*~ The following is a series of 3 mass distributed e-mails which were sent on the 9th of May, 1999. I'd been receiving many surveys that contained questions such as: "what's your fave color?" and "have you ever been skinny dipping?" I'd become ill with such inherent triviality and needed an outlet. The following e-mail proved sufficient. Contained herein is my outlook on life in the United States as well as my opinion on the mental state of this great nation of ours. ~*
Introduction to Survey:
Hello~
For the last 10 months of my life I've been receiving and sending responses to surveys which are trite, redundant, and rather uninteresting. For the sake of comedy though, I participate answering most, if not all, of the questions sardonically as does my comedic equal, if not superior, in filling out these pointless surveys, Christopher Follett (and never was there a finer name in all of Christendom). How many times must I occupy valuable airspace - now being occupied by NATO's "blunderous" bombers - by sending these surveys whose questions reveal nothing of the person, but merely the person's habits, likes, and dislikes which, with all respects to those who created the surveys - several of which WERE entertaining - mean nothing in the scheme of things.
The United States has become a nation of power and surplus: Microsoft's near monopoly over computers, Disney's inconceivable power over entertainment, buffets that cost $3 in Vegas, 40 ounce bottles of beer, credit cards, the success of Total Request Live on MTV, it goes on, just look around. This notion of "more is better" and "I'll do/like this thing/band to fit in" has infested the minds of us all, myself included. As a result, every person has suffered a loss of true self to some degree.
The true self has been replaced with the social norm and bowing to the social construct has replaced baseball as the nation's favorite pastime. People, since they do "what the Romans do," do not think for themselves. What the majority does and believes is accepted and unquestioned by the common individual, and, in turn, the masses. Keep in mind, at one point, the Nazis were the majority in Germany and, the greatest minds as well as the public believed that the earth was flat. We are so enthralled with the vision of "having" that we've become oblivious to the mortal societal changes around us. We are NOT in the midst of a "Pax Americanus," as the media would have us believe. The United States is on it's way to self-destruction (the constant peaking of the stock market seems well and good now, but marks the coming of a dangerous bear market in the future) and to save it we must remember, if not find, who we are despite the outside world's influences. And THAT is why I - with the help of others - created this survey.
This survey looks toward the individual and the individual's philosophy. It's rather long and complex and will take quite a long time - as reading the introduction has - but is worth it. Through completing this survey, you will learn more about your SELF - not yourself, there's a difference. I hope you enjoy the racking your brain will undergo.
So, in closing, thank you. I'd like to explain that the last e-mail I sent was all a joke as was Colin's response. Please do not ask Joey Lawrence if he will be at the party, there is no party. Besides, if you're ever in the same area as Joey Lawrence, it would be best for you if you leave immediately =) Now that I've finished this introduction to a survey, I'm going to watch Total Request Live while drinking Starbuck's coffee which I'll place on the Sony Playstation containing The Lion King video game that I purchased through my new Visa =)
My friend and yours,
RT
*~ To explain the last paragraph, I sent out an e-mail that contained a joke about a party. Joey Lawrence and, if I remember correctly, "Mikey" from the Life Cereal Commercials were scheduled to attend. I thanked all those who came and received e-mails from people who thought that the party was real. Ah, yes, manipulation. . . ~*