4th August 2002 : London

    Ah. Once more we find ourselves here. Before we start to frantically search of the Exit, let us ponder on what has changed since the last incarnation of Steve Hill’s web page? Well, for a start he is now in gainful employment – this in itself is a quantum leap from the beer-addled wreck that I first knew as a university student. You see, folks, this web page was merely his attempt to alleviate boredom in between all those trips to the pub (and the occasional lecture – we never talked about those though, since it used to bring Mr Hill out in a cold sweat.) I ought to point out at this juncture that whilst his personal life has blossomed, the jokes remain just as bad as ever they were.

    It has been my privilege to introduce the two previous incarnations of this site, and once again (by request of the author, no less) I have been dragged out of retirement to provide a suitably silly introductory input. It’s nice to be wanted, innit?

    Therefore, in the vain of my previous attempts at making you leave this site with sanity intact I shall limit myself to saying, very quietly “Arrrgh!” and passing you a note (written in genuine words using writing) that says “Run, you fool – run.” 

    Yes, brace yourselves with braces, folks of world, for once again you are about to enter the workings of a mind that would make Dr Frankenstein look like a Sunday school teacher! From the country that brought you Spike Milligan, The Osbournes, Chips and Penicillin (not a good list I admit, but we used to have an empire which took up half the globe and it’s not easy to follow that) we bring you… 

    (Introduction to conclude with twenty-fart salute by the Combined Arseholes of the Queens Own Vole Strangling Regiment and a full chorus of ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ as sung by the massed choir of Mrs Ada Fumes, 176b Scran Avenue, Hull.)

Steve Upton

lost souls have passed through this way since it was put up...
This page was Last updated in the year of two thousand and two on the thirtieth of July, that's also written 30/7/02 and 7/30/02 depending on which way you look at it. I suppose it could also be written 02/7/30 and even 02/30/7 and 7/02/30 and 30/02/7 either way, its still the same day, which is a Tuesday, incase you were wondering.

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Disclaimer :- All the material here is a load of bollocks and should not be taken seriously under any circumstances, unless some of it is true, in which case it isn't a load of bollocks, just a mere coincidence and therefore nothing  to do with me.