Dear Michael,
I really, REALLY need your gentle, sage wisdom right now. I am being eaten away by consummate anger, so volatile that I feel unsafe. I am furious because a good friend of my mother's and mie died last week and it should have been me, not her! I know how this sounds, but please hear me out" Fifty-two-year-old Christine had EVERYTHING to live for; a loving husband, two young sons, a brand new house and an intense desire to live. Why, why, WHY did she succumb to cancer and I am still here, a pestulance, a useless piece of dried-up crap that should be cast in the nearest dumpster! Oh, Michael, it just HURTS so much!"

You would look at me with those sky-blue eyes, framed with long, curling lashes, and reply in somber but hopeful tones. "You know--you are greiving for your own loss. Your friend Chris is out of her pain--you told me before she had bone and lung cancer, so she is in a better, more comfortable place. Try and thnk of Chris and how relieved she is and let that anger, a pure waste of energy, just evaporate".

"I bet you said somethig like that to Courtney Love too, huh,Michael?"

"No. Not Courtney, because Kurt could have been saved. It sucks that he's dead and the same with young River. Nothing is more of a waste than either suicide or a drug overdose. You canot compare the two, Jane. They are separate entities altogether".

"But, Michael, sometimes it hurts so much I just want to die. Memories of horrid hospital wards, so many scarr on my body that it looks pure white and reddish, and the hell I feel for putting my familuy through years of anguish".

"What exactly are you so angry about? You have a wonderful home with a loving mother, a book coming out next month, and aside from your emotional problems, you aren't suffering from Multiple Schlerosis or Lou Gherig's Disease. I think you are pretty damned lucky, young miss".

"Young miss???? Nobody's called me that in awhile. Thanks. I guess you're right, but why is it you understand Kurt's pain and forgive him for killing himself for God's sake! And you treat me like some spoiled brat!: Michael smiled in that inimitiable way, although I was not in the mood for cajoling. "You're nothing but a hypocrite! I cannot believe that I am saying this to YOU of all people, but dammit, Michae;, I'm in pain too!! Did you know that I have taken numerous overdoses, naerly slashed myself three ne times....shall I go on or are you getting the picture, genius?" "Jane, Jane, Jane----just listen to yourself. This isn't some macabr "contest" between you and Kurt, or River either, for that matter. You, unlike them, are a survior of despair. Those two weren't. They gave and tossed in the proverial towel. Now, if you don't mind me saying so, I kind of like you despite your well-coiled spring and deadkly snakebite". I had to smile, all so slightly, but then my anger returned with a vengeance."Don't you feel badly for me at ALL????"

"Ah,so that's it' We're at a "pity party". Well, sorry dear,but I don't DO those morbid events. I say the same thing to Courtney when the whining starts. I would be doing you a gross disservice to you if I were to feed into your neuroses".

Well, it took some time, but finally Michael Stipe, dressed in jeans and a well-worn tee shirt, the one with the star from the "What's The Frequency, Kenneth" video. I hadn't even noticed before, livid as i was. "Well, Michael, I've bet you have met kids with a more mature atttude than mine.

"Well, some I guess...are you still angry?" I'll always carry that baggage. It goes way back to early, early years. But I guess you can't hold grudgses, can we?" "If I did, I'd be a bundle of them," Michael smiled, putting his baseball cap on. "Well, work on it. Someday you will forgive, but not forget. Take care, Jane'. When Michael left, I wasn't sure if I'd been dreaming or what. Bu then I noticed something on the the table, something that looked like pieces of well-worn paper. Picking them up, I was delighted to see that it was the original draft to "Everyody Hurts". I will bet that wasn't easy to give up.

Suddenly, my rage melted into joy. Once more, Michael and R.E.M., had rescued me from j myself.

I get a lesson in "anger management from none other than Michael Stipe. What secrets does he have hidden deep inside?