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Ok, here're my various thoughts (in convenient non-poem format)
-America and Afghanistan are not morally equivalent or subject to any relativist claptrap. American culture is the best and most successful in the world. Afghan culture is fourth-world stone age barbarism. We and the rest of the English-speaking world need to impose civilization on the rest of the world, guns blazing if necessary (to paraphrase Jonah Goldberg). America is known as the "reluctant empire," and as such, we need to colonize our uncivilized brethren in the rest of the world. It's for both their and our common good.
-Foreigners and non-naturalized immigrants in America are our guests. They do not have the right to be vocal about being offended by our customs, such as the Pledge of Allegiance or Star-Spangled Banner. They are our guests, and ought to act as such.
-On a related subject, how did the American flag suddenly get to mean so many things? Didn't it always symbolize the United States of America?
-What's up with the traitors in America who scream at the US for bombing the Taliban? We're trying extremely hard to only hit terrorists. We're even dropping food on the rest of the country! It's not like we've decided to aerially turn Afghanistan into a parking lot or something.
-How hard is it to hit a 5x5 foot sheet from eight feet away? Apparently pretty hard, judging by the girl in my Physics class charged with the sacred duty of throwing an egg at it.
-Dubya won! Hallelujah! Thank heavens we conservatives are back in power!
-In the future, all Virginia Tech Marching Virginians buses shall be classified as alcoholic beverage containers.
-New Year's at Jacksonville on the beach when it was freezing was interesting. Especially the snockered people who ran into the ocean in their birthday suits.
-There's something wrong when only one person in my age group I talk to knows what happened in England in 1066 AD. Congrats Jessica Koziski for outsmarting the public school system!
-Al Gore is the most pathetic individual I can think of. Get a life, guy.
-College isn't as easy as you think it is when you first get there. Make sure you do your work as it's assigned, and try not to stay up late. It's a great temptation, but if you sleep through your classes, you'll get in deep trouble.
-As cool as people can be, they lose all coolness whatsoever when they're drunk. There's nothing wrong with having a drink or two, even if you're a little underage. Drinking to get drunk is stupid and disgusting. On a related topic, what's up with drinking games? You need MOTIVATION to ruin yourself? If you're going to get drunk, at least do it of your own volition.
-Don't get too caught up in trivial matters. They're not worth it. For that matter, don't get caught up in trying to have a relationship. If it's time, it'll happen. If you need to ask if you're ready for a relationship you have no business having one.
-The Horns rock. Should be a FUN bus ride down to Orlando. I'm hoping to beat Tara's record on the Purity Test. Poor innocent me.
-The Gator Bowl? Say WHAT? The BCS sucks, though at least I get paid per diem.
-Virginia Tech rules. In pretty much every way possible. I really like college.
-It sucks to lose in bowling to drunk people when you're sober.
-Some people really are too much up in other people's business. Get over the fact that you're not social martyrs, even if you think you are.
-Even if you're Michael Vick, you can't get into Slusher Tower for random booty calls without signing in.
-If you get the chance, go hiking. It's a lot of fun.
-Everyone is smarter at college. Unfortunately, a lot of them are lushes or snobs (often both!), so you don't really get to know them.
-The Razor's Edge is a great movie. Everyone likes it. Which I guess makes it more popular than me, but that's the way it is when something's perfect.
-It's nice to meet cool people at college; Laura, Kevin, Jill, horn and mellophone sections, y'all RULE! And of course CDogg, Mr. Hawk, German, The Jew, Biscuit, and Steve rule as well. Plus those still stuck at Hayfield. Well, maybe they don't rule, but they're still nifty. Quaint, even.
-Does it really take Spring Fever for everyone to realize that I'm El Guapo? I'm not sure whether to be insulted or flattered. Maybe a lil o' column A, a lil o' column B...
-Kudos to Brian for realizing one of his dreams. Here's a fellow to be your hero, children!
-I now work at the Ft. Hunt Animal Hospital. If your animal is sick or wounded, think of us. You'll know me, I'm the only guy who works there who doesn't have a doctorate. Plus I'm El Guapo, so that should make it easy.
-I no longer work at Music n' Arts! Stop coming to visit me!
-You want to know what causes ulcers? Thinking about Prom. Forget coffee and junk food. It's like the tradeoff for guys: we get to piddle standing up, but we also have to worry about things like Prom.
-One of the funniest things I've ever heard: There's actually (I checked...don't ask) a publication for people who are bi called "Anything That Moves"
-Limp Bizkit's right: "look into these eyes and you'll see the size of the flames, dwellin' on the past is burnin' up my brain, everyone that burns has to learn from the pain..." True, true.
-To forgive is divine. No matter how bad you feel about something, it's your duty to forgive the other person. This means not holding a grudge against them and not penalizing them. If they deserve to be penalized, it will happen on it's own.
-It's nice to have good friends who'll support you when you're down.
-Life can get very frustrating. Like when you wait years for something and use it as a goal and it suddenly gets trivialized. Or whenever you make a special effort to be nice, everyone else seems to get meaner. And of course, when you finally decide that you're sick of people, they suddenly are really nice to you. I think that the idea that life is just a comedy for God has got some serious arguments in it's favor.
-Who says guys only have 6 items in their bathrooms: soap, a toothbrush, a towel, a razor, shaving cream, and a comb? I mean, I get by without a comb or shaving cream. I could probably get away without soap and a towel by just using a lot of deodorant instead of showering, I could just use the hem of my shirt to wipe my teeth, and I could just let my facial hair grow. But I've decided (in the interests of the masses, my social life, and various others) to follow the proper standards of hygeine. Viva El Guapo!
-God loves you, whether you realize it or not. If something bad happens, wait a while, and you can usually see how it ultimately benefitted you.
-There aren't enough crazy people in the world. Well, maybe there are. I mean, if there were more, the world would be too crazy and I might not be crazy enough to count anymore. Of course, maybe the world just needs to acknowledge craziness more. Yes, that's just another way of me saying that the world should revolve around me.
-Prove me wrong if you disagree with the previous statement.
-The East Coast needs to chill out and calm down.
-It's amazing what people can do when they put their minds to it.
-Revolutions are not things to be undertaken as a whim. You have to plan ahead. Make connections. Wheel and deal. Rub elbows with the influential. Then overthrow them all when you distract them with the old "your zipper is undone" trick. ha ha ha...
-Remember the exceptionally wise advice of Dr. Pfennig: Plan ahead. If you're going to marry someone for beauty, think what she'll look like in 20 years. You can do this by seeing what their mother looks like. Foolproof. I would suppose this also works for girlfriends, on a lesser scale.
-If I (or some computer-literate person...hint, hint) could make a picture of a flashing 3-D Loser symbol, my page would be that much niftier.
-Going to a pool party can make you realize that you're in better shape than you thought.
-Having a job is good. Having a fun job is even better. Getting paid $5.50 an hour isn't so great, but it's better than not getting paid.
-NFL games are VERY different on TV and in person. Both are cool, though, even when your team tries it's hardest to lose. Luckily, the other team REALLY sucked.
-Marching Band is a lot easier when you've been doing it for a while. And it doesn't hurt to have a certain unnamed director not yell at you for doing what everyone else is doing, finally.
-Martin needs to learn to be more subtle and not so panicky if he's going to smuggle beverages into the movies.
-It would really suck to work at a clothing store or restaurant. It really would.
-It's amazing how incredibly handsome one can look with some mild facial hair and a mild sunburn. Or maybe it's just me. Viva El Guapo!
-There are some mighty stupid people in the world. Or maybe they're just evil. I don't know.
-If I got more sleep, I'd probably be a happier person.
-Cynicism is a bad thing to have. If you notice me being cynical, please tell me.
-Same deal for meanness.
-And rudeness.
-Perhaps I shouldn't be upset when other people don't update their pages in a long time when mine sits here the same for months at a time.
-People need to visit me at work (Music & Arts, Springfield).
-Brunching Shuttlecocks are funny.
-Despite being "ghetto" (BS alert there...), Hayfield has a lot of arrogant snobs.
-I need to vent more often. Getting pissed off at my radio or at traffic lights doesn't solve very much.
-Our country's going to Hell in a Handbasket.
-If you have the full version of Cannon Fodder, email me.
-Strange...almost everyone I know who's changed their appearance (voluntarily or not)has turned out look awful, with only a very few exceptions that come to mind.
-Contacts are SO much better than glasses.
-I wish I had some Wild Eyes contacts.
-Stupid potential scholarships disappearing before I have a crack at them...
-It's rude to make fun of other people (and their beliefs and desired colleges as well).
-Why can't very many people spell decently? Not the word decently, I mean spell in a decent manner. Probably a result of "feel-good" teachers.
-Steinnacht rocked. Pictures will come soon. Mt. Vernon, West Potomac, and West Springfield are our b****es.
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