The
Peril
MH3 Weakly Newsletter of Hash Indignties
(FOR MEMBERS ONLY !!!)
18th August 1998,(Tuesday)
Run No 1624
Location : Soon Hup Construction Road
Hares : Winnie the Pooh, Jee Teck Siong & Chin Ek Hia
SORRY
LADS ! NO WRITE UP AGAIN.
I’M GLAD I AM A MAN
Everyday I give thanks to God
I was born a man instead of a broad
When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV
I don't shave my legs, I stand up to pee
I go to a barber, not a beauty salon
Don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on
Don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts
I use my turn signal, I understand sports
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't go through a faze every 28 days
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons
Don't take a lot of friends when I go the the john
I don't throw a fit when I break a nail
I don't buy a lot of shoes just because they're on sale
I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror
I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer
I drink beer from a bottle, not from a glass
I don't ask my friends about the size of my ass
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't face the pain of water-weight gain
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
Let me tell you ladies
Listen to me ladies
I love those things inside of your blouse
I love your pretty faces
Your warm and soft embraces
But if I had my own two boobs, I'd never leave the house
I don't spend two hours getting ready for a date
I don't play with dolls unless they inflate
When someone asks me my age, I never lie
After sex in bed, my spot's always dry
I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines
I don't mind if my dates try to get in my jeans
I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie
This is the same underwear I wore yesterday
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't take a pill, I don't use Massengill
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I find Michael Bolton completely revoltin'
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
Hash Trash
A policeman noticed an old lady standing on a street corner during
a sudden windstorm.
She was bracing herself by holding a light post with one hand,
and she was holding her hat snugly against her head with her other hand.
Unfortunately, a strong gust blew her dress upward, and it continued to
flap in the wind, exposing her privates for everyone to see.
The policeman asked, "Hey Lady, everybody is taking a look at what
you've got. Don't you think that pulling your dress down is more
important than worrying about your hat?"
"Look here, Sonny - what these people are looking at is 85 years
old, but the *hat* is BRAND NEW!"
*******************
His convertible slowly rolls to a stop on the deserted country
lane. His somewhat reluctant date turns slowly to him and says, "Oh. Don't
tell me. The old 'ran out of gas' routine, right?"
"No," he replies. "It is the 'here after' routine."
"The 'here after' routine?" she asks, somewhat confused.
"Yeah. If you're not here after what I'm here after, you'll be
here after I'm gone."
************************
A woman hails a cab in NYC, jumps in and says to the cabbie. "T.G.I.F."
The cabbie just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Huh?"
She repeats, "T.G.I.F."
The cabbie thinks about that for a moment and says, "S.H.I.T."
Not understanding, she inquires about the meaning of the acronym.
The cabbie responds, "Sorry Honey, It's Thursday!"
The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia,
and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador.
For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally
treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer. On the final
day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said "As your stay is coming to
an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian
roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the
cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger." This phased
the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to
show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and
pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a
sigh of relief. The African ambassador was much impressed with the courageous
game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador
was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian
with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him
to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke "Now
it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette". So saying, he
led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six beautiful,
naked women. The African ambassador said "These women are the most beautiful
members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a blowjob -
take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he
couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said "Well, ok, great,
but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
"One of them's a cannibal"
