I rolled over blearily as the phone rang. Two o'clock in the fucking morning. I grabbed the phone. "Hello?"

A rough Texas accent broke me out of the last of my sleep. "Hi Chris. I think I have something here that belongs to you."

I shot upright. "What the hell are you talking about?"

The voice on the other end chuckled slightly. "Relax kid. I'm not some psycho. This is Shawn."

I relaxed slightly. "Oh. Uhm. So, as you were saying..."

A dramatic sigh. "As I was saying, a certain blonde is asleep on my couch and I was thinking you might wanna come collect him or something."

Tears of relief sprang to my eyes. "Hunter's with you then?"

I could almost hear Shawn shaking his head. "No. actually, he's swimming with the fishes because Malenko put a Mafia hit on him. Yes, he's with me. Now are you coming here or not?"

***

Shyly, I knocked on the door. Three hours to get here. I think I'm gonna kill Hunter.

Shawn opens the door, looking nearly as tired as I am. "I didn't think you were gonna show." I tried to answer him, but could only yawn. He smiled sympathetically. "He's over here."

I followed him into the living room where a pathetic bundle of blankets, and Hunter, lie on the couch. I knelt down on the floor next to him, brushing some stray hairs out of his face. It was hard not to notice that his eyes were red and swollen, even in sleep. I glanced up at Shawn. "Is he ok?"

Shawn moved over to sit on the edge of the couch. "You want the truth, or some answer to make you feel better?"

I shook my head. "I want to know what the hell happened tonight. I don't need you to sugar coat things for me."

"Ok then, well why don't we talk over here so we won't wake him up." We walked over to a table in the next room. Shawn poured me a cup of coffee and sat down across from me. "What happened tonight was that Vince gave Hunter all of five minutes notice that he had to go out and kick Austin's sorry ass."

I added some sugar to my cup and swirled it around. "So he ran off without telling anyone just because of the heel turn? That doesn't sound like him..."

Shawn sighed, rubbing his eyes. "You'd think that, wouldn't you? Turns out he's been under more stress than he told anyone about." He paused, looking to the side. "I think I'll let him tell you about it."

I followed the path of his eyes to the doorway where Hunter stood, his hair tousled from sleep, blinking tiredly. I slowly got up out of my chair and walked over at him. He stared at me dispassionately. "What are you doing here?" he murmured.

I took a deep breath, trying to remind myself that it was early in the morning, that Hunter was going through a rough time, and that I really had no room to criticize him for acting like a brat. "Well, after being scared half to death because I couldn't find you anywhere, I had to get a new rental car because SOMEONE took the one I was sharing. I got, oh, and hour of sleep when I got back to the hotel before I got a phone call that you were over here. So I drove three hours to find you. Does that answer your question?"

Hunter lowered his head and I immediately wanted to kick myself for bitching at him. "I'm sorry. I just had to...get away."

Shawn stood up. "I'm gonna get some sleep. You two..uhm..stay as long as you want, ok?" He slipped out of the room.

Without a word to me, Hunter walked back into the living room at sat down on the couch. I sat down next to him, quiet, waiting for him to start the conversation. Finally, he whispered "I don't wanna talk about it."

I couldn't keep back a tiny sigh. "Right. Because, you know, that strategy worked so well for me...."

He let out a shaky breath. "Our situations aren't even close. This is totally different."

I reached out to touch him, but he jerked away. I folded my hands in my lap and tried to speak as calmly as possible. "Not really. No matter what kind of problem it is, you most definitely have one. And if you don't talk to someone about it, it's gonna destroy you just like my problem nearly destroyed me."

His voice was distant, soft, but it didn't stop the impact of his words. "I talked to Shawn about it...."

I bit my lip, trying to crush down the feelings of anger and jealousy those words brought up. This was not the time for me to be petty and self-centered. "Yeah. I guess you did." I couldn't stop the rest of the words from tumbling out. "And you got upset and you ran to Shawn."

Hunter looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "I just drove. I wasn't trying to get here, it just sort of happened."

I took a deep breath. "Hunter...did I do something? Am I what's causing this..this problem? What were you running from?"

Hunter turned to stare at me. Apparently, I caught his attention. "Chris, I..." He looked away. "No. You aren't the problem. As a matter of fact, you're the reason I'm still sane."

I moved over so I was next to him, our legs touching. I can't keep this distance forever. "Hunter, when I was having those nightmares....I know that by not telling you what happened, I put you through hell." I brushed my fingers down the side of his face to make him look at me. "Please don't do the same to me."

He closed his eyes, bringing his head down to rest on my shoulder, and as I wrapped my arms around him I could feel the tension in his body. "I'm so tired, Chris." His voice was a pained whisper.

I stroked his hair, letting the silky strands twine around my fingers. "What from?"

After the initial hesitation, the words flowed from him in a rush. "Of everything. It's been almost two years now where I've had to spend every day putting myself in this attitude of anger and bitterness....and every time I found a friend, someone who I could call an ally, I would end up having to leave them, first Sean and Jesse and Billy, then Joanie, and then I lost the guys all over again..." He paused and I could feel the tears start. "And it was finally getting to the point where I could relax, when I didn't have to be so full of hate....and then tonight....I had DX back and I was so happy...and now every single one of them is gone again."

I was speechless. I never knew, all of us, me, Joanie, everyone had thought that Hunter wanted it that way, that he had wanted to be alone on-screen. "None of us are really going to leave you." I tried. "Off-screen....we all still love you..."

"It's not the same." His voice was choked with his tears. "I can't explain it, but it's not. I..." His voice dropped again. "I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this."

What do you say to something like that? I'm so lost...I thought Hunter was supposed to be the strong one.....I settled for making small soothing noises and holding him as he cried out his anger and frustration and exhaustion and fear.

When he had regained some control, he pulled his head off my shoulder and looked at me. "Do you understand why I went to Shawn? You...you have so much energy towards life...I needed to talk to someone who understands what it's like to lose that spark."

I nodded. There was really no arguing with that. I squeezed Hunter's hand, which had somehow worked it's way into mine. "Just...I love you ok? Don't forget that. No matter what."

Hunter shook his head, but he was smiling now. "I never thought you would be the one saying that to me."

I laughed quietly, kissing Hunter. "Life is full of surprises, I guess."

Hunter yawned and wrapped his arm around me. Before I even had a chance to respond, he had pulled me down so we were squished next to each other, lying on the couch. "Sorry," he said, a hint of mischief in his voice.

I snuggled against him, and I felt him wiggle slightly to be more comfortable. "What do you say we both get a teeny bit of sleep, ok?"

A brief pause, in which both of us nearly fell asleep. "Love you." we said simultaneously. Had we been a little more awake, it would have seemed funny, but with both of us only having brief hours of sleep, it only got a tiny giggle before both of us finally drifted asleep.