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THE BARRY PAGE
"Hey...what the...? there's BULLETS in this gun! Now how the heck did those get in there?"
Yeah, that's right. What other sites do you know that would dedicate an entire page to king doof Barry Burton? Now, the question that rages in the brains of most RESIDENT EVIL is: Just how stupid IS this man?! Just how many times does he screw up anyway?! Let's use a numbered list.
The very first time Barry runs into a zombie he shoots it's head off in three shots. Did you hear that? Three! He's got a magnum for petes sakes! Perhaps Barry just used the first two shots to blow off the zombies ears, trying to look cool for Jill.
Remember the time when Barry had Jill shimmy down a rope into a dark hole, and then DROPPED THE ROPE? Real smooth Barry. I'm still not clear as to why Jill didn't just throw the rope back up. Maybe Barry is as bad a catch as he is a shot. Anyway, after he comes back to the hole with another rope (he must have a stockpile of slippery rope somewhere in the mansion) Jill keenly sums up the situation by saying "I never thought THAT would happen." Don't feel bad Jill, no one can predict what Barry will do next.
After Barry conks Wesker on the back of the head (BONUS FOUL UP: Barry manages to knock Wesker out juuuuuuust long enough for him to have time to regain consciousness and go set off the mansion self destruct) he has the amazing notion that maybe they should just have a little peek at this so called "Tyrant". I suspect that Barry was just trying to look studly to Jill, again. It wouldn't be so bad if not for the next thing...
Upon confronting the Tyrant, Barry magically picks the one button out of a hundred that will drain the water out of the Tyrants tank (which allows him to escape for reasons unknown). Then, in his final Barry-ism, he draws his gun and MISSES SO BAD IT'S A WONDER THE TYRANT DOESN'T DIE LAUGHING. In fact, Barry doesn't even get a chance to shoot, but if you see the angle we was holding his gun at you'll get the idea. Yeah, it's true, Barry has some real trouble with his magnum. So, the Tyrant leaves Barry with his intestines all over the place, and Jill, once again, has to do all the work.
Barry's greatest hits
People say all kinds of loopy things in RESIDENT EVIL, but no one can top Barry for sheer volume and wackiness.
"you, are the master of unlocking"
"What IS this place?!"
"This Place is DANGEROUS"
(more coming soon, as soon as ASHMAN buys RE:DC he can have exact quotes.)
"The Master of Unlocking"
A whole lot has been made about this particular Barry-ism, every magazine that had a feature on this game mentioned it. Why? Well, obviously is sounds a bit unnatural. This is NOT English as we know it. It's Japanese English. So, it sounds funny. But lets take a second to meditate on the true BAD-NESS of this line...
meditate HARD...
Here's something to make the meditation more enjoyable: Do you realize that someone actually had to SAY that line? And shouldn't we assume that this person UNDERSTOOD English as well as spoke it? So, wonder to yourself, "What the hell was going on in the mind of the man who said it?" I mean, that line makes little sense in ANY situation! I think we Americans are being messed with a fair deal. Start meditating again...
OK...
Heres a little activity...try to think of a line MORE awkward and strange then "master of unlocking" Are you thinking? Stop! It's impossible! Your head will blow up before you can even come CLOSE to something as goofy as "the master of unlocking."
CLICK HERE TO ESCAPE FROM BARRY