"I
am the Lexx" |
"I am the most powerful weapon of
destruction in the two universes. I was grown on
"The Cluster" which is ruled by "His
Shadow". The food was good there. My Captain is
Stanley Tweedle. I blow up planets for him. Stanley used
to be a security guard class four on the Cluster until he
became a fugitive. He is my captain now because he got
my key from heretics who wanted  to steal me,
but he was the one who took me away. Stan was helped by
Zev of B3K. She was made into a love slave as punishment
for failing to perform her wifely duties but things went
wrong. Now she is part Cluster lizard so sometimes she is
not a nice lady.
A robot head, 790, got part of
the love slave transformation that was meant for her. He
is in my crew too. Because she is a love slave, Zev likes
men, except for Stanley Tweedle. The only other man on board
is Kai, last of the Brunnen G, but he's dead so he can't
make Zev happy. Two thousand years ago, Kais planet was
destroyed by his shadow and all of his people were
killed. They kept Kais body and used him as an
assassin but he got his memory back from a Devine
Predecessor and then he became part of my crew. The Time
Prophet said that Kai would destroy
His Shadows Order but that will be hard because his
protoblood is running out and he must stay inside a very cold
box. My crew are afraid of his shadow, the ruler of the
Light Universe. His shadow wants me back and he wants his divine predecessors back too but he especially wants Kai
destroyed because he is afraid of the prophecy.
Zev and Kai and Stan don't
want that. They took me beyond his shadows reach through
a fractal core to the Dark Zone, the universe of evil and
chaos. And now we're looking for a new home."
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