PETE: MESSIAH

BY

TOM THOMAS

Hi! I’m back! many of you have read the first part of my story, in which I, Pete, became a vampire. In "The Adventures of Pete in San Jose," I related some of my adventures, and now, as Paul Harvey says, for the rest of the story.

The weeks after Larry was killed were uneventful. Charlie and I cruised the streets looking for "fun." Then, we received an assignment. We had all but destroyed the Camarilla vampires in town, but there was still one left. The Prince, head of the Camarilla vamps in the city, had his head cut off by someone. For some reason he wasn’t dead, just incapaciated. Now it seemed that a local wizard was trying to revive him. The wizard felt that it was bad for the Sabbat to have reign in the city. Since he was against us, we were sent to get him. We found the house, a nice little two-story, and parked to observe it. There was something going on upstairs, and the rest of the house was quiet. Now wizards are funny people, and very dangerous. Also, we believed that they had a werewolf with them. Werewolves and vampires do not get along, so we wanted to be careful.

I had an idea.

I called Domino’s and ordered a pizza. Then we waited. As the deliver person went up to the door, we followed. I sent Charlie to go around to the side and come in through a window. The pizza guy knocked at the door, and a little girl answered. and I went in. I pulled my gun, shoved the pizza guy inside and yelled "FBI! EVERYONE COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" I managed to knock out the pizza guy and the little girl. Charlie got in the window and headed up the stair. A werewolf got him. I took a couple of shots at a second werewolf, then I got mauled.

I died.

Then I talked with a demon, the one I had seen before. He told me I had two choices- I could go to hell and be a brick in some building, or I could sell my soul and continue my vampire life on earth. Some choice huh? I decided to sell my soul.

I woke up in a closet, in the same house we just raided. I could hear some voices. Charlie still lived, but had betrayed me. I pulled out my cell phone and called in re-enforcements. A dozen vampires ahowed up at the house, and all were run over by the big werewolf. He didn’t run them down in a car. He did it on foot. While he was doing that, I made my escape.

I later noticed the group entering the Red Lobster. I tried a drive by shooting. They had taken a window seat, and I drove up with my shotgun. Now, I’m not that great with a shotgun. I blew off my door. So I decided to leave.

Being resurrected by a demon had benefits. I gained a new power, the ability to look inside a person and see what sins stained their souls. I could preach to them about how they were going to hell because of what they did. I tried it out.

I found some street preacher, not one of those who stand on the corner with a sign saying "REPENT FOR THE END IS NEAR!" I told him of all the awful things he did, and what his fate would be. He broke down and cried.

Then I had another idea. I thought it was funny. I would start the Church of Pete, and pass myself off as the messiah! This poor man was my first convert. He "conveniently" forgot that I drank his blood.

"You never saw me like this."

"Ineversawyoulikethis."

"These are not the droids you’re looking for."

"Thesearenotthedroidswe’relookingfor."

I threw in the last bit just for fun. But what would be my next step? I decided to "convert" a well known and respected evangelist. So I called the Reverend Leroy Jenkins. I told him his sins. He already knew them. But he did accept me as Christ. Our next project would be a revival.

We advertised the revival for the next couple of days. My message was that Nirvana was more than just a band, grunge music will save your soul, I was the Son of God, that sort of stuff. The night soon came, and I went to the county fairgrounds to perform. Leroy got the croud started, and then I made my apperance.

I reformed Pete and the Torries for this event, and we played some tunes while I preached. The people loved me. But then we had a problem. Charlie and one of the werewolves were in the croud. They jumped up on stage, and I pulled my gun ( I tend to pull my gun at the slightest event; this sometimes causes trouble). Charlie and wolf-man attacked me. My band ran off (thanks people), and I shot Charlie. He was a little too close to me however. My nitroglycern rounds blew up, seriously wounding both of us. The wolf-man finished the job and ran off with Charlie. I had died for the third time.

I woke up in a hotel room. It seemed that Leroy believed in me so much that he healed me by laying his hands on me. Imagine that. I thought that God granted that power, but it now seems that the power lies within us. That, or another power decided that I had not done enough in this world yet.

I laid low for the next couple of days, and a message went out to the rest of my people: Pete has Risen! I was popular. That’s what happens when you whammy a group of people...

The wizard who got me into this mess, who also was attempting to revive the prince at the begining of this story, worked for Kreigerware. I spent the next couple of weeks planning my vengenance on him. I don’t like to die. It’s quite inconvient actually. So I was going to get him back. I made an important ally: "Uncle" Bill Gates. He offered to help me in exchange for passing out Microsoft Internet Explorer at my gatherings.

There was a spot on tv about me, telling about my rapid rise to popularity. I enjoyed it, until it was interrupted by news of a bank robbery. I seemed that the wolf-man got tired of making small money. The cameramen got a good picture of him. Then they had technical difficulities, and when that cleared up, teh reported announced that the bank robber was gone and an bear had appeared from nowhere. Of course I knew that the "bear" was wolf-man, and I thought it was kind of funny. He shifted form in front of unawakened people and cameras, just to escape pursuit. You don’t do that. You wait till you’re alone or your life is in danger. Oh well.....

But that bank robbery gave me a weapon to use against Kreigerware. Their wizard arranged for Wolf-man to get plastic surgery. I contacted Uncle Bill and told him my plan. I then "converted" the local District Attorney. The next day, because of an annonomous tip, the police raided Kreigerware. They found Wolf-man, and he matched the description of the bank robber! Uncle Bill had gotten into the police computers and altered the wanted picture. Wolf-man was hauled off to jail. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

This was lots of fun, so I wanted to do more. The wizard suddenly got audited by the local IRS agent. The very same agent I had visited the night before.... A class of school kids took a tour of Kreigerware. The kids gave out copies of Internet Explorer to the secretaries, some of whom started to use it. When the wizard found out, he was steamed. He had the entire company computer network shut down while he attempted to remove Internet Explorer. Kreigerware also had a few power failures over the next couple of days. Gee, I wonder why?

After that, I decided to get back to business. With Uncle Bill’s help, I established my own web page, on which I promoted my cult, my clothes line, and my upcoming album. I had billboards all over town advertising me, in addition to tv and radio spots.

All of these adds were special, containing subliminal messages, telling people to buy my album, worship me, et cetra and so on. I started to rake in the money.

The night my album came out, I went to a local dance club and was introduced by the DJ. He played my hit single, Worship Me!, and the croud started dancing. The album was also filled with "messages." We had a fun time. I even danced with the wizard’s assistant. She was cute. When we left, I told everyone to vote for me for Governor. I enjoyed having this kind of power. The wizard’s assistant and I spent the night in the park together, but we stayed out too late. I had to hide in my trunk when the sun came up. The girl waited until just about sundown, and drove my car (and me!), to the wizard’s house. Apparently something big was up, and they needed my help. I still don’t know if it was a trap or not, but I decided to go in. The peole were civil, except for Wolf-man (he beat the robbery charge). The girl tried to protect me, but Wolf-man mauled her. I shot him, but he just shook it off. Then he mauled me. I died for the fourth time.

For my final words, I would like to say, "Do not despair, I will return."

BUY MY ALBUM!!!!!!!!!