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The Peril

MH³ Weakly Newsletter of Hash Indignties (FOR MEMBERS ONLY !!!)

5th January 1999, (Tuesday) Run # 1649 Date: Tuesday, 29th December 1998 Location: Woody Wood Nursery, Sg. Rait Hares: 3278, Luminous Palm Job, & Jackson Chan

ATTENTION ALL HASHERS 7 more days to pass your beautiful / handsome face to the On-Sec. Thank you!

“IT WAS A DAMN GOOD HASH” ……………… Blow Up Rubber Doll

Hash Trash

A kid comes home from school and says to his Mom, "Mom I've got a problem." She says, "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't understand. She asks him what are they. He says "well, pussy and bitch." She says, "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy." He thanks her and goes to visit Dad in the workshop in the basement. "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know & I asked mom but I don't think she told me the exact meaning." Dad says, "Son, I told you never to go to Mom with these matters, she can't
handle them. What are the words?" He tells him...pussy and bitch. Dad says, "OK," and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centrefold. "Son, everything inside this circle is pussy." "OK, Dad, so what's a bitch?" "Son," he says, "everything outside that circle."

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well sister, this looks pretty grim."
"I know, father."
"In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two."
"I agree."
"Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?"
"Anything father."
"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours."
"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."
The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.
"Sister would you mind if I touched them?"
She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?"
"Yes sister?"
"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"
"I supposed that would be OK," The priest replied lifting his robe.
"Oh father, may I touch it?"
This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.
"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life."
"Is that true father?"
"Yes it is, sister."
"Then why don't you stick it in that camel and let's get the hell out of here."

Man walks into a supermarket and buys :
1 bar of soap1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
The girl at the checkout looks at him and says "Single are you?
"The man replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?"
She replies "because you're ugly."

IF & WHY
? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
? Why do women wear evening gowns to night clubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night-gowns?
? Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
? If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
? Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, the bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor."

HASH INVITATION & CELEBRATIONS 1. 29-31 May 1999 7th Borneo Nash Hash, Tawau – Reg. Before 31 Dec. 1998 – RM150.00
2. 29-31 October 1999 Pan Aisa Hash 1999, Perth – Reg. Before 31 May 1999 – USD130.00/ A$180.00
3. 25-27 February 2000 Interhash Tasmania 2000 – Reg. Before 31 Dec. 1998 – A$225.00