But one day Marlon (the monkey's name was "Marlon") was captured by The American Institute for Studies Of Language, and carted off to a large and grey laboratory.

"Ook oo ook ook," said Marlon. This was not so good.

At the Institute they tried to teach him sign language, but found him stubbornly resistant. All he would do was sign to the scientists, "Come over here and bend over", and then he would spit in their lab-coat pockets and send them coughing and gagging away at the foul smelling purulence created from their pocket lint. Marlon was also not allowed to play with his graphics software. This continued for what seemed like months; that is, until...

One fateful day when things changed for the worse... or maybe not for the worse, can't remember. Anyway, 16 guys on the conference board for AISL had just come back from a really complex but uninteresting trip to Bangladesh. There they had been secretly sprayed with an unknown substance by a passing elephant-cart (driver unknown also).

After the conference guys put down their suitcases and had shaved, washed, clipped, etc., they were told to go see Marlon by the big overlord guy at AISL. They reluctantly plodded into Marlon's playroom, but as they did so, A small bit of the unknown substance brushed against the air conditioner and started whirring around in the air, and a weird (but not bad) smell filled the room. The 16th conference guy gasped with horror as Marlon began to turn green and purple. Then all of them screamed and skidded down the hallway and called Veterinary Security. Just as the scientists arrived in the playroom with fake toys and subliminal message tapes....