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The Peril

MH³ Weakly Newsletter of Hash Indignties (FOR MEMBERS ONLY !!!)

SORRY LADS ! NO WRITE UP AGAIN.

Hash Trash
A woman is drying herself after a shower when she suddenly slips over and lands spread legged on the bathroom floor. She tries to stand up again but realises that she landed so hard that her pussy has stuck to the floor creating such a vacuum that she can't move. She calls out to her husband for help. He tries with all his strength to lift her up but she won't budge. So he goes next door and gets the neighbour. Both of them are pulling like oxen but she just won't move. She is well and truly stuck to the floor. Suddenly the neighbour says: "Why don't we just get a hammer and break the tiles around her legs and lift her that way?" "Great idea," says the husband, "but just let me rub her tits a little to arouse her."
"Why?" asks the puzzled neighbour.
"So I can slide her over into the kitchen. The tiles are cheaper in there."

A very attractive blond woman walks into the clinic and asks to see the doctor. When she is admitted, the doctor is a little perturbed to see that she is wearing a large pair of headphones and he asks her to remove them. “I’m afraid I can’t,” she says, “or I’ll certainly die.” “Oh don’t be so ridiculous,” he snaps, leaning across and tearing them off. Immediately, the woman looks in trouble and starts to turn bright red. In the interests of science, the doctor puts the headphones over his own ears… A soothing voice says, “Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in….”

The day after a man lost his wife in a boating accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife. The policeman went on, "We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."
"Oh my god!" said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion.
Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"
"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size crabs on her."
"If that's the good news than what's the great news?!" Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning."

An 85 year old man marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites. She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting. Sure enough the knock comes and
there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night. After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there the old guy is again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves. She is certainly ready for slumber at this point and is close to sleep for the second time
when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old and ready for more. Once again they do the horizontal boogie. As they're laying in afterglow the young bride says to him, "I am really impressed that a guy your age has enough juice to go for it three times. I've been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one."
The old guy looks puzzled... turns to her and says, "Was I already here?"

A man has to leave the country on business and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, he was to be notified immediately. After about a week of no news the business man received a telegram: "The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday..."