Ann Brown, the "hot tamale" lady mentioned below, today told me two things that are important to my possible future here at OU.

1) Most study abroad programs are overly structured to provide comfort in groups. Not surprising in itself, what was surprising was that she said she thought I could do even better designing my own study abroad program and not even doing it through an existing group (except for the Honors College) at OU. So I'm planning a trans-continental trek, using only llamas and other dromedaries to carry myself and a small armed escort across the globe in search of the Holy Grail. I think I have a good shot at a grant.

2) OU has never had a Rhodes Scholar and never had a Marshall Scholar. I assume this means they've never had a Gates because that one is new. If you have no frickin' clue what I'm talking about, do google searches on 'Rhodes Scholar' 'Marshall Scholar' 'Gates Scholar' and all that sort of thing. So this could mean, forget it, OU just doesn't work with the big scholarship people for some reason, or it could mean, get your name down as the first one to do it. Faculty support is enthusiastic, the goal is unrealistic enough that if I miss it, I'll have done very well anyway, so I'm thinking about it.

There is another fun thing called the NSEP Scholarship. You get money from the government to study just about anywhere in the world and learn languages, and in return you learn stuff and work for the feds for an equivalent period of time (and you get paid). Not bad, not bad, assuming I wish to further the cause of American Hegemony.

So anyway, in the next two weeks I decide if it's even worth applying to Reed again or not. I probably will just so I don't agonize about it later. I re-read some of the Reed material and got completely confused as to my opinion of OU again, walked around my dorm room (paced, really) and argued with myself and then constructed a long list of the most important quotations in my life with the help of Ally-Sahn Hirsch. Among them was something from the Reed guidebook which was what got me interested in the first place, which leads us right back to here...you get the picture.

I have to get up early and drive to Columbus (I'm a sucker!) and then come back and go to class and then SLEEP FOREVER. So, later.

Today's song: "Last Nite" - The Strokes

February 11th

The quick and dirty on Model UN: 4th place honorable mention in Security Council for me, a couple 2nd place finishes and honorable mentions around the team. Good conference, competition wise, kind of stressful because of problems with the trip home, but ultimately pretty good.

U.S.: Annan Stresses "Shades Of Gray" After Bush "Axis Of Evil" Speech

U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan this weekend joined a growing chorus of concerned world leaders by implicitly taking issue with U.S. President George W. Bush's description of Iraq, Iran and North Korea as constituting an "axis of evil." Annan cautioned against categorizing countries along moral lines.

"You cannot divide the world between the good and the evil, because between them, there are shades of gray," Annan said in an interview published Saturday in the Swiss daily Blick. The secretary general did not make direct reference to Bush's State of the Union speech, in which the "axis of evil" comments were presented.

The secretary general also reiterated his support for the war on terrorism, saying that the United Nations' aim "is to bring terrorists to justice." He added that there are no plans to expand the U.N.-mandated war against terror beyond Afghanistan (Agence France-Presse, Feb. 9).

Annan's comments were echoed by Russian President Vladimir Putin, who said Russia opposes "the drawing up of blacklists." Putin said Iraq is a problem but that he believes the solution should come through multilateral action rather than "by one country alone."

In an interview published today in the Wall Street Journal, Putin said the readmission of U.N. weapons inspectors into Iraq is the next step. He did not rule out military action if Baghdad proves uncooperative, but he indicated such action would be a last resort. The Russian president also said he does not believe Iraq possesses nuclear weapons (House/Higgins, Wall Street Journal, Feb. 11).

Iranian President Mohammad Khatami yesterday called the "axis of evil" speech a "self-centered division of the world." Khatami said the idea goes against the "peace coalition" principles of the United Nations and that such talk is worrisome given the large defense budget now under consideration by the United States.

"It seems that an effective number of the American statespersons today are moving on a track ... which is to the detriment of the American nation in the first place and augurs of increased threats to the U.S. ... It is time for the unseasoned American statespersons to revise their policies before it is too late," he said (Islamic Republic News Agency, Feb. 10).

The Bangkok Post today expressed support for Bush, saying in an editorial that defensive responses to the speech by Iran, Iraq and North Korea are "encouraging" because they show those nations understand the harsh punishment that awaits those who support terrorism.

The newspaper called for examining other countries, such as Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, which it called "almost as bad" as the "axis of evil" countries. It called Thailand "a traditional friend of the United States" and said Washington will not necessarily extend the war on terrorism through military means (Bangkok Post, Feb. 11).

I know that was a lot. But if you're going to be anything in the world, you may as well know what's going on. Or so I arrogantly think. Maybe ignorance is better. Then you won't have to worry as much, and can actually get things done, like having kids and cooking hamburgers. Mmmm. Hamburgers.

The picture is of a PLO security building getting hit by an Israeli missile. Ahh, the holy land, where we can play the never-ending game "Who is the Terrorist?" It is one place where western and middle eastern views really do conflict on a very basic level. And of course, there is never enough land. And if you think I'm exaggerating about the state of the world, go to any major news site and read about how the FBI is all worked up about a terror attack tomorrow by a Yemeni man and "several associates." I'm not terrified. How quickly we forget...

Today's song: "2PiR" - Pi Soundtrack

February 6th

I'll be at Wright State debating United Nations stuff until Saturday night. See ya.

Today's song: "Hero of the Day" - Metallica

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February 2nd

Well, I woke up at 10 ready for a rousing Kung Fu workshop and then promptly slept until 2:30. Why? WHY? I suck.

If you have any suggestions about what books I ought to be reading, tell me. You probably got an email. If you didn't, feel properly excluded. Mwa ha ha...I mean, er, sorry, probably didn't have your email...ummm...

Why has this week been so lousy? I need to stop not sleeping so I can not fail to not skip classes for no good reason. Maybe I have SAD again, stupid seasonally affected disorder, probably invented by some bored psychologist. But, the weather has been good (until today) so probably not. Just burning out from lack of sleep, I suspect. Well, I remedied that this morning so no more excuses.

I have am having properly fucked up dreams lately. In one, I bought a lot of alcohol for no good reason. In another, I got into a huge brawl and got my ass kicked. I think I had a dream where I was in The Little Prince or The Phantom Toolbooth or something because I was talking to big spheroid things and doing math. Whatever. Time for dungeons and dragons, which I'm sure will help me solidify my grip on reality...

Today's song: "Listen" - Collective Soul

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January 29th

Put this in your crack pipe and smoke it:

Today I interviewed for the Honors Tutorial College at OU (HTC), which is a group of 'honors' students who get to take tutorial 1-on-1 classes instead of lectures. At least in their major. There are some other nice fringe benefits. Anyway, my interview with Dr. Kim, the poly sci advisor, went very well, and although Dr. Berman, the Dean, was out sick, we spoke on the phone and he gave me indications that I would get in without much of a problem.

At the end of our conversation, Dr. Berman said I should go introduce myself to Ann Brown, who coordinates the war for major academic awards like the Rhodes and the Mellon scholarships. Apparently the HTC people get a fair amount of these, and I would really like one myself, if for no better reason than I get to live on someone else's money for two more years. I walked in and introduced myself to Ms. Brown, who said, "Mike Jacobson...ah, you're Sung-Ho Kim's Mike Jacobson! You're a hot tamalé!"

Thank you, Ann Brown, for making my week. I will strive to be as hot a tamalé as I can. For OU, for America, and for spicy foods everywhere. And for Evangelion, because I haven't mentioned it in several days and should for no good reason.

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January 28th

Download "The Modern Age" by the Strokes if you haven't already. I've had it for awhile but it is suddenly great.

Today is going to be a glorious day, I feel, because I woke up at 6:55 AM thanks to the ROTC brigade trotting past and yelling nonsensical marching songs. And I mean it...I got up and did homework I was going to do now, so I can play around between classes and maybe even have a reasonable lunch. What utter luxury.

Today's song (surprise!): "The Modern Age" - The Strokes

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January 23rd

Hmmm. Major test tomorrow. I feel prepared. Something is clearly amiss. I did a majority of the reading, and am now making myself very concise study notes. They're almost done. WTF is wrong with me?

I think I've accidentally gotten inspired to do well in school. I talked with Dr. Sung-Ho Kim, the advisor for the honors Poly Sci program, and now I hold the honors college here in much higher regard than I did previously. Apparently they outrank even Reed in a lot of Rhodes/Mellon scholar things, which is excellent considering I have no idea what I want to do in grad school except have somebody else pay for it.

Further proof that I am the Lord High Poobah Marshal General of Nerds - the inaugural Oriental Adventures Dungeons and Dragons campaign opens later tonight at Shivley Hall. I will be playing the part of Okami Kakita, Samurai. You may address me as Kakita-san. It's funny, because it's in Japanese. Now I understand why, in Evangelion (which all things point to, eventually), Misata addresses Shinji as 'Shinji-kun' and everyone else as '-san.' Kun is for people younger or 'beneath' you in station. San is for equals. Sama is for superiors. More potentially useful knowledge. Well, time to continue being a good college student...for now.

Today's song: "Engel" - Rammstein

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January 21st, 4:30 PM

Lesson one: Do not update webpage while drunk. Ever. EVER. Heh.

I pondered taking down my drunken rambling (yeah, I know it's not that bad), but I decided that would be somehow wrong. Even though I have a resumé here and ostensibly could show this webpage to people who want me to do things for money, I think the journal's integrity is more important for now. Wait, who cares?

I have a bunch of work I'm doing, and I keep thinking, I could be reading a book right now and absorbing a lot more information. Which then leads me to think, what good is absorbing information, anyway? If one can learn the principles behind the knowledge, learning the knowledge just becomes something one can do whenever necessary, and not before. This leads to staring out of the window during class, when there is a window available (rarely, let me tell you, stupid interior rooms) and musing and not getting much done. I think that was what Hamlet was about - getting caught between indecision and action and not doing anything. I thought this picture of Shinji (from Evangelion) captured that feeling pretty well. Too bad I can't pilot a 500 foot high machine for a living, that would make me a bit more focused.

100 level classes are hard to gauge. I feel that, probably, I could never do anthropology homework and still get a B+. To get an A, however, I probably have to a huge amount of work. Ahh, the temptation of mediocrity. Political Science is mainly a class about principles, which equates to "getting the general idea" and not having to memorize very much at all. Hooray. History is the same except there's roughly sixteen times as much reading and you have to convince someone that you did, in fact, get the general idea, by writing for a few hours. Spanish is just...spanish.

If you've never used it, discover dictionary.com, a great website. It has saved me many times. Well, back to work.

This afternoon's song: "Only Happy When it Rains" - Garbage

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January 21st

Well, I am sloshed. The Kung Fu party was a success. I can't believe I'm typing coherently.

Being drunk always causes me to think, "Should I be doing this?" But this is invariably met with, "But all those hot girls you met! Oh, man!" Goodbye, scruples...Hello, ladies...

Other thoughts: This has been a Kung Fu-themed day, but today (MLK day) I have a lot of work to do...I had a hard-ass workout today and breathing hurts sometimes, so I am going to bed. Drinking a lot of water is good to do after you drink alcohol. It will either make you puke or sober you up. A hangover is just not having enough water to process all the toxins. Oh well. Good night.

Today's song: "I'm Fading" - Jewel

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January 20th

A Beautiful Mind is probably worth your money. Some of John Nash's little mental issues reminded me of things I do, except for the whole visual delusion issue. I guess being a crazy mathematician can't be too bad, as long as you're at Princeton. Mmm. Time for homework and sleep.

Today's song: "Rock and Roll McDonald's" - The Wesley Willis Fiasco

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January 19th

Just got done singing at the OU/Miami basketball game...the pageantry associated with sports is really fun, even though it's all an exercise in group mentality. My point is, who cares? A lot of people put down sports completely, just because they involve getting lost inside of a group. Control freaks. I know, because I am one. Oh well. It's a cause for a day. Die, Miami, die.

I've made a habit of glancing at The Art of War from time to time for inspiration. It began senior year in high school band, when I had to take a rather difficult series of scale tests on trumpet. They would have been easy if I hadn't picked up the trumpet last year and then ignored it all summer. I was reading Sun Tzu, and the chapter on 'Planning a Siege' seemed analogous to my situation, so I buried myself in the idea that "If you know others and know yourself, you shall not be imperiled in a thousand battles" and somehow pulled it off. A lot of people say Sun Tzu is great hardcore philosophy for the business world. I suppose it would be, but it does turn the whole world into a series of hostile encounters. But it does it so subtly! Like, "Oh, if you need to do this, here is the perfect way to do it: apply all possible force at the moment of contact." Have to cross the street? Sprint! Perfectly!

Finished Evangelion last night. A lot of philosophical musing towards the end. But a very great anime experience, if you can see drama in cartoons (it takes some faith). Afterwards Matt and Tic debriefed us on all the hidden shit within the series we missed and I realized I am no longer good at figuring out the ending before I see it. I used to be able to know the ending of a movie by seeing the poster, now I think I actually just sit there and experience it. Terrible, huh? :)

Today's song: "Clint Eastwood" - Gorillaz

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January 16th

Man's greatest accomplishment, excluding global thermonuclear war, digital watches, true love, birth control, and ramen noodles, is surely Neon Genesis Evangelion. Well, no, but it's pretty good, for anime. I think you ought to watch it. Why aren't you?

Classes are neutral. Not bad, not good, I could be learning more, I think, but then one always can. Social life is a priority - must establish one, heh...party this weekend for kung fu club, and the last one was pretty decent, so that's good. There's something fascinating about watching Ghost in the Shell, drunk, while Moby plays in the background. It was a goodness.

Hey, you? Are you female? Be my girlfriend! Desperate guys are very devoted! I'm a political science major who likes long walks in the library and, as Keanu Reeves once said, "I know Kung Fu."

Sort of.

As a metaphysical aside: it's impossible to retain the past in any physical form. That's why we have memory. So throw out the shit you don't need, you'll feel better. Especially if it involves emotional baggage. Example: I got rejected from Princeton last year, surprise surprise, and when I realized I really didn't give a shit, except for some part of my ego (which is big, sadly) I took my princeton stuff and burned it in the backyard. I'm sort of proud of that. Yeah, yeah, it's stupid...shush. Little acts of liberation are good for you.

Don't know what brought that up...getting the application to re-activate at Reed and doing laundry, I guess?

HEY! Have you STILL not signed my guestbook? God. Come on. Take pity on my meaningless life, redeemed only my false belief that this page has a real impact on a number of people, and pretend to care. I'll give you 35 bonus points. And a cookie!

Today's song: "Glycerine" - Bush

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January 13th

Just a quick update tonight, much reading to do if I am going to have a sane week.

I made the following photo montage using Photoshop...a collection of random shots from the first week at OU. I had trouble putting it together, and it's not perfect, but I like it.

Oh well. At least I'm busy.

Today's song: "Inside" - Moby

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January 10th

Today merits a journal entry. I have been having up and down days at OU so far, and am still torn about my academic schedule (Spanish is boring! I long for useless Greek or wonderful German!). However! Gradually I think I am coming to accept OU, and thus exploit it the best I can. I'm horribly busy and find THAT I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO PLAY CIVILIZATION 3. You may think that's a small thing. I assure you it is not. Having just enough time to eat, do a little bit of pleasure reading, and chat online, is really refreshing, because it means I am doing work. Wow. Imagine that, dear readers. Yeah, both of you!

What exactly is it that gives a feeling of satisfaction upon being kicked out of Ping (rec center on campus) because it's midnight and it needs to close? Arrogance, I think. But that's okay. "I was the last one out, ha ha, I'm fanatically devoted to kung fu, I can kick your ass." Except, no, not really.

Wil Wheaton, who played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: TNG, has a web page similar to mine and a lot more readers. It's a pretty good page, actually. I liked it, maybe you will too.

Continuing that whole "not enough time" theme...goodnight.

For 1,250 bonus points, identify the movie from which this quote is taken:

"Who are these? Friends of yours? Now this really pisses me off to no end!"

Today's song: "Rocky Raccoon" - Beatles

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January 8th

Hmmm. Forgot what I was going to say. Pass me the bottle, Mr. Jones...

Today's song: "Mr Jones" - Counting Crows

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January 3rd

Yeah, so I slept through Anthropology...stupid hitting wrong frickin' button on the alarm clock, rackin'frackin'grumble...no harm done, though, no attendance taken and it's a fairly large class. Yet another narrow escape in the world of academia.

I've decided to change my major to political science, and will go about that tomorrow if anyone is still in the offices. Greek is going bye-bye, and will in some way be replaced with some poly sci class. I have a heavy social science load now, I should probably do some of my other requirements...I had a dream today while I was mindlessly web-browsing between classes of dropping all serious study except for computer science and going off to work for some computer game company, until I realized that I still suck at math. So I got a book that talks about how not to suck at math, instead.

T1 lines make me smile. People doing pyramid shots make me smile. And most of all, music. What would I do without audiogalaxy? Probably go insane and shoot people, or something dumb.

Per request (!) I have put the old journal entries up again.

Today's song: "Book of Days" - Enya If anyone calls me a pussy for liking Enya, I'll kick their ass.

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January 2nd

I'm now back at OU, in a freezing cold room. Damn cheapskates...don't turn on the heat before we start arriving, no, no, no trouble at all...

I think I have too many classes. I should go with fewer classes and more time to goof off, seeing as how that is an important part of college, and possibly more educational than any class. Right now I'm taking Anthropology, Greek, Spanish, History, and a couple little 1-credit classes like swimming and choir. It's a lot of time every week, especially on this damn quarter system. When I thought I was going to Reed, I worked out an austere, three-class semester that I should consider porting to the OU system: Humanities, Chemistry, Spanish. Of course, at OU, I get free tuition, as long as I take at least 16 hours (four classes, give or take). I attach classes to my hobbies too directly. I'm thinking of dropping Greek for Creative Writing. What will that accomplish? It'll force me to do some writing (good) but attach grades to it (bad, maybe?) making it more of an exercise than anything.

I don't think anyone can teach you to write. They can just say, "I understand" or "Good" or "What the hell?" The best one can hope for is honest criticism. How do you grade that? Everybody enters at a different level, writing is not an exact science.

Oh well, who knows...all I know is that I have to get up absurdly early, agonize about dropping Greek, which for all its uselessness was my favorite class last quarter, eat breakfast (haven't done that more than twice at school) and then go to Anthropology at 9. What the hell?

Today's song: "Whisky in the Jar" - Metallica (gotta love a song with lyrics like "I first produced my pistol, then produced my rapier; I said, stand and deliver, or the devil he may take ya!"

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December 31st

Winter Quarter at Ohio University starts on a Thursday. Many classes do not meet Friday. Why bring us back four days early? Why? Grrr.

Quick note: Jupiter and Saturn are going to be aligned with the moon tonight, so if you're not too terribly drunk, you might care to glance up at the moon (assuming it's not cloudy) and check out the biggest planet at its brightest. Yay astronomy.

Today's song: "Mad About You" - Hooverphonic

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December 20th

First of all, Fellowship of the Ring, the first in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, is the greatest fantasy movie ever made, without question. You, whoever you are, should see it. Just don't buy your tickets from Fandango.com, because they suck.

I've actually started to read the book now, and it's not nearly as exciting as the movie. I remember why I couldn't finish it the first time...Tolkien leaves no detail out, spares no word. He paints a complete picture of the world and makes sure that you see every corner of it. I find myself skipping paragraphs to get to the action. His style is archaic but I suppose that is to be expected from someone who invented an entire language (Elvish) for his own satisfaction.

I am toying with the radical idea of not transferring schools next year. I put some time into researching what opportunities exist at OU and found enough that I could do very well academically/internship-wise and still have free time for Kung Fu, Model UN, and sleep. There's a program called the Global Learning Community which involves three annual trips abroad in a business-like atmosphere where international relations and language skills are used practically. Wow! So there is a reason to do well in Spanish class - money! I think that's the best reason, aside from misguided idealism, to do well in any class. If it's fun, bonus!

Along these same lines, I am pondering dropping my Greek class. Although I would probably make a good classics-major-type, there is an angry little voice in my heart that screams, "NO! USELESS!" And I think that voice, obstreperous as it is, has a point. Beginning German is offered this quarter, and I've always wanted to learn German. I'm also planning on changing my major to Political Science. While the reason I will give to the department is "A desire to learn to work change within both domestic and international contexts while taking advantage of acquired communication skills" I think the real reason is twofold: First, I watched an episode of the West Wing and decided I wanted to be on the White House staff, and second, I bet the internships are a hell of a lot better than any other major. Bonus!

I've given up seeking employment, I have failed five times and that's enough of an excuse for me. So I am going to (really) call Habitat for Humanity and volunteer (I swear). In fact, I'll call them RIGHT NOW! Well, that's done, stupid voicemail...I hate not talking to people personally. Ah well.

My creative energies are being consumed by Tolkien, damn him, so I'm going to go write a cheap rip-off story and perhaps make a career of it.

Today's song: "Say It Ain't So" - Weezer

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December 13th

Just read the Surgeon General's report on why America is a nation of fatasses (surprise!).

The first steps: daily physical education for every student, more healthful school foods, ``reasonable portions'' at fast-food restaurants, and safe places for all Americans to exercise. ``We're not talking about quick-fix diets,'' Satcher said. ``We're talking about lifestyles.'' Some 60 percent of adults are overweight or obese, as are nearly 13 percent of children. The toll has been rising for a decade, and threatens to wipe out progress fighting cancer, heart disease and other ailments, Satcher warned.
- Associated Press Reports, wire.ap.org

The S.G.'s point about lifestyles is important. Even though our food-rich capitalism society does actively attempt to feed us things that are not necessarily good for us, it is still possible to eat a balanced meal every meal of the day, assuming all things are equal (which of course they are NOT). Personally I have a dangerous attraction to greasy food, and especially while I am at OU, it is hard to assemble a good meal out of the choices. The vegan dishes are just not very good, unfortunately.

Daily P.E. is a great idea. That is, if schools didn't already have to shove a number of state or federally required classes into limited schedules, with limited funding. My high school offers 2 semesters of P.E. To make it daily would quadruple the hours spent by teachers and students, and probably strain facilities in some cases. I'd rather schools just require 4 seasons of sports involvement, but that would leave coaches in a difficult position...who wants a liability player when winning is what brings in donor dollars? In the case of education, the government either needs to get completely out of the way or back its words up with more money. Don't equivocate.

Vast differences between economic groups in health are not surprising. Fast-food is not necessarily cheaper, but it is easier, and when both your parents (or your only parent) works all the time, it is much easier for you to go to McDonald's with friends in a similar situation rather than teach yourself how to cook, go to the grocery store, etc. A balanced diet requires energy and time and people who are just getting by working 50-60 hours a week do not have either to spare. There is link here to the mediocre selection in my college cafeteria - the Ohio University food service is hardly showered with money, and it is not a major for-profit operation (although the price of eating there may make it seem otherwise...). I do not know, specifically, if the University makes any money from board, so I won't dabble in that. What I do know is that when I visited Reed College, the food was incredible. Not simply because it is a private school-there are some private schools with horrendous food, I'm sure-but because the board plan is contracted out to a private operator, called Bon Appetit. At Reed you can walk into the dining hall and ask for a hamburger, and they reach into a small fridge and get out a meat patty and put it onto a grill and make it to order. With 1,300 people (approx. Reed enrollment), this works. With 16,000 (OU), it does not. Any way you look at it, money makes a difference in health.

But if 60% of adults are overweight or obese, and 60% of adults are not in poverty, there is more to blame than money. Lack of physical activity is chiefly to blame. I suspect that today's food, while more plentiful, is still more nutritious than it was several hundred years ago. It is very possible (often, wise) to eat a fair amount of fat calories if this is balanced by vigorous, prolonged physical activity. When I went canoeing in Minnesota, there were fights at dinnertime over seconds. After all, we were canoeing roughly twelve miles a day, and carrying packs and canoes over several half-mile portages. When I returned to OU, I'd lost weight, despite eating like a pig at every meal. Mountain climbers often eat raw butter just to provide the necessary fat calories for operating in sub-zero temperatures and high altitudes. But when the most vigorous activity in one's day is playing typing instant messages to friends, entering data for nine hours, or playing John Madden's Football on Xbox, there should be no surprise that there is really nowhere for fat calories to go. Ah, video games again...

Nobody can force a person to eat healthy foods and exercise. I've heard that you aren't supposed to feed babies juice, because the sugar turns to fat, and directs development in that direction. Also, almost noone drinks enough water. A doctor told me that 8 glasses is what is required before taking into account water loss through sweat from exercise. I go to Kung Fu and sweat a half liter, easily...that's just me, of course, because I keep wavering back and forth between coming very close to ideal weight and joining that growing 60%. Also, caffeine and carbonated drinks sap water from the body and need to be compensated for. Water is life. Drink it.

If you've never gone camping and had to work hard for your food, I strongly reccommend it. Just like the marvelous taste of a glass of water when you've just ran on a hot day, food is always more enjoyable when you actually need it. And for God's sake, go do something aerobic. I can't stand running - I like hiking. Dancing works, too. There are plenty of things to do. Ultimately, it's your responsibility. If you won't take my advice, take a biblical lesson: "The body is a temple." Keep it clean.

Today's song: "Missing" - everything but the girl

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December 12th

Man. I had a confusing day. I woke up after somehow sleeping for 12 hours (why, damn it?) and did approximately nothing except get mad at myself that I wasn't doing something. Wow, productive day! Good job, idiot.

I'm toying with my ideas for volunteering, and tomorrow will determine which way I go-work or non-profit...going to call up the places I applied to and say how much I really desire employment at their wonderful places of business, and screw them if they no. My mom had the excellent idea of working somewhere where I'd have to speak Spanish constantly to get anything done. I think that's a great idea, I'd be willing to do it for free, even though I'd really like to actually earn some money towards this vague concept of financial independence...

I'm also determined to acquire some arcane and occult skill that nobody else within 50 miles has, such as mastery of the didgeridoo or zither, or perhaps something not so weird like photography or art. Kung fu is a start, I guess (and, I'm testing for my white sash(the first one) on the 22nd, wish me luck) Ancient Greek goes in that direction as well, but there are still similarities between even the attic and ionic dialects and modern English. I want to learn something totally alien, like kazakh or uzbek, or maybe urdu. It would probably be marketable just because nobody knows them. But then again, who wants them? Besides Kazakhs, Uzbeks, and Afghans/Pakistanis, that is.

Whatever. More pipe dreams later. Final thought - Video games are the scourge of young adult males everywhere!

Today's song - "Magus' Theme" - Chrono Trigger Soundtrack

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December 11th

Just posted the new section on my road trip, have a look. I had a great time.

Other thoughts: kung fu serves one good purpose so far, and that is to clear my mind of all the bullshit of being home, keeps me from staying up ALL night. I think my Sifu could make a very effective military officer.

Still trying to get a job...applied at Waldenbooks (my first choice) as well as B Dalton's and Suncoast Video. If none of those work out, I may just do volunteer work. I was thinking about the Greater Cleveland AIDS Task Force, but I doubt they actually take volunteers without clinical training. There's always Habitat for Humanity, and the opportunity to learn more carpentry...

I just finished The Pillars of Creation. My opinion is mixed, mostly because I felt the ending was very lackluster. The whole story takes a different angle on the Sword of Truth, and then the ending is ridiculously typical. I had hoped it would be the best of the series, but it's more or less along the lines of Faith of the Fallen, which was a lot of preaching by the author. It's not bad preaching, but isn't as captivating as the drama of Wizard's First Rule. I think about this far too much, but oh well, they're good stories.

Today's song: "Because the Night" - 10,000 Maniacs

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December 5th

Tomorrow I'm embarking on more driving than I can comfortably concieve of to visit friends and schools on the east coast. Whee!

I bought Stephen King's Hearts in Atlantis, read by William Hurt, which will occupy me for 21 hours, which is most of the trip. I'm going to Swarthmore College, visiting people I know at Yale, West Point, and in Boston, including the marvelous all girls school at Wellesley. Fun fun fun.

Swarthmore, which books written by educators claim is much like Reed, is not nearly as hospitable to visit. While closer, it doesn't interview transfers and doesn't allow overnight visits. Maybe because they actually focus on learning. Like that's important. Get real, sell the school, give me free food, come on...

I'm going to look into ONE more school, which is Antioch College right here in Ohio. I know next to nothing about it other but I figure it's an hour and a half away, why not?

Oh well. I have to pack some clothes and finish reading the new sword of truth book before I leave. Pillars of Creation is good so far, Terry Goodkind somehow found a way to breathe new life into the series. If you're a fan of it, get this one, you'll love it. Interesting sidenote - Terry Goodkind is a major follower of the philosophies of Ayn Rand. And he writes pretty good fantasy anyway, imagine that.

Song of the day - "Idioteque" - Radiohead

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December 3rd

Homebound college student, frustration, and copious amounts of free time equal creative writing.

Added stuff to writings section, and the underused "Factual" column. First, my Nazism paper. Steal ideas from it and propagate them, please. Also added updated version of Trent and Candyland. It's going in a crazy direction, I've lost control of it, so I may trash it.

It's been more than a month, and I'm still updating this page fairly regularly. This is a happy and good-making thing, regardless of if anyone even reads it. I like doing it. Eventually I'm going to start adding pointless features to the page as a way of learning more HTML. Today I learned to use META tags so you can now search for my page through Google or something. Soon, navigate the online writings of Mike Jacobson...in java!

I just noticed that it's December. Hmmmm. What do I want for Christmas? Peace in the Middle East? A Playstation 2, Xbox, or Gamecube? IT?

Actually, I'd probably settle for true love. But Civilization 3 wouldn't hurt, either. If you can't have love, you may as well have world domination.

Hey! Go sign my guestbook! Hurry!

Today's song: "Everlong" - Foo Fighters

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November 30th

Just finished putting up a pretty big section about my trip to Reed, have a look. A good time was had by all. I'm going to bed.

Today's song: "Hung Over as the Ovens in Maida" - Godspeed You Black Emperor!

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November 27th

Well, tomorrow I go to Portland, and I'm anxious as all hell about it. Even getting on the plane is going to be a small ordeal, for I have to drive to Columbus just to connect to Cincinatti and then on to Portland, which means I have to get up at 2:00 AM for a 7:00 AM flight (2 hours to drive, 2 hours to have my belongings inspected, 1 hour for breathing room). It should give me a chance to do a lot of reading...

Not much else on my mind, really.

Today's song(s): anything (almost) by Nelly Furtado. Also, "Lightning Crashes" by Live, which I think is (vocabulary alert) elegaic.

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November 23rd

Warning! sentimental drivel ahead.

Thanksgiving is a holiday I never got too excited about, and today was no exception. As the years have gone on, the number of relatives at the various holiday have fluctuated, and recently they've been pretty irregular. Because my dad died a few years ago, I no longer see much of his side of the family. I have a lot of younger cousins on my mom's side, and I've never quite been able to relate to them. Holidays, and their numerous birthdays, are often chores for me. My thoughts are usually, "I could be reading/sleeping/going somewhere else," and all in all I am not very enthusiastic about family events.

One of my few older cousins, David came to Thanksgiving this year and asked me to give him the grand tour of the realm, which consisted largely of our large backyard. This requires some explanation. My house is situated on a normal lot, but we also own the lot on one side of the house and it is empty, with grass and a shed and some trees. Along one side of the empty lot is what has become a wall of pine trees. These trees each once sat in our living room as our live, real christmas tree, while we had another one in the family room which was fake and only for myself, mom, dad, and the cats, who always get presents as well.

We didn't actually go out into the yard, but stood on the open-air screen porch on the back of my house. When I had finished showing which tree corresponded to which year and where the last live tree (we no longer buy them) was planted, David commented that it was really amazing that I could measure time by trees. He then talked about how "his uncle Jim" (my dad) had built the porch we were standing on by hand, as well as the shed. He and his friend were very impressed, and I, who take such things as a normal part of my life, was surprised.

Having returned from OU just a few days ago, I am disoriented in my own home. David's comments made me realize two things, in a horribly corny, thanksigivingish way. Firstly, that I have it pretty damn well, and secondly, that there is value in carpentry and landscaping skills, neither of which I am in possession of. Seeing another person's perspective on your own life is shocking, even if only on a thing as mundane as a line of trees or a porch.

I also was able, sort of, to communicate with my younger cousins, through the wonderful equalizer of video games. If we were a more athletic family, it would have been football, but, well, we aren't. So it was Counterstrike and Super Nintendo between dinner and dessert. Children intimidate me, I think because I was somewhat withdrawn as a child and don't know what to expect.

Portland in 5 days. Getting excited...

Final thought: Jared reminded me of something very important today. Girls: They're great!

Today's song: "Army" - Ben Folds Five

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November 22nd

Happy Thanksgiving. Food is good.

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November 18th

There's nothing more painful than writing a major paper all in one sitting. There are few things as mentally exhausting. I suppose this final exam has served a purpose, I now understand Lewis Carroll more than I ever cared to. Mostly I just feel sorry for the guy, he had some mixed up feelings regarding emotion.

Mmmm. Get to go home tomorrow. Real food. Money. Free laundry. Big fuzzy cat. What would home be without the big fuzzy cat...?

By the way...everything on the page should work now, be spelled correctly, and cause viewers to feel inspired and driven to be great. If there is a problem, please tell me. Thanks.

Today's song: "Born Slippy" - Underworld

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November 16th

Exams to study for: 2
Pages of 8-Page paper written as of 2:09 AM: 0
Days remaining in fall quarter: 3

Well, exams are foremost on my mind, but I'm not terribly worried. I have enough time that my relaxed studying will actually work, and I should do fairly well in this "all-important" establishment of my new, college-level GPA. Whoo-hoo. Bring on the fellowships for advanced study.

I have not exercised faithfully in some time, but today I've been very good about it, walking everywhere, up and down stairs, going to Kung Fu, and doing morning stretching/jogging. I ran and felt horrible, but at least I ran. I think I'm beginning to acquire the freshman 15, or at least 10, and being a fat American already, I need to combat it.

I have been glancing at Sun Tzu's The Art of War before going to bed, to try to solidify goals in my head in a stern, military context. So far, it's working. I likened running to a military campaign (I'm insane) and by damn if I didn't get up this morning, after a few false starts, and do it.

Happy news. My trip to Portland has been approved and finalized, as has the road trip to the east coast. I cannot express how much I am looking forward to traveling, because there ought to be some interesting sights to see, people to meet, and parties to crash. I believe in seeing Oregon, Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut, I will be seeing about as many states as I have in the rest of my life, not counting the ones I've driven through. But really I'll only be seeing Reed, Yale, West Point, Hampshire (new destination!), and the other schools.

I was thinking today that a good way to pay off loans from a private school would be to join the army for awhile. I've always been sorta/kinda interested, and part of me would probably enjoy getting forced to get into shape, saving me the trouble of learning to discipline myself from scratch. However, after a liberal arts education I would probably shun the army, leaving me radical and poor. Maybe a radical perspective would "enrich" the "diversity" of the armed forces. Or not.

Today's quote: To win without fighting is best. - Sun Tzu

Today's song: "One and Only" covered by Gebrauche Musik.

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November 13th

I woke up to the deaths of 265 people (the plane crash in NYC) and dismissed it almost instantly. So it goes. What the hell can I do about it, except feel despair? And if I despair, what can I accomplish? Thus, dismissal. How awful.

Secondly, I went to Columbus and sang in a major concert. We mentioned the terrorist attacks as part of the reason we were singing Salvation Belongeth to Our God and America the Beautiful. The crowd went nuts when we finished. Absolutley nuts. We were singing with the OU marching 110, who were the stars of the show, and we stole it from them. Briefly. But were they clapping for US for the U.S.? I guess it doesn't matter terribly much.

Finally. While we were in Columbus I wandered into Waldenbooks during our free time and was reading a book of cynical quotes when I found a book called "Colleges that Change Lives." Guess what. It had a section on Reed College. I read it. Big mistake. It was so glowingly positive that I immediately relapsed into, "I'm an idiot for not going there" mode. The bus ride home was surreal. I looked up at the stars and thought that the greatest mistake I ever made was compromising my seemingly absurd values with regard to college. Like I'm so miserable here or something.

Is it possible to feel the same way about a place as it is about a person? I just set up my visit date at Reed and felt physical pleasure at its confirmation. I've built a castle in the clouds out of Reed, because it stands for every hope for an ideal school I've ever had. God, what if it IS as good as it seems? What does one DO when they confront what they've always dreamed of? Cower like a pet store puppy that's never known freedom? Or run at it blindly and with a desperate, terrified, optimism?

Today, people in Afghanistan are being liberated, sort of, from oppressive rule. Supporters of the Taliban are being executed in the streets, or fleeing to Kandahar, the "spiritual capital of the Taliban." Reminds me of the Nazi plan to form a "national redoubt" around Nuremberg and the alps and fight to the death...sorry, historical side notes are a habit of mine...As to whether or not the Northern Alliance will bring real order and democracy and all the good things of life, as we see them, I have no frickin' clue. But they can play music again. And get haircuts. And I think that's probably a step in the right direction. So despite all my liberal, anti-war sentiments, yay for them. Get a haircut. Dance a dance. Get another haircut, just for the hell of it. And then chow down on some authentic, pre-packaged, United States Airborne Ration Packets. Mmmmm...

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November 11th

Hello.

Finals are approaching here at OU, and I am meanwhile besieged by the twin armies of apathy (my classes, save one, are not that interesting) and the Singing Men of Ohio, who require a large amount of my time. SMO is a lot of fun but always has concerts at inconvenient times. I am also in the midst of planning my multi-state winter break road trip. You try getting plane tickets to Portland on a budget...

I've noticed I become very productive when everybody else goes to bed (it's 6 AM) and I wonder why. I cleaned my room, took out the trash, dusted, sorted my papers, and made my bed all after 1 AM today. I am either neurotic or anti-social or very possibly both. It would be interesting to actually be nocturnal but I doubt that is the case.

Ah well. That's all for now. I'll get the other links up after this week's exams.

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November 1st

Here is my long-anticipated return to regularly updating my electronic journal, I'm now taking bets on how long it will last...

Halloween in Athens, for those of you who don't know, is a big deal. Very big. There's a lot of talk that it is the third-largest party in the world, outdone only by New Year's Eve in Times Square and Mardi Gras in New Orleans. The Athens police are very strict, and tend to take a proactive role rather than the "sit back and watch and clean up tomorrow" attitude that surrounds most parties. The Athens townies just aren't down with the righteousness of thirty thousand people in less than one square mile, all drunk and loud. I tend not to party much, but I think this is as good an excuse as any. May the alcohol flow freely.

On the back burner of my mind are two related things: my desire to transfer to another school, and the road trip I am planning to visit potential schools. When I applied to school, I was sort of an aimless fool. Princeton University mailed me an application, so I put in hours and hours doing it only to get rejected (surprise!) and realize I probably didn't want to go there anyway. In total, I applied to seven colleges. I got into three: OU (here I am), Swarthmore, and Reed. OU has been fairly good to me but hardly a day passes that I think I could be doing a lot more than I am. I feel like I am basically in high school, except for a slightly more diverse group of people, a lot more of them, and somewhat more homework. And there is the very nice living-in-my-own-room-and-not-having-to-clean-it-unti- it's-absolutley-unbearable-to-organic-life aspect, too.

Reed and Swarthmore are small, 1,300 and 1,600 students respectively, and focus on small classes and a broad liberal arts curriculum and making their students feel happy and special that they have the privlege to shell out $32,000 a year to attend. And smart people flock to them seeking enlightenment and a good environment for whatever it is they want to do. When I got into Reed, they sent me a poster with quotes from some of the accepted students' "Why I Chose Reed" essays (mine did not make the cut, sadly). They all emphasized that Reed was a unique place for unique people and a free thinker's paradise. After that, I began referring to all Reed mailings as "Reed Propaganda." They're terribly good at it, their viewbook is a work of art.

But I spoke with a few students, and either the propaganda is so good that students are totally brainwashed into believing that Reed is Utopia, or it's actually just about what its cracked up to be. One of my friends told me her professor said that the four best schools in America are Reed, Swarthmore, Yale, and one other one that I'm forgetting, probably Princeton or Harvard. To think that *I* got into two of them is mind-boggling because I'm honestly not much of a high-grades kind of guy. But apparently I fit their profile.

So, coming back (finally) to the present day, I am left debating whether or not liberal-arts schools are actually just well-organized cults or if they actually offer something you cannot find at a major university. I'm driving from my hometown, Olmsted Falls, Ohio, to Swarthmore, Pennsylvania, and then visiting some friends at other schools in the east. I'll fly out to Portland, Oregon, and check out the secluded vale of Reed...we'll see just how broke I'm willing to go...

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And that is the end. Or maybe the beginning.