just to live....I wanted to love and be loved again and I wanted to be happy...

Well I have the love I wanted now...and much more....I am marrying Rosie this August and I will have a family of my own because she has 3 children from her previous marriage (the way they act sometimes you might even think they were mine...LOL)....and I'm happier than I've ever been...even though I dont always show it to her...and I know now what love is like when it comes from both sides.....and Rosie, everytime you read this please remeber this....

I'll love you forever-and-a-day

Please read the following

Everyone is entitled to thier own opinion....the following is mine...I ask for neither your approval or your acceptance...and if you dont like what I have to say there is a very simple solution.....LEAVE!

But no matter what life throws at me, good or bad, I believe everything happens for a reason....I may not understand or even know that reason and quite often I find myself not wanting to accept it.....but I still know there is a reason for it and deep inside I know my life will go on wether I want it to or not...

Most people go to a relegion of one kind or another for thier reasons behind these.....I myself wear a cross around my neck and upon ocassion have been known to pray with it...the only problem is I've never been sure who I'm praying to or why exactly, why should I or any other person for that matter receive special treatment?

I believe in God...or at least I think I do...I believe in something, I just dont know what to call it...my problem with believing in God is this....if God created man, who created God?...we are supposed to be created in his image, well who's image was he created in?
I understand why people seek and accept relegion....it gives a sense of belonging and a feeling that there is more to life than just living....but more importantly it provides answers to things that are unexplainable it says "this is why you are here and this is what you are supposed to try and accomplish and if anything else comes along just remember its out of your hands....oh and in the mean time we'll go on a pay as you sin basis to save your soul, that or a flat percentage...whichever is more..."

What I dont understand is how anyone can follow a relegion blindly...how they can ignore what is in front of there eyes and say no thats not how my God says it is and anyone who says differently is wrong....or how anyone can say my relegion is the only true relegion and everyone else is wrong.....

I dont believe relegion is a bad thing...its just that I've had bad experiences with it, although my experiences are centered mostly with the Mormon Relegion.....having spent most of my life in Utah (the base of the LDS Church) and not being a Mormon myself, I have experienced relegious bigotry at most every level. I am not saying that all Mormons are bad people or anything like that....I have had many good friends that were Mormons, and I dont know if I just grew accustomed to it or if the problem got better but I noticed it less over the years as I grew up...I would go so far as to say that there are times I even thought it didnt matter anymore.....untill I fell in love with and wanted to marry a Mormon girl (she is the mother of my son, he was given up for adoption because simply put she didnt want him and she didnt want me to have him, so I did what I thought in was in his best interest...he was adopted by a mormon family andI hope he grows up to make his own decisions based on how he feels and not on what his parents' Church tells him...I hope he turns out to be a good person....and that he is nothing like his biological mother!)...and found that the disapproval for others, the seperation from, and I would go as far to say hatred for non Mormons still exists as strongly as it ever has.......

To be fair to other relegions I'll say this....Mormonism is more of an accult than it is anything else (any of my mormon friends who read this hopefully understand the way I feel and know it has nothing to do with them) it is run like a business....they advertise on telivision and buy interest in other companies to finace themselves further...they own a television station where the news broadcasts reflect the churches opinion.....buy even better is the hypocracy behind it all....the LDS church used to tell its followers not to drink beverages with caffeine in them and yet the owned part of the Pepsi Cola botteling plant in Salt Lake City and untill the 1970's it didnt acknowledge that Black people had souls.....I was once told by a mormon that everyone starts out in heaven and only the good people get sent to mormon familys and once we die we all go back to heaven...not necessarily the same part depending on how good we are...to make babys for all eternity with the heavenly father and mother.....

If you have a differing opinion from mine that is fine with me and you are entitled to believe anything you want...but please keep it to yourself, if I want to know what it is I'll be sure to find and go read your web page some day