 | At last, I'm organized! she said, and then died... |
| Badges? *WE* don't need any stinkin' badges! <e.g.> |
| Could you continue your petty bickering? I find it most intriguing. |
| Did you miss me?........"Yes, with every shot so far!" |
| Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other. |
| Gee, Mr. Wizard! Aren't nuclear reactors dangerous? |
| Guns don't kill. Fast-moving projectiles do. |
| Hate is not a "traditional family value." |
| He has become One with Himself! "He's passed out!" "That too." |
| I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone. |
| "I'm a masochist. Beat me!" "I'm a sadist! NO!" |
| I'm firm, you're obstinate, he's pig-headed... |
| I'm just here for moral support. Ignore the gun. |
| In toto does =not= mean Dorothy's dog ate it! |
| It's easy. Just hold the dull part and hit him with the sharp part. |
| "Mine?" "Forever." "Only
forever?" "Forever... and ever." |
| Never invoke gods unless you want them to appear... |
| Oh, great, a chasm. Okay, who's got the rope? |
| Push to test. <click> "Release to detonate." |
| Say something soft and sweet. "Marshmallow." |
| Say the secret word & be assimilated. Groucho of Borg |
| Star Trek is okay, but I prefer science fiction. |
| Stories themselves are not inherently funny. It is the telling of them that is.
Tamsen Botinelly |
| Superior firepower is valuable when negotiating. Patton |
| Tea, Earl Grey, Hot. -Picard |
| Tell it once, you're a wit. Twice, a half-wit."Geometric progression?" |
| Thank you for calling Heaven. If you want to be saved, press one... |
| The circle is now complete. -- Darth Vader |
| The earthling has stolen the space modulator! -- The Martian |
| The Fly III starring Elmer Fudd. Be afwaid. Be vewy afwaid. |
| The spice must flow!! |
| What do we call the Land Down Under? "Dirt, mostly." |
| What's your first initial? "Y" "Cause I wanna know." |
| When we judge others, we judge ourselves. <Caine> |
| Where are you? "Here." "You OK?"
"Yes." "Then I've shot a deer." |
| Wicca on Sesame Street is brought to you by "Blessed B." |
| Yogi, I don't think Mr. Ranger's going to like this . . . |
| You are all individuals! "We are all individuals...""No!I'm the
same!" |
| You've taken a vow of silence, how fascinating. Tell me about it. |
| (A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer. |
| *FLASH* Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. |
| *'M ST*P*D - I'd like to buy a vowel Pat, an 'O' |
| *MISSING* Tagline, 70 characters long, last seen in Hawaii. |
| *NOW* is a point in time that is already gone. |
| .neercs eht fo edis gnorw eht no era ouY |
| ///\oo/\\\ Bugs? What bugs? ///\oo/\\\ ///\oo/\\\ |
| <-------- The information went data way --------> |
| <!!crash!!> "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" |
| <Insert witty statement here.> |
| <nudge, nudge, wink, wink..say no more...> |
| <OUT OF TAGLINES-time to reorder> |
| <tap> <tap> <tap> Is this thing on? |
| =Church-Approved Apparition Site= |
| =League of Bloodthirsty Women= |
| =Pro Child Pro Choice= |
| 1 = 2, for sufficiently large values of 1. |
| 113 grams..... 10 milliliters ... he's lead, Jim. |
| 12 out of 10 schizophrenics agree... |
| 128000 bytes found in 32 lost chains. Convert to taglines (Y/N)? |
| 186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, It's the LAW. |
| 1e18 bottles of beer on the wall... |
| 2 + 2 = 5 for very large values of 2. |
| 3 most deadly words, "Go ahead..shoot" |
| 3 worst words to hear during sex: "Honey, I'm home!" |
| 3.5 inch hard is better than 5.25 inch floppy... |
| 43% of all statistics are worthless. |
| 667--The Neighbor of the Beast |
| 69%, nearly half, of all students have trouble with math! |
| 80666: The Microprocessor of the Beast |
| 9 out of 10 men who try Camels prefer women. |
| 911...... Press 1 if your house is on fire..... Press 2 if..... |
| 97.6% of all statistics are made up. |
| A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10 cent fuse by blowing first. |
| A bozon is the particle produced when clowns collide? |
| A call girl doesn't bang her head on car steering wheels. |
| A cheap dominatrix offers bargain debasements. |
| A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. |
| A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. |
| A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. |
| A confident manner is important: Computers can sense this! |
| A continuously immaculate house is the sign of a misspent life. |
| A crate of Uzi's, a carton of whiskey...lets go to Disney! |
| A critic is a sedentary person who teaches running. |
| A crucifix? Oi vey, have you got the wrong vampire! |
| A cult is a religion without political power. |
| A cynic is a person searching for an honest man-with a stolen lantern. |
| A cynic smells the flowers and looks for the casket... |
| A Dalek Borg: Resistance is futile. You will be as-si-mi-la-ted. |
| A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it? |
| A day without sunshine is like night. |
| A double garage means twice as much junk can be stored. |
| A feature is a bug with seniority. |
| A hangover is the wrath of grapes. |
| A hard man is good to find. |
| A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. |
| A little knowledge is dangerous and boy am I dangerous !! |
| A Magick Book that sticks with you: The VELCRONOMICON! |
| A morning without coffee is like something without ... something else. |
| A mother's typical response to her child: You did WHAT??? |
| A note from the Troublemaker! |
| A pedestrian is someone whose child is home from college. |
| A person should live forever, or die trying. |
| A preposition is something you shouldn't end a sentence with. |
| A problem can be found for almost every solution. |
| A procrastinator's work is never done. |
| A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. |
| A rose by any other name is damn confusing! |
| A rose for you. ---<--<-@ |
| A rumor has no legs but spreads anyway. |
| A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago. |
| A shamrock, of course, is not really one at all. |
| A shortcut is the longest distance between two points. |
| A signature can reveal character, and sometimes a name. |
| A single fact can spoil a good argument. |
| A Smith and Wesson beats four aces. |
| A social life? What board can I download THAT from? |
| A tagline at this point would be irrelevant, right? |
| A tagline? Or a reflection of a deadly reality? |
| A tax by any other name would still shrink your paycheck. |
| A truly advanced planet wouldn't use force. |
| A Twinkie has more preservatives than the average pharaoh! |
| A waist is a terrible thing to mind. |
| AAAA ¯ American Association for the Abolition of Acronyms |
| Abandon the search for truth: settle on a good fantasy. |
| Absobloominlutely. Never heard it put so succinctly. |
| Access denied - nahnny nahnny boo boo! |
| According to the Weather Channel, Hell just froze over. |
| Accordion: A bagpipe with pleats. |
| ACRONYM = Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding Meaning. |
| Action should culminate in wisdom ... |
| AD&D:Visit foreign lands, meet new people, and kill them. |
| Adam shouldn't have had an Apple either. |
| Adam was a rough draft. |
| Adolescence: prepares parents to welcome the empty nest. |
| Aerospace engineering: Not just a job--an adventure *finding* a job. |
| After dinner, he said, "Your modem or mine?" |
| After we pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is NOT our friend! |
| Against stupidity, the Gods themselves contend in vain. |
| Agree with me now, it'll save so much time. |
| AIDS is a virus; The Republican Party is a punishment from a God. |
| Air Conditioner 1.0. Runs under Windows. |
| Air, Fire, Water and Earth. Elementary, my dear Watson. |
| Alcohol - monstrous ocean that drowns a child's tear drops. |
| Alex, I'll take "Things only I know" for $1000, please. |
| All acts of love and pleasure are My rituals. |
| All answers questioned here. |
| All bees know that time is honey. |
| All general statements are false. |
| All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen. |
| All know the way; few actually walk it ... |
| All may yet be very well. |
| All men are created equal, on some it just sticks out a little more. |
| All Muses are busy. Please hold, your inspiration is important to us! |
| All power corrupts, but we NEED electricity. |
| All recipes require at least one extra trip to the store. |
| All ships will be in a holding pattern till further notice. |
| All stressed out . . . and no one to choke! |
| All taglines are currently busy. Please try again later. |
| All that glitters has a highly reflective coating on it. |
| All the wild witches, those most noble ladies. -- Yeats |
| All the world's a stage and all the men... Hey! where's Wardrobe? |
| All the world's a stage, and ... ... "Line! ... LINE!" |
| All the World's A Stage? Can I operate a Trap Door? |
| All those opposed, say 'Shoot me in the knees'... |
| All those that believe in Telekinesis raise my hands. |
| All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? |
| ALPO is 99 cents a can. That's almost SEVEN dog dollars! |
| Alright! Who peed in the Gene Pool? |
| Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it. |
| Always forgive your enemies. They hate that! |
| |
| Always remember to pillage before you burn. |
| Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else. |
| Am I wise or otherwise? |
| Amazing what caffeine and no sense of self-preservation can do... |
| Ambition destroys its possessor. |
| An accommodating vice is better than an obstinate virtue. |
| An apology is a good way to have the last word... |
| An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject. |
| An attacker must vanquish, a defender need only survive. |
| An elephant is a mouse with an operating system. |
| An e-mail address is a terrible thing to waste. |
| An expert is one who knows more & more about less & less. |
| An immaculate house is the sign of a misspent life. |
| An it harm none, do what thou wilt. |
| An unemployed jester is nobody's Fool... |
| Anarchy is against the law. |
| Ancient custom has the force of law. |
| And a great whirling and a bashing of keys arose... |
| and all the children are above average... |
| And are you sexually active? No, I just lay there.. |
| and don't let anyone ever tell you different! |
| And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. |
| and for my next trick I will saw reality in half. |
| And He brake Twinkies, and gave unto them to eat... |
| And I'm not humor-impaired, my face always wears this grimace! :> :> |
| And IXNAY on the wishing for more wishes! - Genie of the Lamp |
| And neither is His mother a Virgin, for She believeth in a good time. |
| And Satan said to God, "Yes, but where will YOU find a lawyer?" |
| And shun the frumious Bandersnatch. |
| And the Moon says...Come child, and dance with me... |
| And the truth shall set you free. But first it will piss you off. |
| And then Adam said, "What's a headache?" |
| And then Eve said, "WHAT time of the month??" |
| And then God said, "No, a *BUD* light!" |
| And there's more where THAT came from! |
| And they sayth unto Jesus "How the hell did you do that?" |
| And when I grow up and learn how to talk, I'M TELLING! |
| And with that cryptic comment I'm off to bed! |
| Anne Boleyn: "You'll have to f***ing kill me first!" |
| Annoy Limbaugh: Remind him the US is not a "Christian" country! |
| Another smooth escape disguised as a dramatic exit... |
| Any comments, suggestions, or howls of pain? |
| Any hymn I humbly hum must be a hymn to Her. - Adam Walks Between Worlds |
| Any Idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out. Anton |
| Any religion that rejects chocolate worships a false god. |
| Any religion that rejects coffee worships a false god. |
| Any significantly advanced technology will always seem like Magick. |
| Any use of this product will increase the disorder in the universe. |
| Anyone can walk on water. Learn where the rocks are. |
| Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. |
| Anything's possible, but not everything is probable! |
| Apathy error, don't bother striking any key. |
| Appearances aren't everything-it just looks that way! |
| Apple: A PC so simple your parents can use it. |
| Architecture is the art of how to waste space. |
| Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? |
| Are we having fun yet? -- Eeyore said with a sigh. |
| Are we having fun yet??? |
| Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? |
| Are you into casual sex or should I dress up? |
| Are you out of my mind?! |
| Are you turning everything I say into a tagline? |
| Are your cookies made with real Girl Scouts? |
| Argle bargle nargle fargle, and a coke. -SLR |
| Arise! You have nothing Toulouse but Lautrec! |
| ARM EVERYONE! The Good Guys outumber the Bad Guys! |
| Arms discourage and keep the invader & plunderer in awe. - Paine |
| Artificial Reality Test Site |
| As a child I was an imaginary playmate. |
| As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. |
| As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288 |
| As I said, I never repeat myself. |
| As King Arthur said, some days it all seems so feudal. |
| As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code. |
| Ask every question. Question every answer. |
| Ask someone to pick a number between 1 and 10. Then run away. |
| Assassins do it from behind. |
| Asset: A little donkey. |
| At a seance, he who levitates is host. |
| At any time, our snipers can drop you. Have a nice day. |
| At least while she's off in another world she's relatively harmless... |
| At what point in the dairy process is the Milk Dud made? |
| AT&GETMAIL&READMAIL&REPLY&DOITAGAIN |
| AT&T Sub-space: The next best thing to beaming there... |
| Atheism: a nonprophet system. |
| Atheists don't have a prayer. |
| Avoid cliches like the plague--they're a dime a dozen. |
| Avoid Computer Virus -- Practice safe HEX! |
| Bacteria is the only culture some people will ever have. |
| Bad artists copy. Great artists steal.- Picasso |
| BAD command or filename! Go stand in the corner. |
| Bad or missing mouse driver. Now hiring exp. mouse drivers. |
| BakerDos 4.0: (O)ffer a jelly baby; (C)onfuse 'em; (S)earch pockets |
| Balance equations for food. (sign held by out of work engineer) |
| Barney is a purple velociraptor, and he LOVES your kids! |
| Barney: What happens when you feed a Smurf after midnight. |
| Baroque (adj.): When you are out of Monet. |
| Bartender, I'd like whatever the man on the floor was drinking. |
| BASIC programmers never die, they GOSUB without RETURN. |
| Be alert! The world needs more lerts! |
| Be astonishingly mysterious. |
| Be careful what you ask for. You might get it. |
| Be careful what you wish for...you just might get it! |
| Be happy. It is a way of being wise. |
| Be nice to flamers. They hate that. |
| Be nice to the newbies, now! |
| be woodwise and invisible... |
| BEAST, says the label, Questing, 1 the bill of lading. |
| Beat me! Hurt me! Make me run Windows. |
| Been there, done that, got the T-shirt! |
| Before advising "Be yourself!" reassess his character. |
| Beheading: The ultimate loss of face. |
| Behind every great man is his butt. |
| Being normal isn't one of my strengths. |
| Being Politically Correct means Always Having to Say You're Sorry. |
| Believe in a loving God, infidel, or die! |
| Believing in yourself is the beginning of wisdom. |
| Bend the facts to fit the conclusion. It's easier that way. |
| Betazoid wedding dress...can't beat the price. |
| better a bitch than a doormat. |
| Beware of geeks bearing GIFs. |
| Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers. |
| Beware the person with only one book. |
| Bibliovorus - Devours Books with uncanny speed. |
| Big on NATURAL foods? 80% of people die of NATURAL causes! |
| Bisexual and proud! |
| Bisexual Bitch from Hell with Attitude. |
| Bisexual bitch with an attitude twice her size... |
| Blessed are the Fundamentalists, for they shall inhibit the earth. |
| Blonde Klingons: because it was a good day to dye. |
| Blondes don't have more fun - their attention span is shorter! |
| Blood is thicker than water. It's much tastier, too! |
| BLORF: The sound of a very large amount of E-mail arriving. |
| Blow your mind. Smoke gunpowder. |
| Boldly going Forward because we still can't find Reverse! |
| Books? I'd rather lend you my dog...he knows his way home! |
| Bother, said Pooh, as he put the message in the wrong conference. |
| Bourgeois societies have so far succeeded. - Heilbroner |
| Breaking glass does not make an emergency any less severe. |
| Breath deep the gathering gloom... |
| Brevity is the soul of wit..Shakespeare, Hamlet |
| Brightest Blessings and Good Health! |
| Bring me A SHRUBBERY!!!!! |
| Brother Maynard, Have you the holy hand grenade? |
| Budgets, like diets, don't work... |
| Build-A-Tagline Kit -> asdfghjklqwertyuiopzxcvbnm.?",:;$ |
| Burglar needed. All applicants please see Gandalf The Grey. |
| Burro: an ass. Burrow: a hole in the ground. Know the difference. |
| Bush for President again? I Quayle at the thought.... |
| But apart from such tragic confusion of tiny minds, I'm fine. |
| But every elephant, I suppose, learns to cope with his nose. |
| But honey, I wouldn't be up as late on a faster machine! |
| But I *like* peril! |
| But I don't have this problem with everyone! |
| But I still haven't found what I'm lookin' for... |
| But once you are real, you can't become unreal again. |
| but the good stuff is true. ;-) |
| But then again I think Klingons are cuddly. |
| But we decide which is right/and which *is* an illusion... |
| But, in the meantime, rest well, and dream of large women. |
| But, Mom! Avogadro's not IN the phone book!!! |
| But, where DID the Harlequin get the jellybeans? |
| Buy land. It's not being made anymore. |
| By one man's will many must woe endure. |
| By the way, what does BTW stand for? |
| by.—Douglas Adams |
| C CODE, C CODE RUN, RUN CODE RUN, &%$%$&% CODE RUN! |
| C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN |
| C:\DOS\SYSTEM\UTILS\DOCS\HELP\WHERE THE F()@% AM I! |
| c:\like totally cool choice of a file, dude! * Ellen Reed |
| C:\WIN C:\WIN\RUN PLEASE\WIN\RUN |
| C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\RUN C:\WINDOWS\RUN\AMUCK.EXE |
| Cabbage that wilt shall be the cole of the slaw. |
| California does have its faults. |
| California Earthquake Festival - 01 Jan through 31 Dec. |
| California has its faults, but at least it's lively. |
| California raisins murdered! Cereal killer suspected. |
| Call out the vice squad! Someone's mounting a disk drive! |
| Calm down! It's only ones and zeroes... |
| Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?? |
| Can the Borg assimilate Q? |
| Can you get a DUI on the information superhighway? |
| Can you have faith in groundhogs if they're afraid of their own shadows? |
| Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"? |
| Candygram for Mongo! -- Mongo LIKE candy! |
| Cannibalism is the sincerest form of flattery... |
| Cannibals don't eat clowns. They taste funny. |
| Captain! It's the Pirate Roberts! He's Dread, Jim! |
| Cardassian Cable Co.: 4 channels? No, we have 5 channels. |
| Cardinal Sin : Something only Catholic Clergy Do. |
| Carefully avoid anything said to be NEATO! |
| case. Woody Allen |
| CAUTION: Body slippery when oiled - ride at your own risk! |
| Caution: I drive using The Force. |
| CAUTION: The person whose toes you step on today may be the ass you have to |
| Cavorting about like that isn't proper behavior. - Picard |
| ceiling?!" |
| Celery farmers play the stalk market. |
| Censor: (n) One who drinks too much prude juice |
| Change is inevitable ... except from a vending machine. |
| Change your mind every three months or 3,000 miles. |
| Chaos is alive & Magic is afoot! |
| Chastity: The most unnatural of the perversions. |
| Check your hormones at the door. THANKS -The Management |
| Chekhov |
| Chicken Little only has to be right once. |
| Children have more need of models than of critics. |
| Chocolate, a large waterbed, and thou... |
| Choking on ANOTHER Xanth novel??? Apply the HEINLEIN MANEUVER!!! |
| Choose your death carefully. You'll be stuck with it for a long time. |
| Circle not found: (A)bort, (R)ecast, (F)ail... |
| Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. |
| Civil Defense Booklet: Do not panic. Do NOT look directly at fireball. |
| Clap On *CLAP* *CLAP* Clap Off *CLAP* *CL*$*(@)F{]/~` NO CARRIER |
| Classified tagline. Please enter password: _ |
| Clean, dependable, hard working....good god what kind of monster have I become? |
| Cleanliness is next to impossible. |
| Click ... click ... click ... damn, out of taglines! |
| Climbing my family tree was fun, until the nuts appeared. |
| Cloak captioned for the Romulan impaired. |
| Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery. |
| Clothes captioned for the skyclad impaired. |
| Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society. Mark |
| Cloven captioned for the fruit impaired. |
| Cloven captioned for the hoof impaired. |
| Cloves captioned for the Ham impaired. |
| COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods. |
| Coffee - 2 sugars - cream - and aspirin. |
| Coffee is good food. |
| Come fog, fire or Fall! Have I made myself plain enough? |
| Come on... Lead me into temptation... I'm really BORED! |
| Coming soon for the power cookers, macrowave ovens! |
| Common sense is the least common of all senses. |
| Comparisons are odious.--John Fortesque |
| Compile, run, curse. Recompile, rerun, recurse. |
| Compost! A rind is a terrible thing to waste! |
| Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. |
| Computers eliminate spare time. |
| Computers never crash, though they occasionally explode for no reason |
| Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking... |
| Condom Firm Stretches Product Line - film at 11 |
| CONSCIOUSNESS: That annoying time between naps. |
| Conservative: One who admires the ideals of dead liberals. |
| Consistency: The last rule of the unimaginative. |
| Context! My kingdom for a context! <grin> |
| Correct me if I'm wrong, everybody else does. |
| Correction does much, but encouragement does more. |
| Could Basil make thyme with Rosemary? |
| Could you continue your petty bickering? I find it most intriguing. |
| Courage is the power to let go of the familiar ... |
| Cowboy Foreplay: "Honey, you 'wake?" |
| Cows may come & cows may go but the bull goes on forever! |
| Crayola presents a new color! TARDIS BLUE!!! |
| Crayons can take you more places than starships. * Guinan |
| Cream rises to the top......but then, so does scum... |
| Create your own reality, or live in someone else's... |
| Crime does not pay as well as politics. |
| Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it. |
| Crime...Sex...Drugs...Alcohol...God, I love TV evangelists!!! |
| Cry "Bother!" and let loose the four poohs of the Apocalypse. |
| Cry "ribbit" and let slip the frogs of war! |
| Cry "Squeak" and let loose the Four Ferrets of the Apocalypse! |
| Cunning and deceit will serve a man better than force. - Machiavelli |
| d;naveornv. Oops, Sorry, fell asleep on the keyboard. |
| Dahmer for Slim Fast: Two shakes, and a sensible teen for dinner. |
| Dan Quayle library burned! Both books destroyed! |
| Dan Quayle: A real Mr. potatoe head. |
| Dances with Tribbles. |
| Danger! Human just stepped away from keyboard! |
| Day destroys the night. Night divides the day. |
