The
Peril
MH3 Weakly Newsletter of Hash Indignties
(FOR MEMBERS ONLY !!!)
8th September 1998,(Tuesday)
Run No. 1629
Hares: Jetsam, Chan Hieng Kheng, Lee Yunn Jing, Adline Chin,
Location: ‘Pujut Corner’ Market Car Park
A good run, well set, except that this was a repeat
of the Nash Hash run set by Big Willy last year, difficult to get
lost type of area, but with a few variations such as several more hills,
less paper where it counted, and only two checks in the whole 50 minute
run. The fuck ups were the lack of paper towards the end, which saw most
people coming back along the main road to the wagon, except for Big Spender
who short cutted and sneaked back from the other way. At the top of the
first hill the paper was laid through a cemetery, on-on over the tops of
graves. Visions of their occupants rising up to meet the invading
Hashers did seem possible but they probably thought better of it and stayed
in their boxes.
Oh well, the run went up and down a few hills and through the back
yards of several of the hill top dwellers. Luminous Palm was up to his
normal short cutting tricks [has this man ever completed the whole run
on paper in his life?] After several more hills it was back to the wagon
for the serious part of Hashing, the Downs-Downs.
Long-runners were Yew Yuih Ling 50 runs, Short Change for 200, Muff
Diver 300, Super Sucker 50, and Ming Dynasty for a well done 900 runs.
[Good to see that Super Sucker didn’t spit the dummy this time he was on
the wagon, although he didn’t look happy, especially when D-D’ed
again for putting on his new shirt backwards, hell, who dresses this
man in the mornings]
Virgins were ‘Baptised’ in the usual ‘wet’ manner and ‘new’ runner
Sperm a.k.a. Trevor Seaman was welcomed.
Three criminals ….Tan Sui Min, Ayong and Alex, Alex [Who the fuck is
Alex?] and the Monk had all mysteriously disappeared before they could
be given their punishment…..but they will be given it next run but double
what they would have if they had stayed on site. A couple of ‘forgetful’
persons were duly punished for forgetting to collect their keys.
Some persons were seen looking for flowers instead of running [what
is this Hash coming to?] Fatt Boy Chan, Short Change, Super Blow and Juice
Extractor Lobao were the guilty bastards. [But will probably deny it]
Welcome back to ‘Whore-Moan’ Harvie after his extended offshore repair
job, but as it was only for the night, Short Change had a feelin’ for him
and he had a longun’ for her and so maybe even a bit of the ol’
‘in and out’ went on.
The On-On was at Pujut Seafood and once again the food was up to its
normal good standard with excesses piled up and down the table. [Many doggy
bags were collected] Although only 23 people turned up, much piss
was drunk and Down-downs downed. I’m not sure what was going on with Big
Spender but I think she forgot her knickers ‘again’. The usual amount of
‘Bashing not Hashing’ criminals were there, including Give-Her-One Grant
and Twinky or is it Twinkle toes anyway it was ‘Mrs Monk’ who
graced us with her presence, good to have you with us again.
The Hares did not come to their own On-On which must be a first, and
for this they should be severely punished by whipping or just the normal
icing would do.
Three hashers were enjoying a private dinner by themselves at Pujut
Seafood and didn’t want to join us till threatened, Smashed Wong, 007 and
Tokyo Chia.
On- On
Moppy
Joke!!!Joke!!!Joke!!!
Joke!!!Joke!!! Joke!!!Joke!!! Joke!!!Joke!!! Joke!!!
A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving
financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an
extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner
and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any
questions or problems.
A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all
the way.
She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her
husband.
The husband told her to tell the client $100.
She went back and informed the client at which he cried, "That's too
much!" He then asked "How much for a hand-job?" She asked him to wait a
minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband said "Ask for $40."
The woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an
agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal
of his clothing the woman noticed that the man was well hung.
She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner
again at which her husband asked "Now what?"
The wife replied "Can I please borrow $60?"
Four men got together at a reunion. All
of them had sons and they started discussing them. The first man said his
son was doing so well, he now owned a factory, manufacturing furniture.
Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a whole house full of brand
new furniture.
The second man said his son was doing just as well. He was a manager
at a car sales firm. Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a
Ferrari.
The third man said his was doing well too. He was a manager at a bank.
Why, just the other day he gave his best friend money to buy a house.
The fourth man just shook his head. He said his son was gay and hadn't
amounted to much. But he must be doing something right because, just the
other day his friends gave him a house, furniture and a Ferrari!
A young hillbilly and his new bride came down
from the hills to visit the doctor. Humming and hawing, looking down at
his hat in his hands, the young man explained that he and his new bride
did not know what to do to have children. The doctor took out his charts
and books for adolescents and carefully explained the birds and the bees.
The two looked bewilderedly at each other, then at the doctor. The doctor
attempted to explain in various ways and terms the ins and outs of human
reproduction.
Finally, exasperated, the doctor laid the bride on the exam table and
screwed her. "Now do you understand?", the doctor asked the hillbilly.
"Yes, sir. Just one question," the hillbilly answered.
The doctor grabbed his forehead and squawked, "Yes, what is it?"
"How often do I have to bring her in?".
The little boy was 8 yrs old when his parents
decided to have him circumcised (looking different than dad, other kids,
etc). After a few days of recovery, the boy went back to school. After
about an hour, the pain was really starting to bother him so he asked if
he could see the school nurse.
He went to see her but was too embarrassed to tell her what the problem
was.
She suggested that he call his Mom and see if she could come and get
him. The nurse waited in the other room while the call was made. After
a few minutes the little boy came out and started walking back to class,
but the nurse noticed that his penis was hanging out of his pants.
She said 'Johnny, what are you doing? You can't walk around like that.'
He replied, 'Well I told my Mom how much I hurt and she said that if
I could just stick it out till lunchtime she would come pick me up then.'
ALLEGEDLY TRUE STORY
In a biology class, the Prof was discussing the high glucose levels
found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand,
you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in male semen?"
"That's correct," responded the Prof, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste
sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor
girl's face turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had
inadvertently said, she picked up her books without a word and walked out
of class, never to return.
However, as she was going out the door, the Prof's reply was classic....
Totally straight-faced he answered her question: "It doesn't taste sweet
because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and
not the back of your throat."
