The Room Where I Died

Title: The Room Where I Died - A Favor for Scully V

Author: Renee Lewis

Email: rlewis@netcom.ca

Rating: PG - back to the stuff that's okay for kiddies too.

Category: SRA, MSR,

Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance, ScullyAngst, Babyfic

Spoilers: The Field Where I Died (I'm lost in season 4 here, so I'm pretty sure it's safe for everyone)

Archive? Yes - drop me a line if you get a chance. I'd like to check out your site.

Feedback? You're joking right? Please, I live for it.

Summary: Scully deals with the events of the episode. The fifth story in the Favor for Scully series.

Disclaimer: The plot and ideas here belong to Chris Carter and the folks at 1013. I must agree with many other authors out there and contend that Mulder and Scully belong to DD and GA respectively. The show wouldn't exist without their excellent portrayals. The song "Have a Little Faith in Me" belongs to Jewel and is part of the Phenomenon soundtrack.

Authors Notes: Okay, here we go again. I'm enjoying myself in this little universe too much to let go now. I think this story is unique to fanfic in that I'm taking my 'Alternate Universe' story line and allowing it to crisscross with the timeline in Season 4. "The Field Where I Died" actually aired on November 3, but I'm playing around with that date purely for entertainment purposes. I feel rather justified in doing so as CC frequently airs episodes out of order, and episodes often feature dates that are not coincident with their air date. At any rate, my research has not turned up any specific date in reference to this ep, other than the air date. By the way, this by no means indicates that any of the previous or later episodes in Season 4 have occurred in my universe - this is just an intersection point between mine and CC's. Hope you enjoy this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Now, on with the show.

December 4, 1996

1:54 PM

Mulder/Scully Residence

Georgetown, VA

14 Weeks

Scully stormed through the front door, dragging her suitcase behind her. She imagined that steam was rising off her in waves as the fury built within her. It was only further aggravated by the obstacle course that was currently occupying her living room. Boxes sat unpacked over most of the available floor space.

Mulder watched as Scully marched ahead of him, headed straight for the stairs leading to the second floor. "Scully. Scully, wait." He reached an arm out to halt her progress.

"What do you want, Mulder?"

Mulder paused. He didn't know what he wanted. He wanted Scully to stop being angry with him, but he couldn't tell her that and he didn't know what to do about it without asking her. "Let me help you with that."

She took a deep breath and continued to glare at him for several moments. "I don't need your help. You just take care of your own things, you're pretty good at that."

Scully turned on her heel to leave, when Mulder spoke again. "Is this about Melissa? If it is, I'm..."

"You're what Mulder? You're sorry. Is that what you're going to say. What would you have said if you'd been hurt, or worse? I don't think 'sorry' is going to cut it here Mulder. I don't know what is."

She continued her journey upstairs, the suitcase bumping painfully against her leg and each stair. She dropped it at the entrance to the bedroom (*their* bedroom), she corrected mentally. She immediately kicked off her shoes and began undressing. Once clad in tights and a sweatshirt, she felt a little better.

(I'm going to need some new clothes soon,) she thought distractedly. As if their most recent case hadn't been bad enough, every single pair of pants she owned were almost painfully tight on her now-expanding waist. She laid back on the bed and rubbed her stomach idly. (That certainly isn't very good for you.)

Her eyes roamed about the room. They had only moved into the townhouse the past weekend, and spent more nights in a motel room than here. She looked at the mixture of their things, his life mixing with hers. She was lying on *their* bed. In reality it was hers, but they had shared it too many times in the recent past for her to lay claim to it any longer.

She felt the anger bubbling inside her again. This was not going to work. She needed a peaceful place to think. A place that was hers, or at least not his.

She stood and retrieved a quilt her mother had given her, wrapping it around herself to ward off the chill that seemed to have settled into her bones. While doing so, she noticed the picture tossed carelessly on the dresser. It was a picture of the two of them together. Her friend Lisa had sent the photo, snapped by a photographer roaming around the wedding reception that night seemingly many lifetimes in the past.

She picked it up and admired it for a second. They had actually stopped what they were doing and looked at the camera. Mulder was standing behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist, hers wrapped over his. They were both smiling and she was leaning into his embrace and his head was lowered and forward so that their faces were almost side by side. They looked so happy and so *right*, like they belonged together.

"Sergeant. Great. Wonderful." She wasn't exactly yelling, but she wasn't being quiet either. She threw the picture back on the dresser and stormed out of the room, halting once she was in the hallway. She didn't know where to go. She couldn't go to work, that was more his domain than hers. She didn't want to go to her mother's. She wanted to go back to her old apartment - that was all hers.

About to sit down in the hallway where she stood, she spied the door at the other end of the hallway. She opened the door to the small room, walked in and closed it behind her. This was the baby's room, or it would be once they had gotten around to buying all the things they needed for it. As it was right now, it was completely bare- a bare hardwood floor with bare, white walls and bare windows.

(Well, it's not mine, but it's not Mulder's either.) She slumped to the floor leaning her back against the wall. She could hear him downstairs, making Mulder noises, opening the fridge door, moving things around, maybe even unpacking a couple of boxes. Well, she couldn't get rid of him completely, but at least he had the good sense to not come up to the second floor.

(Not that good sense and Mulder usually go hand in hand.) Scully sighed loudly, her sigh echoing in the empty room. She was angry with Mulder for some of the things he had done. But, once the anger faded, she was hurt. He had broken her heart and she never imagined, never suspected that he would.

Mulder was so single-minded when it came to his pursuit of the truth. She supposed she should've expected it, she should've realized that he would have dropped everything to find out if there was any truth behind Melissa's claims. She still couldn't believe that 'everything' included her.

She remembered trying to look into Mulder's eyes after Melissa claimed that she was his soulmate. He wouldn't look at her. He was completely entranced with Melissa - his soulmate for every life he had lived before this one, and every life after. She had said that they were only destined to meet in passing this time, but Mulder seemed to want more.

A single tear escaped from her eyes, unshed tears clouded her vision and she closed her eyes against them. She didn't know if she believed any of this. She had believed, before that field, before that room, that she and Mulder were soulmates - meant for each other, complementing the other completely.

Now, she didn't know what she believed. She still loved Mulder, with all her heart. She loved him enough to show him those pictures - the proof that validated his theory. But could she still believe that they were soulmates when he didn't. He believed his soulmate had already passed on and was waiting for him in the next life.

Footsteps on the stairs interrupted her thoughts, and Scully quickly wiped her face with the edge of her sleeve. After several minutes, the door opened.

"Scully? What are you doing in here?" Mulder looked confused as he crouched down before her.

"I was trying to be alone." She refused to meet his eyes.

"Scully, please. We need to talk. This isn't going to get better if we don't."

"I'm not ready to talk to you Mulder. I don't want to talk to you Mulder. Therefore, *we* are not going to talk. Now, please, leave me alone."

"Okay, for a while. But then we'll talk." His voice was soft in stark contrast to the harshness of hers. He reached a hand out to grasp hers, but stopped just short of contact with her. It stayed there a minute, hovering just above her clasped-together hands. He withdrew it, never touching her and left the room quietly.

Scully shifted on the floor. Despite the quiet offered by the nursery, it lacked any measure of physical comfort. Finally, she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, her mother's quilt pillowing her head. The room was slowly growing dark as the light from outside faded. Her hand strayed once again to her belly, caressing it slowly. Her thoughts turned back to the room, that night when she had died.

She was his father, his sergeant, an important person in his life. But Melissa, Melissa was his soulmate. He had declared it that night. She could still hear his voice, breaking as he began to cry. "But love... love... souls mate eternal... my... husband is taken away from me. To the camps. He is Melissa. We're always taken away."

Tears formed in her eyes as she replayed their later conversation. Mulder had asked her: "Dana, if, um... early in the four years we've been working together... an event occurred that suggested or somebody told you that... we'd been friends together in other lifetimes... always... wouldn't it have changed some of the ways we looked at one another?"

She hadn't known how to respond to that, especially considering they weren't currently in a 'friendship' type of relationship. Did he regret that they had become lovers - that they were now about to be parents - linked together for the remainder of this life? Maybe he felt as if he had sold out on his soulmate and lost his chance with her.

(Not that he hadn't tried to remedy that situation.) Scully grimaced inwardly. She still wondered what would have happened, where they would be right now, had Melissa survived. She honestly didn't know.

She could hear him banging around beneath her again. They shouldn't have moved into this place so soon. She remembered arguing that neither of their apartments would be suitable for them to move into and they had begun their search for a larger place. This townhouse was perfect. It had two bedrooms, a room that could serve as an office and a deck that led to a small backyard, in addition to all the usual perks. The rent was reasonable - more than either of them paid alone, but substantially less than their combined rents. They hadn't been prepared to move so quickly, but the landlord had insisted, threatening to rent to other tenants should they choose to wait.

She sighed as she heard the front door close. Mulder had left her again. Never mind that she had asked him to, well actually, ordered him. She already felt deserted by him.

(How have I come to this point? Where did I go wrong? I was not supposed to end up a single mother - alone because the father - my lover - didn't love me anymore. Instead he loves a woman he doesn't know, a woman who is already dead.)

New tears fell from her eyes. She thought of her friends from college and what they would think of her situation now. It was their opinions that caused her to go to Mulder in the first place. Less than a week ago, she was thankful for the results of that ruse. Now she wasn't so sure.

Exhausted from her emotional turmoil and from the trials of the case, she allowed her eyes to close, welcoming the darkness in hopes of a dreamless slumber.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Mulder sat next to Scully's sleeping form. She lay on her back, head tilted slightly to the side where he sat. The marks from her earlier tears had faded to the point where they were almost invisible. He wasn't certain how long she had been sleeping, but he'd only been gone a little over an hour. He wanted to pick her up and carry her to bed, so she could sleep more comfortably. He knew, however, that this would awaken her and he was quite certain it would anger her all over again.

Sliding a gentle hand over her flaming tresses, he leaned down to kiss her temple. She stirred slightly and then slowly opened her eyes. His voice when he greeted her was low and it reminded her of the many beautiful words he had spoken to her with the same voice.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." She replied, struggling upright. Her muscles showing their disapproval of her resting spot. Mulder helped her rise until she sat completely upright. Moving behind her, he began to slowly massage the muscles across her shoulders and neck.

"Why don't you let me bring you to bed?"

The concern in his voice softened her heart further. "I'm okay Mulder. I just needed a little nap, that's all."

"You know, there's a perfectly good bed down the hall. I think it's a little early for the baby to be sleeping in the nursery."

She smiled at the remark, but remained silent.

Several minutes passed when Mulder moved to sit in front of her. They sat facing each other, both sitting Indian style, Mulder holding her clasped hands in both of his. The silence was interrupted as they both spoke the other's name.

His mouth twisted in a slight smile. "I need to speak first Scully. I'm sorry. I was a complete ass. I got totally absorbed in this - in that - whole thing that I completely ignored... well, I just didn't think. I'm sorry for that."

"Mulder, I know you're sorry, but I don't know if it's enough."

"Wait, Scully. Let me finish. I was so fascinated with the possibility that I had met Melissa in another life, and recognized her in this life, that I didn't think through my actions. I was so caught up in the saga of the two soulmates who were eternally ripped apart that I wanted to save them. I believed that I could end the cycle."

"Do you still believe that now?" Scully's voice was barely a whisper in the silent room.

"Do I believe what - in the saga - in the cycle - that I can stop it? Do I believe that she is my soulmate?"

Scully looked at him expectantly, her heart balanced on his answer.

"No. I don't think she is my soulmate. If she were, why did she play such an insignificant part in my life, in this life? I believe I may have known and loved her in a previous life. You proved as much to me with those pictures.

"No, I don't believe she is my soulmate, Scully. I believe you are. I believe that we have been cultivating this relationship over lifetimes. You have always been an important part of my lives, and you have grown closer with each lifetime. First you were my sergeant, than my father and now, well now you are my everything. We can't get any closer than this Scully. I believe that now our souls will be mated eternally.

"They say that love based on friendship is the strongest. Ours is a love based on friendships that have spanned lifetimes, so it will last lifetimes. At least that is what I believe. I'm sorry that I got lead astray. I'm sorry I hurt you and I want to make it better, but I don't know how."

Scully gazed into the endless depths of his eyes and felt her heart screaming: 'HE LOVES ME!" She couldn't let go of the anger though, and the fear she felt as she watched him walk willingly to what she thought would amount to his death.

"Mulder, what you did yesterday was more than foolish and impulsive. It was irresponsible. You could've died and you could've easily prevented that risk. You have more than yourself to think about now. You need to realize that there are consequences to your actions and those consequences not only affect you, but me and this baby."

"Scully, don't you think I realize that? Don't you think I've been kicking myself over what I did? I know that I would be furious if you put yourself needlessly at risk. I know I was stupid and I haven't forgiven myself for doing it. I don't know what I would do if I lost you Scully. I don't even want to think about it, but I'm forcing myself to - so I will remember the next time a dumb idea drops itself into my head. I can't guarantee anything, but I can promise you that I will *try* to not be so impulsive. But you have to promise to kick me in the ass if I start to be too obsessed. Okay?"

She nodded her head in agreement and unclasped her hands so she could hold his. They held hands for only a moment, when he broke the contact to pull her into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. She nuzzled her head against his neck, pressing a kiss against his collarbone.

They sat together until their muscles grew stiff. Mulder stirred, causing Scully to look up at him. His voice was husky when he spoke and he seemed hesitant, almost nervous.

"Scully, come downstairs with me. I uh... want you to come downstairs and dance with me."

A single eyebrow arched high on her forehead. "Dance with you, Agent Mulder?"

"Yeah. I think we should christen our new place." He laughed a little.

"I thought we already did that, our first night here."

"I mean *christen* it with a dance. You have a dirty mind, woman."

Scully looked at him questioningly. "We never danced in any of our other places, why now?"

Mulder let out an exasperated sigh. "Because I'm trying to be romantic. Because there's a song I want you to hear. Why do you have to analyze everything?"

She smiled at his frustration. "Okay, Mulder. Take me to your dance floor."

Once downstairs, Scully realized that Mulder had indeed cleared enough space in the living room for them to dance. While he loaded the CD into the stereo, she picked up the case and scanned the titles, trying to guess which song he was about to play. Before she had figured it out, he took the case from her hand and pulled her into his arms. The first strains of a guitar began to play from the speakers.

A woman's voice, soft and haunting began to fill the room:

When the road gets dark

And you can no longer see

Just let my love throw a spark baby

Have a little faith in me

When the tears you cry

Oh you can't believe

Just give these loving arms a try baby

Have a little faith in me

Scully rested her head against his chest, one arm wrapped tightly around his waist. Her other hand was held in his, both close to his heart. His arm was wrapped around her upper back and they swayed gently to the beat of the music.

Have a little faith in me

When your secret heart

Cannot speak so easily

Come here darling, from a whisper start

Have a little faith in me

When your back's against the wall

Just turn around you will see

I will catch you, I will catch your fall

Have a little faith in me

The woman's voice continued, stronger now and more desperate. Emotions screaming louder than her words ever could.

I've been in love with you

For such a long, long time baby

I expect nothing in return

But just for you to have a little faith in me

They say time, time is friend

When you have me, and there is no one

All you gotta do is have a little faith in me

I said I'm holding on, I'm holding on

Strength little darling, have a little faith in me

Hey baby, oh baby oh,

All you gotta do is have a little faith in me

Oh, all you gotta do is have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me.

The song ended in a flurry of strings and then silence filled the room once again. Scully looked up at Mulder and found he was looking down at her.

"It's beautiful. Who sings it? I mean, the voice sounds familiar, but I can't place it."

He smiled at her. "Jewel." When recognition failed to register on her face, he continued. "She was singing in that bar in San Francisco."

"Hey Scully, I don't want to sound corny, but... do you think that you can put your faith in me? Forever?"

She smiled at him. "Of course Mulder. I have, for a long time now."

Mulder's smile faltered and his eyes searched the floor at their feet. He almost lost his nerve until he felt Scully's arm tighten about his waist. He pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Uhmm... that's not exactly what I meant Scully. I mean, will you put your faith in me and marry me?"

Shock registered across her face and then it broke into a huge smile, reaching all the way to her eyes.

"Is that a 'yes'?"

"Of course it's a 'yes'." She threw her arms around him.

"Oh shit," he mumbled. "I did it wrong."

"What do you mean 'you did it wrong' Mulder? You didn't do anything wrong. It was perfect."

"No, no. I forgot something. Stay right here." With that, he dashed up the stairs, leaving Scully standing in the middle of the living room in wonder. She heard him moving around in the bedroom, slamming drawers. Finally after several minutes, he returned, a small velvet box in his hand.

She felt tears spring to her eyes. He handed her the box and before she could open it, he covered it with his hand.

"It's not typical of what you'd expect to find in there."

Scully contemplated his warning and steeled herself against what she might find inside. Images of plastic rings with alien heads flashed in her mind. When she finally opened the box, the ring it held caused her breath to catch in her throat.

"It's beautiful" was all she could whisper. It was. A deep blue stone sat framed by ribbons of gold twisting around it in an antique-looking, ornate design. The stone caught the light, causing white lines to dance across its surface in a six-sided star pattern.

"You like it?" She responded with the nod of her head. "It's a star-sapphire. I hoped you would like it."

He took the ring from the box and grasped her left hand, sliding the ring to its proper place on her hand. She was surprised that it fit so perfectly. He had obviously thought about this in advance, although she wasn't sure how he managed to get the right size. She didn't care. He loved her and was going to marry her and she was the happiest woman on the planet.

She held her hand at arms' length and admired it. Mulder watched her, sure that he had made the right choice. He wondered if she saw the ring as he did, a mixture of the two of them: her eyes the color of sapphires, his always looking to the stars. He didn't care. She loved him and was going to marry him and he was the happiest man on the planet, actually in the universe.

Epilogue

The wedding was small necessarily. They hadn't had much time to prepare and they didn't have many people they wanted to invite. Scully's family: her mother, brothers and their wives, had attended, obviously. They had invited Skinner, and to his credit, he took the news in stride. Mulder had invited the Lone Gunmen and his mother, the later left immediately after the ceremony, choosing to not stay for the dinner afterwards. Scully had invited Lisa, Heather and Cheryl, partly out of obligation and partly out of thanks. It had been Lisa's wedding that had pushed them together, after all. Only Lisa and Heather had come, Cheryl apologizing, citing family obligations.

It was to be expected, after all, they had chosen to get married on Christmas Eve. Well, actually Mulder had chosen the date. His research had been more extensive than just the perfect ring and size. He had also found a large cottage on a lake just outside of the Washington area. The main area had been set up with tables for dinner and it was from these tables that the guests sat to watch the ceremony.

Mulder and Scully walked down the aisle together. Her brother Bill had offered to give Dana away, but she refused. She and Mulder had traveled this far together, got to this point together and would continue from here together. They stood before the priest and pledged their love forever. Behind the priest, framed in glass doors, waves crashed onto the beach. The fireplace inside kept the cold at bay.

Mulder had worn a black tuxedo and Scully had dressed in a modest, but becoming, ivory slip dress. Her bare shoulders were covered with a sheer wrap of the same hue and tiny white flowers danced in the curls of her hair. They looked beautiful together. After dinner, they danced to the song Mulder had chosen (this time, not intentionally for the wedding) and spent the remainder of the evening socializing and mixing with family and friends.

At midnight, a final toast was made, welcoming Christmas. Mulder and Scully welcoming the first of many as husband and wife. Afterwards, everyone retired to their respective cabins (there were several surrounding the main cottage) while Mulder and Scully spent the night together in the cottage they were married in: their first of many nights as husband and wife.

The End.

A Final Note: No, this is not the end of the series. It seems kind of final, this last part, but that's just the way it worked. And I know, everyone wants the baby - it's coming. What can I say - except pregnancies do last *9* months. A lot can happen in that time, but the baby should be coming in the next couple of installments - definitely not the next one though. Sorry. Anyway, hope you liked it. And for those of you who offered input as to how Mulder would propose - Thanks. I kind of melted them together to make this a unique (I hope) story, but if you look really close, all the suggestions - or most of them - are there. Send any and all feedback to rlewis@netcom.ca.

Thanks.