Lisa's Journal

November 27th - December 4th

November 28th.. HI! I'm baaaAAAaaaack! Was over in Palm Beach for thanks giving! Have a lot to say so bare with me! :)

Ok November 26th.. I got home and barely got to be able to talk with matt. Said a very very short hi and bye then had to pack up.. we headed over to palm beach with Loren ( my brother ) Driving almost the whole way. Its a 3 hour trip. We always go to Palm beach for thanks giving.. thats where my grandmother lives. Its sooo beautiful there. All the people who live there are multi millionares.. the rodes are beautfiul and have palm trees everywhere.. each and every house is the sort of place you just drool all over when you drive bye. The house across from grandmas sold for 6.5 million dollars. These people have problems I must say.. I mean spend 6 million on HOUSE? Hehe, sounds like these people need someone to help them figure out what they should do with their money.. me ME me ME!! So we got talking in the car and it got on the subject of my grandfather. He passes away a couple years ago, and my mother is inharriting 60,000. Loren was saying "Oh mom you should give both lisa and I a grand... its only far." I about choked on my Mcdonald french fries. I couldnt believe he has the audacity to say that.. and actually be serious. She was talking about how she'll put it away for our college and stuff. So we got to the hotel and met up with Charlie and brad. Charlie is my moms boyfriend and brad is his son. Brad is pretty cool, I like him. He's about in his late 20's. So we all got to the hotel and got in our rooms. I shared one with my mother and her bf. I was soooo tired as soon as I got there I plopped into bed and fell asleep...

November 27th.. I woke up bright and early. ( about noon ) and got all ready to go. We had breakfast then went over to grandmas. Tons of my family memmbers were there. About 32 and 12 of them were kids. Bonni my cousin is my favorite. I always hang with her for turky day. She has 3 other little sisiters and what I dont think is far is how she always misses out on tings because of them. Im glad I dont have any younger brothers or sisters.. I just wouldnt be able to handle it. Bonni and I have the same classes in school.. but really dont talk much. Shes pretty popular and I find her friends hilarious. We went for a walk on the beach and talked about almost everything.. was fun. We found our way to our grandfathers grave. We both cried and talked about him.. after that we got back to the house just in time to eat. We all ate and bonni and I graduated to the grown up table, lol. We were always welcome there but always liked sitting with our other cousins and talking, well talking to the ones that could talk. After all that we said our goodbyes for the night and went to the movies and saw alien reserection. Was such a cool movie!! But Im a woosy so I closed my eyes for half of it, lol. I wont talk about it.. dont want to spoil it for anyone who hasent seen it :). So we got back and for some odd reason I felt like joging. Heh so I ran up and down the stair well for a good half hour. When I got back ploped into bed and well fast asleep..

November 28th.. TODAY!!.. I woke up and thought my mom was the cat. Im so used to waking up to my cat jumping on my bed, walking over to me and laying on my chest. So I had my eyes closed and was sleeping when I heard this *PLUMP* on my bed.. I thought "oh gizmo has come to wake me up".. forgeting that I was in a hotel I reached ovefr with my eyes closed and started petting my mom. Shes like "lisa... lisa?? what are you doing?" Heh im like oooooooops.. sorry mom. Loren and I both wanted to tare out of the hotel and get home! So we got up and got packed and ran by my grandmothers to say bye bye. We said our byes and hugged everyone and thanked them. We got on the road and hedded for Comp USA. I got this really cool new game called Riven.. its the sequal to Myst. I think it will be fun to play. I got two other program trype games for my computer.. They were both on space. I pointed them out to my mom and she got them and I'll get them for christmas. We also stoped by Peaches and I picked out 5 CD's I wanted for christmas as well. I'm also asking for a telascope and some tickets to Chicago the play. Maybe I'll ask for some clothes too I donno.

November 29th.. Hi! Oh boy I dont know what to do. I told you I'd be completely honest.. and I am!! Just I donno where to drop the line with what I write in here.. so for now im going to tell you what I did last night.. cause well.. it happend, and I learned something from it. Who knows maybe someone else will also. Ok so beth called around 7 and invited me over to her neighborhood to play manhunt with some other people. My mom didnt want to me go because its a rather bad neighborhood and shes afraid Im going to get in a car with someone. Shes like, "Whats manhunt?" I said, "Its were everyone strips and we all have group sex, mother" She said , "ok!' heh. Ok for real it is were one person is it and they try to find whoever else in the woods or from hiding. We played waaay back in the woods and it was all dark.. you could barely see in front of you. Beth and I walked down the road calling out names. Everyone was playing so took awhile to get people out. We found sarah and joined in the game.. I grabbed on beths hand and she led me through the woods. She knows them better then I and I was tripping and falling on everything. We got over to a big bush and hid in it.. but someone found me and I was it. So I ran off and hid in a bush waiting for someone to move or to hear soemthing. I was alert and finally AJ ran into the street and started walking away.. I jumped up and ran after him and almost got hit by a car lol! I tackled him and he was it. We went in for pizza for a bit then beth had to run by her house to get something. She got back and led Barry, sarah, and I deeper into the woods away from the others. When finally she was happy with our distance she stopped and pulled some rolled up pot from her pocket. I was thinking, uh oh. I've always known beth smoked pot but never actually saw her do it. She handed it to sarah and she took a drag, handed it to barry then handed it to me. I said no thank you and gave it back to beth. I have to admit with my curiousity I did want to try it. I feel bad even having that feeling now. When they were done beth pulled out a black. and yes I did once on that one. But I didnt inhale, I promise. Not that that helps.. I still did it... and I regret it more then I can say now. I guess at least I learned something.. it isnt for me.. I was sick for the rest of the night. And plus its harmful for your body.. ok next subject before i get all tearieeyed. Im such a wimp I swear jeez. Ok anyway.. beth was high for the rest of the night.. she was funny to watch. We talked all day today and she says shes quiting. Im proud of her because I really believe she is serious. Matt and Nigel are coming to florida for two whole wonderful weeks. I can't wait! But im also nervous about it.. so very nervous. I keep having dreams about Matt.. its weird..

November 30th.. I Really dont want to go to school tomorrow.. blah. Today was a rather boring a slow day. Been working on my page a lot.. i really enjoy working on it. I talked with Merina earlier and she is hooked up with another guy, hehe. ( GO MERINA!!! WOOHOO ). Esmo and I talked earlier.. I think we're going to be able to work things out. Esmo was very mad at me.. and said some things that hurt, to me. But I think it will work out in the end.. at least I hope it does. I hate being pissed with people or upset. Is a waste of energy to be mad at someone, says a very good friend of mine who tells me that a lot. :) I hate this background.. looks shity blah. School might not be THAT bad tomorrow. hmm a little less then a 100 days to my birthday, woohoo! I was invited for christmas over to this couples house that I know over the internet. I can just hear all you worried people grip onto your chairs, out there lol. Dont worry I'm not going even though I would love to. I can never imagion my mother letting me.. I'd probably die of shock if she did. Im a little distracted at the moment.. I'll write more tomorrow.. I promise. :)

Hi.. I couldnt get to sleep. Its about 10:30. I can't stop thinking about matt. I've been thinking about him for the past 3 hours and I miss him a lot. It hurts when he's not around.. I sent him 2 really screwed up cards with email hehehe. I'm so excited about him coming to florida.. its going to be wonderful, I just know it.

December 1st.. Today was ok. We went on a field trip to go see some plays in fort myers. The actors were very good, watching them made my love for drama grow even bigger.

On the way back Tyrone, myself, Sarah, Danille, Heidi, Shannon, and sasha, all sang in the back of the bus on the way home. We sang.. jeez I can't remember the name but I think it was called lean on me. Our voices rang out through the bus and I must say it did sound very beautiful.

You know what pisses me off? How kidz put their peers in 'groups'. You know like the skin heads or the preps or the freaks. If you dress a certain way that must mean that you.. as a person.. are a certain way. Example: the preps.. since they dress soooOOoOoO nice they must be goody goodys, or be very well manored. Example #2, the freaks, since they wear black and have pentacles around their necks they MUST be evil, and are totall assholes. WHATEVER!! that is the biggest bull.. and yet people do that. That annoys me so much.. or you know if you dress in something nice one day then the next wear jeans you get called a poser. Poser means like trying to be something your not or posing as someone else. I hate that most of the kids in my school have to be afraid of what they wear so they dont get called names. I felt that way last yea I really dont give a shit this year. If they have a problem with the way I dress then thats their problems and they should tell someone who cares.

December 2nd.. My mother called me a 'little girl' today. That hurt a lot.. I dont feel like a girl and at 6 foot I dont look like one either. And I feel I have gained her trust.. but still she treats me like I'm 8!

Ok anyway... Today was alright. In band I told the band director that I wont be in the parade. He has a small hissy fit. I can't because I dont know the song by heart.. and I've only been playing for about 7 weeks, and It took me a while to learn the notes. I got a new hair cut today. Lol it doesnt feel like my hair anymore. She cut long layers in my hair and cut more bangs down. Shes like "woah girl you sure do have a head of hair"! My hair.. shhh dont tell anyone this.. is so FrIzZy!

December 3rd "Lisa you know why your grades arent A's? Because your too distracted by that computer" is what my mom said earlier. I turned to her screamed and bit my tongue. Held back saying bite me. She always blames everything on the computer.. drives me insane! And my grades arent ever good enough! IF I had all 100% for grades.. she'd be asking about extra credit and how I could get higher.

Ohh! I'm so in love with drama this isnt even funny. Its all I can think about now.. you wont even believe how lame I get with it too! I'll take some of my books and act it out in my room. yes that falls under the catagory "lame". Anyway.. I love acting.. if only I were good at it hehe. You know they'res so many things I want to do with my life.. but the sad thing is I can't do them all!! If only I could live to 200 years old.. What a life I would lead.. I would do everything my heart desired. I plan on that now but still.. life is to short. I just went outside for a sec to check the sky for the planets that you should be able to see... you can't see a thing! its to cloudy! I talked to matt.. oh I miss him. He had to go. I just wish I could talk to himforever and not be interupted.. in my dreams.

December 4th.. Morning! Thought I would write some stuff before I went to school. Yesturday at school we watched Little Women. I love that movie.. Joe, is the kind of peron I want to be like when I'm older. She's a great character.. I woke up this morning with it raining really hard. I LOVE weather like this!! Its calming down right now but I wish it will rain all day.

Today was... weird. I'm so religously frustrated!! I dont know where im going or what I even believe. I'm sure though that they're isnt a god.. and that every person has a right to believe in what they want to and if it makes them happy then good for them! We had a religous discusion in class today. We had a sub and so we got in the back of the room and talked. The topic got on religion and one girl said she didnt believe in god. My friend tyrone jumped on her and told her about the 'good lord' and how she should believe in him and if not your going to hell. So I'm like "well tyrone I dont believe in god either and you shouldnt be jumping down her throat.. and saying shes going to hell is so fucking rude" He looked at me and said, "you dont believe in god? We arent friends anymore" I lost it at that point and was yelling I couldnt believe he had the nerv to say that to me. My cousin was saying, "Well if they'res a god why does my life suck so bad?? Why are people dying on the streets if they'res a god.. isnt your god suposed to be loving and compasionet.. If they'res a god why does my life suck?? Why are people dying?? WHy?" She got histeracle and was crying.. I pulled her into the other room and hugged her telling her it was ok. I had no idea her life was so bad.. maybe its the age? Arent all teenagers lifes suposed to suck anyhow?
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