Here is part of the appendix to Guidance: a personal testimony:


At first I was convinced that singleness, and freedom for Bible study
was to be my permanent state.  But after some years I was shaken loose
by restlessness, awareness of possible problems, but above all the
realisation that the very withdrawal from life into the world of Bible,
books and study that made rapid growth in Bible Knowledge possible, also
put me out of step with the majority of other people to whom I could
minister.  While it looked sacrificial, my natural self revelled in the
isolation, the sense of superiority, and the intellectual excitement of
study.  Socialising, swimming, driving cars.. would have been more of a
"Denying self, taking up the cross daily!"

Forty eight years ago I chose to marry my best friend, and encourager in
the things of God.  God did not specifically tell me to, but as I prayed
about the matter, He set me free to do so.  And, I believe she is both
God's gift to me, and the answer to my prayers.  Marriage has proved
that God's guidelines - ASK, RECEIVE with THANKFULNESS as God's gift,
and LIVE it in fellowship with Him maintained by conformity to His Word,
and prayer, 1 Tim 4:1-5, 6:17, do indeed bring blessing, (Ecc 4:9-11,)
and glorify His Name.  (Nothing in Scripture suggests that if only God
guides clearly enough, or we guess His will, we'll have a marriage which
automatically goes right.  A life safely tied to the wharf of
singleness, keeping clear of the opposite sex, waiting for God to grant
the miracle of marriage is almost as silly as a life drifting where the
emotions of the moment move it.)

Having chosen Marriage, and family, it soon became clear as 1 Cor 7 says
we had committed ourselves to each other's needs, and the need to seek
God's will together.  I lost the freedom to spend so much time in Bible
Study, in isolation from the realities of life that enables one to lay
down the law for others, unrealistically, Luke 11:46.

I gained the glorious/ humiliating opportunity to put in practice what
the Bible taught faced with the constant need to find from God's Word
the guidance needed for family life.  With a Godly helpmeet, even
struggling to find God's will through the difficult times is a blessing.
And the rejoicing in the blessings is more real, and realistic.
Preparation of a message is richer for sharing in its preparation, along
with sharing in doing the dishes.  Standing up to speak God's word in
the presence of wife and family helps preaching and practice go hand in
hand.




God HAS guided through circumstances.  I'm not sensitive to cold, but
one night kept fretting and fussing, too cold to settle to Bible study
until the thought that I was glad I wasn't out in that southerly sleet,
prompted me to put a gift into an envelope to ensure that a servant of
God had a heater in her car.  I did not know that she had bought a new
car, but decided not to "waste" the money needed for the heater, unless
it was provided specifically for that purpose.

The more sensitive we are to the needs of our brothers and sisters in
Christ, and ready to provide for them what WE feel the need of, James
2:15-16, the less often God will have to intervene in such a specific
way.

God DOES speak to us through highlighting a verse of Scripture that
speaks to our situation.  Fifty years ago when a school teacher in
Westland, my exercise of heart had moved me to cycle the long way home
from town one night, (20 miles) and put tracts in about 80 letter boxes.
But, next Friday as I was setting out to cycle the direct route I was
assuring myself that there was no need to put tracts there as I was
already in contact with all but two of the families, through Sunday
School, etc. when "You shall be witnesses unto me in JERUSALEM" came to
mind.  My obedience was reluctant and embarrassed.  Yet by God's grace
one of the two men I had not met, stopped me on my way back Sunday
afternoon, to ask me how to get saved!

God's using my obedience as a step to that man's salvation was His
Sovereign act.  I have no right to demand such guidance before I am
willing to act, BUT that one demonstration of what He could do, with
even reluctant obedience, has been a constant reminder that I should
LIVE BY HIS WORD.  In my case it was both a verse, and a scriptural
principle, but God can speak through a Scripture that is irrelevant to
others.

A Christian husband came into my office at school one Friday night with
"Where's my wife?  Where's my kids?  I know its my fault that they've
gone, I've been pre-occupied with working to pay off the mortgage."  His
name was David.  Next week he returned, no longer frantic but at peace.
He'd confessed his sin to the Lord and claimed forgiveness, gone back to
the Baptist church he'd drifted from, been praying and reading his
Bible, and had taken the verse "I will build again the house of David"
as God's promise to him.  To apply it to ALL David's would be silly, but
God can give personal assurance and encouragement by such means.  He was
encouraged, and in six months it WAS a happy united home.  THE ONLY SUCH
HAPPY OUTCOME in my school experience.

Have I reached?  Will I reach? a stage of Christian maturity when
confident certainty of God's will becomes the norm, replacing
responsibility to look to the Lord in helpless patient prayer, Bible
study, and to do what one already knows ceases.  Never, in this world.
The person who believes that he has acquired sufficient wisdom is the
ultimate fool, Prov 26:12.  Trusting in the Lord to guide us, will
always be trusting in the Lord and doing the good we already know to do,
to the limit of our understanding and strength, increasingly conscious
of personal imperfection, but increasingly confident if anything new is
needed, the Lord will reveal it, Ps 37:3-9; Phil 3:12-16.

Yes, GOD HAS GUIDED US.  But looking back we see that His wise, loving
faithfulness in guiding has been shown generally in gentle and
inconspicuous ways.  Our "happening" to think of this or that when we
needed to.  The pressure on our conscience when like Peter we felt the
Lord's eyes on us, when we were denying Him, or in the mood to do so.

Often there was nothing to our credit in our obedient fellowship with
the Lord, we felt backed into a corner where no alternative seemed
possible without glaring cowardice or deceit.  But, best of all there
were days when looking back at bedtime to "sign off" with the Master,
there was the glad realisation that we would have done nothing, or
little, differently if HE had been present PHYSICALLY, which assured us
that we had in fact walked with Him, and He with us.

(Coming home one night from the Assembly weekly Bible Study, conscious
of the warm, relaxed atmosphere of joyful fellowship in searching the
Scriptures together I remarked to my wife "You know I don't think that
anyone would have said anything different, if the Lord Himself had been
there with us."  Then realised that of course that meant that He HAD
been with us, and allowed to direct our thinking, feeling, and words.)

In our "Ministry" of God's Word , it is reasonable for us to expect that
He wants us to make efficient use of those studies which he has laid on
our hearts.  If we have been asked to lead a study on John 6 for the
Bible Reading, it may well become the basis for a Gospel message, a
Sunday School lesson, or a conversation with a hitch-hiker, later in the
week.

Nine lepers out of ten saw no need to come to the Lord to thank Him.
Those who have had their needs met from the Lord through the words we
have spoken are equally unlikely to do so.  Yet from those who do
express their thanks, we find that ministry which flowed naturally out
of our current fellowship with the Lord, by His gracious will "just
happened" to meet needs of which we were unaware.

Like Naaman (2 Ki 5:11-15) we find it hard to take unspectacular
guidance, but as we look back we gladly confess that our Lord "Has done
all things well."  And, when we reach the Eternal Glory, and gaze in awe
and worship on the face of our LORD, we will realise that no frequent,
spectacular, obvious, mechanical guidance could have brought us there to
be in that state, and we will confess in wonder, and adoration "Thy
GENTLENESS has made me great," Ps 18:35.  Amen.  Blessed be the Name of
the Lord!

E. Read, 28.11.90.       Revised/ reprinted,  30.1.98,
(Criticism, correction, and addition welcomed.


Please feel free to use any or all of this material in any way you wish, to the glory of God.)


Copies of these are available free from E. Read, F2/55 Rd., Christchurch, 4, New Zealand.